Daniel by Henry Hartono - Drama - A story of a man trying to find the courage to escape the purgatory created by his mother with. - doc, format 8)

1)  This is too short.  If you want to capture the drama and despair, you need to pad it out more.  About thirty second elapse between Chloe meeting Gladys and her getting stabbed.  A conversation between the two will help build up the tension.  Also, more scenes between Gladys and Daniel are necessary to lay the foundation, or else all the shock value of him confronting her after she kills Chloe.

2)  The characters are one-dimensional.  I realize that the character of Gladys will only have one dimension, but she should at least seem living, having her lines more varied and whatnot.  The viewers are also not aware of her motives.Also, the romance between Chloe and Daniel doesn't seem to go beyond "I love you", "I love you".

3)  The sex scene - cut it.  A very large majority of the scripts I see here seem to involve scenes where women remove their tops.  This is a powerful drama, and it's silly to R-rate it for nothing.  You can show love without sex.

4)  The ending - it's gruesome and in my opinion unnecessary, because the climax of the film is that Daniel overcame his mother (I think, at least).  Ending it with a dead mother is fine.

The premise, though, is excellent.  With a bit of work, I think this makes an amazing (and disturbing) film.

I started to read this script, but once I got to the nudity and sex stuff, I couldn't read anymore. I would cut those scenes as JERDOL said in the above post.

I'm not exactly sure what kind of worldview you're trying to show here, explain?