Stoned Patriots by Zavier Alvarez - Short - America's founding fathers travel through time with a magical talking bong. - pdf, format 8)

Stoned Patriots 2: American Haze by Steven Cameron (wesley) & Zavier Alvarez (dick-nixon) - Short, Comedy - After a devastating nuclear attack, the Founding Fathers are once again pulled through time when a madman threatens the stoner way of life. 47 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hahahaha! You actually wrote it.

Good stuff. Very funny and very well written.

A couple of typos

Page 1 you say 'vale' when I think you mean 'veil' - unless that's an Americanism.

Page 4 'need elsewhere' should be 'needed'

The bong says they are needed in the past, around 1974. Surely you mean the future.

Overall, a fun read. Nice work.

:) yeah, I actually wrote it, I've been battling a cold for the past couple of days and was unable to attend school. This is the result of absolute boredom and maybe too much cold medicine.

Quoted from Martin Hahahaha! You actually wrote it. The bong says they are needed in the past, around 1974. Surely you mean the future.

Thanks for the read, yeah for a second there I was thinking in terms of my position in time rather than the Founding Fathers.

-Zavier

This was great! Excellent dialogue and a lot of funny references to American history. The conclusion wasn't that satisfying. I'm not much a fan of the whole 'it was just a dream' bit in movies but hey, it's a short. Shorts can get away with stuff feature lengths can't. I really can't think of anything else to say. I mean it's about the founding fathers going on a stoner adventure. Enough said. Good job!

Thanks for the read James.

An alternate ending was written, which had the founding fathers in a car chase with the police through the streets of San Francisco. Maybe this ending would be more satisfying. A Ganja induced dream or a violent car chase?

-Zavier

Violent car chase. You could even do both if you wanted to. At least with the car chase, the Ganja induced dream wouldn't seem so sudden.

Hey Nixon -- I was drawn to this one immediately -- even before Andrew's SS story.

And I don't care where this came from, I say it is still one hell of a logline.

Yeah..."cold medicine", he says...that must be it...

[SPOILERS]

*  This comment may sound rediculous in any other context, but you need to describe the bong's voice, I think.  Personally, I was hearing Mr. Hanky, from South Park.
*  The bit about the money was kind of funny.  I think you could have had Washington see Franklin on the 100 -- and himself on the 1 -- and be like, "What the f*ck?"
*  You and your firearms....does it always have to go there?

So, I have never read anything quite like it, and I enjoyed it a great deal.  I can't believe I am saying this, but this is one that definitely has some room for expansion.  I would love to see more of these guys -- there is so much they could say about what has happened with America since their time -- and given their slightly skewed perceptions, it could really be comic gold.

I am glad you took this idea through.  Really nice stuff.  I would read a longer one.  

Quoted from James McClung Violent car chase. You could even do both if you wanted to. At least with the car chase, the Ganja induced dream wouldn't seem so sudden.

The ending has been altered and the chase has been added.

Quoted from bert Yeah..."cold medicine", he says...that must be it...

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  ;)

Quoted from bert This comment may sound rediculous in any other context, but you need to describe the bong's voice, I think.  Personally, I was hearing Mr. Hanky, from South Park.

Actually that's who I was hearing in my head, but how do you describe that voice in words?

Quoted from bert You and your firearms....does it always have to go there?

Now that I think about it, you're right. Maybe some day, I've been considering writing a comedy (with no guns).

Quoted from bert I would read a longer one.

The Founding Fathers and Smoky could return, the new ending leaves that option wide open.

Thanks for the read Bert.

-Zavier

When The Founding Fathers had to stop the cops, I didn't really like the way the guns just magically appeared, it was a bit too easy. I've also never heard of red ganja, but I'll take your word for it.
On a positive note, the idea of The Founding Fathers being stoners has potential, and I think the title 'Stoned Patriots" is a good one.  

Thanks for the read Takeshi and sorry for the delayed reply.

Quoted from Takeshi When The Founding Fathers had to stop the cops, I didn't really like the way the guns just magically appeared, it was a bit too easy.

Yeah, maybe I used the magical bongs powers too freely. Maybe I should add some limit to the Bongs powers.

Quoted from Takeshi I've also never heard of red ganja, but I'll take your word for it.

Yeah, its real. It is also know as "Red Devil"

Thanks again for the read. Hopefully the revision will be posted with the next batch of scripts.

-Zavier

The new version is up with the alternate ending, car chase and all.

-Zavier

Sweet! This ending is much better. You understand you have to make a "Stoned Patriots in Woodstock" now, don't you? Just kidding. It's your call. Good job on this one in any case.

Quoted from James McClung You understand you have to make a "Stone Patriots in Woodstock" now, don't you? Just kidding. It's your call. Good job on this one in any case.

Maybe in my spare time, which is usually none existent. I don’t even really have a solid idea. Maybe the Founding Father have to save Woodstock from evil corporate sponsors. But anyway glade you like the new ending.

-Zavier

This is so clever and downright nutty.  I really like it.

I know you don't intend to devote a lot of time to such a silly project, but you really can't end this as you have it -- not with so much left to tell.

What happens when they hear Hendrix play our National Anthem?

Thanks Bert

I actually got a great idea last night; it involves The Who and their fight with greedy promoters. The Founding Fathers have to step in and save the day so that The Who can go on stage, blow away the audience and help established The Who as superstars.

Some side stories would include Franklin trying heroin, the founding fathers getting into a fist fight with the Grateful Dead, and Washington defending his honor in a guitar-battle with Carlos Santana.

Update: Most of these ideas have been abandoned for SP2: American Haze, although a few ideas are still there.

But then there is the problem of me not having any free time. Maybe I should put this one in the Collaborative Effort board.

-Zavier

I just submitted another revision of the first Stoned Patriots. Some mistakes were corrected and some new lines were also added. I kind of took Bert's idea and ran with it.

Quoted from bert *  The bit about the money was kind of funny.  I think you could have had Washington see Franklin on the 100 -- and himself on the 1 -- and be like, "What the f*ck?"

-Zavier

I just read this. Hilarious. I loved how you managed to make our forefathers speak in a manner apropriate to their time and when they're lighting up just like any group of friends would. A very funny stoner script.

I would love to see a sequel to this.
Perhaps the founding fathers go to congress to legalize marijuana? Just an idea.

All i can say is WOW! I loved it! Had me falling out of my seat laughing.

I kept imagining "Jay and Silent Bob".

---kotton

Thanks for the read guys. I am glade you guys liked it.

Quoted from thegardenstate89 I would love to see a sequel to this.

Actually a sequel is already on the way. Wesley and myself have been working on SP2: American Haze

-Zavier  :)

Whoa that was fast. Thanks to Don for getting the revision up so fast.

-Zavier  :)

Hello!

I read this script, and it was great. Here's why:

*SPOILERS*

The characters were well done. Their dialouge was fantastic, correct - and quirky! Some of the speech was brilliantly done - and lots of it made me laugh.

The story was weird - but great! It was nicely done - and well planned me thinks. Each thing is put together neatly - and there weren't any loose ends that you needed to tie up at the end.

Patriots on drugs? Never heard of it - until Nixon created it. And thank-god he did! :)

Every characters lines are snappy and funny. My favourite character would have to be the talking, magical bong. I really didn't expect it to start talking! That was the greatest part for me.

Also the car scene, it was really funny. "Not that break!" - I love the way the Bong just randomly decides to begin talking.

I noticed only once tiny error. It was a form of there, their, and they're. I believe you used their, but it should've been 'there'. Anyway, who cares about that! It was a great script - detailed wonderfully and efficiently.

Great job!

Curse!

Thanks for the review Curse, Im glad you enjoyed it.

-Zavier

I can't stop laughing dude. This is some of the funniest stuff I have read in my entire life. It appears you have a sequel coming out soon. Awesome dude. This is the funniest script I have read so far.

For a small review since I'm not the guy who reviews page for page.

Dialogue flows great, the action is great, and it is funny. No spelling or grammar errors that I can see in plain view. Nice work you have here. Can't wait for the next part to this silly story.

Thanks for the read, glade you liked it.

Quoted from James Fields It appears you have a sequel coming out soon. Awesome dude. This is the funniest script I have read so far.

Yeah, there is a sequel on the way. It should be done relatively soon. Thanks again for the read.

-Zavier  

Anytime. Do you have any other scripts here on the site?

Yeah, there is one in the Westerns. That board could always use a few more post. It's called Random Pain. It was an entry for the One Week Writing Exercise Thing back in January. Do you have anything up yet, that I could look at?

-Zavier  

Not yet, but I've got a feature length coming sometime during the summer. Here's the thread...

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1148078180/

You can read about it if you want.

without a doubt one of, if not the best shorts I've read yet!

a great story and a cool band name I might add.

I can't begin to tell you how many times my bong, uh, nevermind.... :X

anyway loved the script and I hope to see the second installment soon!

brion

Thanks Brion, I'm glade you enjoyed it.  :)

Quoted from darthbrion I hope to see the second installment soon! brion

The second installment has been submitted, so it should be up with the next batch of scripts.

-Zavier

This was a quick and easy little read. The subject matter isn't exactly my type of film, but I figured I'd check it out just to check it out.

Once American Haze comes out I'll check it out. Hopefully it'll be as easy a read as this was. You did a great job.

Dialogue was pretty good. Characters, for as short of a script this was, were pretty well developed, and overall it was pretty funny.

Good job and good luck on future writing!

-Chris

Thanks for the read Rapture, even though that this isn't exactly your favorite genre (stoner movies). I'm glade you liked it and hope you enjoy American Haze as well.

-Zavier  

My thanks go out to Don for getting the script up. If you enjoyed the first one, then you’ll love the second one. And for those who haven’t read the first, what the hell is wrong with you? ;)

-Zavier

I will read it. Some higher power told me too and I obey authority...........occasionally.

Very seldom do I read about a WIP and actually anticipate its arrival, waiting and waiting for its release.  This was one of them, though, particularly given the interesting team of authors behind it.  These collaborative efforts are some of my favorite things to read, and this one does not disappoint.

It's clever and unique and sometimes a bit lewd and very, very funny, with several laugh out loud moments (my favorites occurred in the rehab clinic).

The scope of this story is much broader than I expected, and the large cast of characters is one pleasant surprise after another.  The tone is somewhat reminiscent of "Team America", and parts of it are every bit as funny as that film if you ask me.

By way of nitpicks, I might point out that it starts a bit abruptly, and I have to break it to you guys that Ecstasy was not around in the days of Garcia and Hendrix -- an easy fix if you change it to LSD.  And I would have liked a little MUSIC while we were at Woodstock.  Hello?  How can you set a piece at Woodstock and not lay a few tunes on us??

But minor complaints aside, you guys blended seamlessly on this one -- although there were several spots where one or the other of you were pretty easy to spot for those familiar with your works.  A very enjoyable piece, guys -- reading this was time well spent.



And SP3...?

Oh yes. Yes it is. Stoned Patriots 2. American Haze..

After reading this I long for a full fledged feature even more.

You two definately took the adventures of the four fathers up a level. The Kim Jong Il thing did remind me quite a bit of Team America, particularly your description of the palace. No problem wiht that though.

I loved the Oval Office scene and the scenes with Bush and Clinton. It was the kind of humor geared at a president I could see a Bush supporter finding some amusement in....well maybe.
One thing I would say is to focus on the relationship between the four father characters more. I found the first was heavey on it and some of it's best laughs came from it. Such as when all the other 3 fathers pick Franklin to get tortured first.

This script was so wacky and out of this world I could see it being produced in the 80s. Better have smokey do that for you guys.



Good luck with the inevitable 3rd stoned patriots. I'll be waiting for it. And I would love to see your talents go into a feature for this.

Thanks for the comments so far; I'll reply to each review in depth later or Wesley could, whenever he has a chance. Unfortunately, my English paper entitled "The Dissection of Ndebele Music through Critical Analysis" is due tomorrow morning. Back to work. :(

-Zavier  

First off, NiXon should have first bill as he is the creator and I am just a guest in his kitchen.

Bert, so you noticed that wink? I use that, smiles and a few other things a lot. Force of habit I guess. NiXon can tell you about Woodstock if he's got more to say than heh.

I don't think WE (NiXon and I) would ever be able to pull off a feature length screenplay, not because we hate each other or anything but because neither of us have the time right now to put the effort into a huge project. (Also, our other works kind of get in the way.)

Maybe some day he will do it and if I am wanted I'll be there.

I am to blame for bringing in Chris Tucker. Rush Hour was a good franchise until Chris Tucker got dialogue. (Believe it or not that whole scene was a spur of the moment thing when I  seen a preview for Fifth Element.)

I enjoy working with and writing for other people, it is a bonus when the other writer has a similar sense of humour and writes a series.

Quoted from tomson I will read it. Some higher power told me too and I obey authority...........occasionally.

That would be appreciated and thanks to the higher power.

Quoted from bert The tone is somewhat reminiscent of "Team America", and parts of it are every bit as funny as that film if you ask me.

There are a few similarities, but that wasn't really our intention, I think people will see Kim Jong Ill and then think "Team America".

Quoted from bert By way of nitpicks, I might point out that it starts a bit abruptly, and I have to break it to you guys that Ecstasy was not around in the days of Garcia and Hendrix -- an easy fix if you change it to LSD.

That will be in the first revision.

Quoted from bert And I would have liked a little MUSIC while we were at Woodstock.  Hello?  How can you set a piece at Woodstock and not lay a few tunes on us??

There were a few scenes that didn’t make it in, which revolved around the music aspect of Woodstock. The scenes seemed kind of useless at the time and made the Woodstock scenes seem to drag on, so they were left out. They might be cleaned up and appear in the revision.

Quoted from bert And SP3...?

In the works, maybe even this summer but a trip to back Iraqhas to come first.

Quoted from thegardenstate89 It was the kind of humor geared at a president I could see a Bush supporter finding some amusement in....well maybe.

This wasn’t meant to offend Republicans (or Democrats). I hope it didn't. Both Bush and Clinton got their equal share of gabs.

Quoted from James Fields Alright, I'm ready to read and review this baby!

I look forward to your review. :)

Quoted from James McClung I'll check this out at some point tomorrow. I've been waiting for this for quite some time. Glad to see it's finally up.

Sounds good, I'm glade to see people were actually looking forward to this.

Quoted from Old Time Wesley Maybe some day he will do it and if I am wanted I'll be there.

I'll hold you to that. :)

Quoted from Old Time Wesley I am to blame for bringing in Chris Tucker. Rush Hour was a good franchise until Chris Tucker got dialogue. (Believe it or not that whole scene was a spur of the moment thing when I seen a preview for Fifth Element.)

My favorite part, so random.


I think that is everyone. Thanks again for the reads so far.

-Zavier

SPOILERS...

This was great! Even better than I expected. I loved the first encounter with Bush and Clinton and the Chris Tucker bit was hillarious as well. And the Smokey/Harry battle was fantastic too. It reminded me of Harry Potter, except here it's Harry Heroin. Didn't see Bin Laden coming. Nice twist.

Very few problems here. The only one that really ticked me off a bit was how willingly the Patriots did the HALO jump. I mean, they're probably pissing their pants just to be more than two stories off the ground, let alone the fact they're all trapped in a gigantic metal contraption that makes a lot of noise and moves faster than a horse. This, I think, needs to be fixed. I'm sure you could make something great out of this.

Good job, guys. I really enjoyed it.

I had no idea what this was going to be about, since I’ve never read any of your stuff before NiXon. I’ve read some of Wesley’s stuff so I had an inkling of what it might be, add to that the absolutely fabulous title, I love it, and it turns out I was right and wrong.

I was right because it was funny and whacky, but wrong because this one was all over the place. I mean that in a very complimentary way. How many people can come up with a story that goes from Woodstock to Osama Bin Laden and it seems plausible.

I agree with Bert about the blaring absence of music and from what I’ve heard there were also a lot of wine drinking, Boone’s Farm for example not just drugs. I think it was also pretty messy and dirty, maybe just add a few things like these to give it a more authentic feel of Woodstock itself.  

At the Oval Office I was thinking “okay, so this is going to be a Bush bashing story”, but I was wrong. No one was spared, everyone was made fun of! I especially liked the Bush, Clinton part. They were great together.

Kim Jong Il being gay? You know, I actually buy that! That was a great touch. You could’ve done even a little more on him, his hair, how he loves himself and has his picture plastered all over that country, not to mention his belief (and telling his citizens) that he is one of the best movie directors in the world and that he is praised for his movies by the rest of the world as well.

In the Hercules, you may want to mention them actually wearing their oxygen masks, including Bell. At 30 000ft there ain’t a lot of oxygen and it’s cold as hell….you know what I mean.

On page 32, Clinton says “I sold some nuclear secrets to the janitor” that was priceless in my opinion, haha.

I like how you dissed France at the end.

There were a few typos here and there, but they were so minor that, who cares?

Great Job!

8)

Quoted from James McClung The only one that really ticked me off a bit was how willingly the Patriots did the HALO jump. I mean, they're probably pissing their pants just to be more than two stories off the ground, let alone the fact they're all trapped in a gigantic metal contraption that makes a lot of noise and moves faster than a horse. This, I think, needs to be fixed. I'm sure you could make something great out of this.

The whole plane scene was kind of required since the time restrictions the characters were on to stop the missile. The revision will have them reacting to the plane in more realistic manner. Oh and sorry for taking so to reply to your review, the script got buried quickly and this is the first time I've noticed it.

And Pia I'm glade you enjoyed it.

Quoted from tomson . In the Hercules, you may want to mention them actually wearing their oxygen masks, including Bell. At 30 000ft there ain’t a lot of oxygen and it’s cold as hell….you know what I mean.

I'll clear this up in the revision along with what James pointed out.

Quoted from tomson I like how you dissed France at the end.

In my opinion, every script has to take at least one jab at France.  ;)

Thanks again.

-Zavier

very funny stuff :D

I haven't smoked pot for over a year, so I'm not really into it, but I think I know how you spend your weekends :o

I found one mistake on page six, you have Hamilton say "this people"  I think you ment "these people"

I think it would have been funnier if the "four fathers" freaked out a little more when they transported into the vehichle with Donny the hippie.

I loved the whole $100 bill and $1 bill conversation, I always wondered that myself.

How come there is no mention of BC bud in this? >:(

all in all in this was a funny, goofy, script that gave me a lot of giggles, not really any huge laughs but I smiled through the whole thing.

I will read part 2 next

Good job :D

Thanks for the read, glad you enjoyed it.

Quoted from The boy who could fly very funny stuff :D I loved the whole $100 bill and $1 bill conversation, I always wondered that myself.

I have to give credit to Bert, that was his idea.

-Zavier

ps: You never mentioned what you want Wesley and me to read, this was a review exchange after all.  :)

just finished this one.

This was one of the few times where the sequel is better than the original, there is some very funny stuff here.

I liked the woodstock opening, but I don't think they did X back then, probably LSD, I ain't 100% sure but I think so.

I did wish we saw more of the hippies at the beggining, I think it rushes a bit, there caould have been a lot of opportunities with the founding fathers at woodstock.

The fight with Jerry Garcia was very funny :D

The George bush/Cheny/Rumsfield bit was a hoot, for some reason I could really see that happening.

What I liked the most in this script is actually the Bush/Clinton sub plot, I thought that part was strong enough on it's own and could be it's own story.  

Clinton addicted to fat chicks HA :D  very nice

The scene with Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Brett Ratner, and Micheal Jackson was quite funny, but I think if you had Tucker not shut up until he gets shot, that maybe would have been funnier, just have him go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on, then BANG, just an Idea.

Page 37 was the biggest laugh for me, I mean the whole page :D

I liked the France bit, that gave me a giggle or two.

This kind of ended like POTC2, so I am looking forward to the next one.

If I have a major compaint it's that the founding fathers aren't as interesting as the supporting characters around them(which is the case in a lot of movies)  They all have funny moments, but I really couldn't tell them apart, except for maybe Franklin.

All in all this was a very funny script with a lot of big laughs.  Good work :)

PS: Like the first one, why is there no mention of BC bud >:(

Quoted Text The scene with Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Brett Ratner, and Micheal Jackson was quite funny, but I think if you had Tucker not shut up until he gets shot, that maybe would have been funnier, just have him go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on, then BANG, just an Idea.

If you read my Rush Hour 3 comments you'll understand this more. NiXon added Jackie Chan and I went too far with MJ, Chris Tucker and Brett Rattner.

To be honest I might start killing Chris Tucker in every parody I do from now on to make up for the movies he's made and we had to watch. We all liked Fifth Element but his character... come on, that is an insult to actors. He makes Charlie Sheen look like a star and that is really hard to do.

Will Chris Tucker return in the sequel? I hope NiXon will kill him one more time for me ha-ha

Anyway thanks for the review man, like NiXon said in the other thread did you have anything for us to read? It was for the review exchange and I do have some extra free time.

The thing is, we know Bush, Cheney, Clinton and those guys more so it is easier to understand them. As far as Founding Fathers go I added in some quotes from the real ones which were taken out because they seemed forced.

Maybe using that many characters is in and of itself a harder feat to accomplish total character.

Hey Guys,

Reading both of them, but I figured I'd post everything in here since the 12 pages of part one go right into this and it's pretty much one story.  Speaking of that, is there a plan to combine the two and make a 60 pager?  The first one ends at kind of an awkward place in terms of a series.

I really liked the dollar and hundred dollar bill part, as well as them fighting over the Cambodian Red.

I agree on the Ecstasy at Woodstock thing.  It should definitely be LSD.  I wouldn't mind someone running around yelling "Stay away from the brown acid!" either.

How do they know who Jerry Garcia is?

Darth Devil - hahaha

A ha, we're starting to get into the villain are now.

Ok, Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker were alright, but Michael Jackson?

I'm laughing at these bit chracter names.  Black, White, Tall, Fat, Bum.  Bum?  Hey!  Waitaminute!  :)

A Little side note regarding the air duct escape.  If you check out John August's webpage, he has an entire spiel of why he hates that means of escape/spying, etc.  Pretty funny stuff.

Is Changang supposed to be Chaingang?  They're all spelled the first way, but I'm just curious.

And, I'm done.  I definitely like the way the story is flowing.  You've got a nice mix of action comedy, and even a little bit of horror in there, but again, this is definitely left open for another part, and has me thinking that this would be better suited as a feature with all of the pieces combined into one.

I can see why you've gotten some Team America references, but I think this is different enough.

Nice work, and I'm looking forward to the next one.

Quoted from Old Time Wesley Anyway thanks for the review man, like NiXon said in the other thread did you have anything for us to read? It was for the review exchange and I do have some extra free time.

anything in my sig would be fine, I think underneath is the one I would like the most help on, but whatever you decide is fine with me

NiXon,

I think the title is about as good as a title can get, I love it. I love the whole concept of meshing the Forefathers and modern day dilemmas and lifestyles.

How do you come up with crazy stuff like this?........... Okay, maybe that was a dumb question. Disregard please.

Your writing reminds me quite a bit of Wesley's craziness. (Have you read The Juicer?) Maybe that�s why your collaboration on SP:2 worked so well. You two should do a third installment.

I liked the $ bill thing, maybe you could expand that to include the others. I have no doubt that you could come up with some crazy conversation about their different denominations.

Pg 5,  His cloths colorful - I think you meant clothes
Pg 6,  help this people - these people
Pg 10, they wonder what the Dodge is and call it a horseless carriage. This seemed a little odd to me since they've already seen the police cruisers and a helicopter even.

All in all, this was a very cool little short.
I really would like to see a third one.
8) ;D

I feel really cheap for telling you I'd review it. I never did post the review I guess. Sorry if this isn't as long as you'd hoped for, but here it goes.

Script- The script was written well, the formatting was spot-on, almost perfect in my eyes. It wasn't too long, and wasn't to short for a short script.

Characters- The title says all. Stoned Patriots. I can't count how many times I laughed while reading this viciously funny script. Your characters were so real, or at least they felt that way. Their dialogue was so clueless. I liked that.

Visual- I saw every event take place. That earns a high score with me.

Story- The story is the core to a script, and your story was just as great. You really followed up your first one with a big bang, and when I say big... I mean BIG

Good job, and I'm hoping that you write more comedies in the future.

-James

5/5

Thanks for the review Pia, it's really appreciated.

Quoted from tomson Your writing reminds me quite a bit of Wesley's craziness. (Have you read The Juicer?)

Not yet, is it even up on the site yet?

Quoted from tomson I really would like to see a third one.

I've written down a few ideas for the third (and final) installment. Wesley has also chimed in with a few ideas. There's no doubt that it will eventually be made and chances are it will be a feature.

Once again, thanks for the review. Those mistakes you mentioned will be corrected during the next revision, which will also combine the original short and the sequel into one screenplay.

-Zavier  :)

EDIT:

Quoted from James Fields I feel really cheap for telling you I'd review it. I never did post the review I guess. Sorry if this isn't as long as you'd hoped for, but here it goes.

No worries, your review is appreciated.

-Zavier

This was a weird script, Almost like Bill and Ted's excelent adventures. Stoner forfathers? What will they think of next. lol

Good format, and good use of character. This one was good. I laughed my ass off.

The whole charger thing was messed up, I like the part when he released the parking brake. Nice one

Dan

Sorry Mike for the delayed response, the other thread got locked and buried.

Quoted from Shelton Speaking of that, is there a plan to combine the two and make a 60 pager?  The first one ends at kind of an awkward place in terms of a series.

Yeah, the revision will have both stories combined and a new scene connecting them together. After the merge, there will no longer just an original or just an American Haze, so we've decided to title it "Stoned Patriots: Redux".

Quoted from Shelton Is Changang supposed to be Chaingang?  They're all spelled the first way, but I'm just curious.

Changang is the name of a North Korean Genreral in real-life, I just decided to use his name since it sounded so badass.

Anyway, glad you enjoyed them and thanks for the review.

Quoted from Daniel_Robinson Stoner forfathers? What will they think of next.

Next? Teenage Superheroes, who have the ability to shit out rivers of skittles. Anyway, thanks for the read, glad you enjoyed it.

-Zavier

Carried to new thread:

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1153790943/