Twisted by Daniel Robinson - Drama, Thriller - A young boy loses his girlfriend and kills his best friend. He sets up his ex and now she's in jail. but he falls in love with an unexspected girl and comes clean about everything he has done. 87 pages - pdf, format 8)

I'm trying to review a bit of this at a time.  

POSSIBLE SPOILERS (if telling key elements of the plot "spoil" anything for you)

Ok, I found that having the title heading appear for the film fine and all, but you should take out "by Daniel Robinson" because it felt a bit arrogant to me.  We know you wrote it.  

On page 5 you have some Cut To:'s (which not many are a fan of) and when you do those they only cut to scene heading devoid of description.  I'm quite sure all scene headings require description, regardless of how little.

On page 13, which I give you props for placing the catalyst there, we find that Mike is definitely beating Rick to death - with a skateboard.  I kind of laughed about that.  I think you could take that scene a lot further.  Maybe they fight and someone gets something more appropriate - like a rock.  But alas, the VO by Michelle and Shelly whilst Mike drags Ricks body and bury's him was a nice touch.

I'm reviewing this as I read it.  I've realized I haven't caught any typos.  Props.  You've got a we see on page 15, which is fine and all, just don't use it ever again.

On page 17, at the party, when you say "Camera focuses on Michelle & Shelly"  this line is just as effective without the "camera" part and seems more professional - just say focus on.

On 19 I found it pretty crazy that Mike would just show Shelly the body like that - and then raping her?  He's pretty crazy, this guy.  But I loved the swift kick in the balls, that was classic.

From 22 to 24  I think the police men should have actual names.  Or at least something more than just Police Man 1 and 2.  

Woe.  When I came to 25 I had to go back and read the begining because I was kind of confused.  Now things are more interesting.  I have a problem though.  The dialogue between Mike and Rick is a little too casual for me.  If I were Rick, recently hit over the head many many times with a skateboard by this guy, regardless of him being my friend, I'd be pretty pissed.  At least more than Rick seems in this scene.

And then we reach a plot point on page 31.  Good use of structure.  I'll review the rest later.  I do just think you need to take out the Cut To:'s and maybe enhance the dialogue in some scenes, like in 25.

Thanks for the comments. I was going for something different and I wrote this in 24 hours. Not to bad if i say so my self.

Be on the look out for Die Cut, action.

Dan