Judgement Area 51 by Daniel Robinson - Short, Sci Fi - What if the world found out a terrible secret? Well when Tony a military specialist from Area 51 finds out that everyone on earth is an alien from some othe planet he doesn't know what to do. He hears the truth from Bryan an older military guy that has been in area 51 for a long time, about the world ending and how it all started. Based on a few truthful facts from Area 51. 6 pages - pdf, format 8)

I read this because no one else has. Not sure if the authors around, probably not but I had a little spare time so...

There may be SPOILERS ahead...

The story, I'm slightly confused about all this. A conversation between two guys about where mankind came from... different planets, you say?

There was a part where the dialogue made no sense "anything under water didn't make it. When the aliens came above the water..." I think it's just a little mistake there but you've said two different things there I think.

There are other little mistakes like spelling but I don't really mind that.

Back to the story again... where did Tony come from? Did he stumble across Area 51 because he doesn't know anything? And when he is told all of this, there really isn't any emotion at all from him apart from the end when he's told the world's going to end.

I think I get that Tony must be an alien himself or something and the government have caught him and took him to Area 51 where everything's explained to him. It might be just me but there really needs to be a little more explanation of the characters and why they're there. Everything else is okay. The formatting is fine, sort of. It's the dialogue that's not so good aswell. Try and expain Tony more. I didn't get it at first but you might have something if you give it rewrite with more detail :).

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Yeah, I didn't get a chance to do a re-read of this short before I sent it.

Tony is a new recruit through the Military and he was placed at Area 51.  I'm going to add that in so people don't get so confused.

I'm working on a re-write of this script so as soon as I get it done I'll post it on here.

Thanks again,
Dan

I liked your story. It plays with many themes I've been reading to for so many years. But I must say it's a bit confused. Over the two voices, descriptions are missing. You're too elusive. As well, I found the end too abrupt. Why an upcoming judgement?

Waiting for the re-writing


Michel

Thanks for the comments!  The re-write will be coming soon it will be called "The Secrect of Area 51"  So once it gets posted all questions will be answered.
Thanks again,
Dan