Takashi & Friends by Steven Cameron (Wesley) - Short, Anime, Adventure, Mini Series - Takashi, the greatest animated ninja has branched out into a syndicated talk show. This is a detailed retelling of those adventures. Beware. The series also has a healthy cast of regulars in Elmo, Yoda, Darth Vader and a few other special guests. 25 pages - pdf, format 8)

Steven ... err ... I like to call you Wesley.

Wesley.  After reading this script in its entirety, I almost feel compelled to apologise to you ... for both the "better series" and the Walters oversight.  However, the walters was run by votes and you just didn't get enough of them, and the "better series" was just better.  So I can't apologise, but I do sympathise.  History couldn't have went any differently.  This was nostalgic to read, and I liked it a lot.  

Reference are a funny thing. I really enjoy using them but I never write anything that calls for a lot of them anymore.

Alan, it actually could have been avoided but it was about three months later that Don created the series board which means it would have and did have a better chance when I reposted it.

Ultimately, the series failed because Takashi, to put it frankly was a bitch. People don't want to read a series about ninja's if the main character cries a lot. They want raw action with a strong story behind it. I think the core story was flaud and not very thought out (My bad) and the action when I had it was enough to fill that need.

As my own worst critic that about sums up my experience on that. I can go more in depth about the real reasons why both my series failed but nobody wants to hear that kind of stuff.

SPOILERS








Hey Wes,

I started reading this and almost quit on the first page cos I'm not into the Star Wars stuff, but I'm so glad I didn't.  It was hilarious. Had me laughing out loud, and I think it got better with every page, too.

Who would have ever thought that these characters would be put together into a screenplay, and work out really well?  ;D

Loved the Beavis and Butthead inclusion. You did an excellent job with them.
Those little guys crack me up.

This was a good read with my morning coffee.

Cindy






  

Quoted from Old Time Wesley People don't want to read a series about ninja's if the main character cries a lot.

In North America, most of the general public puts up defense mechanisms such as making stupid jokes when a character touches upon ANY sensitivity -- and that's because the North American general public prefers to shrug off their problems, run away from their problems, get argumentative, et cetera.  The North American general public are emotionally fragile people who prefer to be fake.  You can deal with emotions, sensitivities, realities, and profound thought, only on the final episode when the series is ending and people expect an emotional punch.  Don't you wish you were born and raised in Japan?

Wesley, I'm trying to read this. But every time a click on it, a pop up arises saying that my security settings will not allow this download. I will see if I can fix this and review your script within a week.

I'm not sure what to make of this, Wes. I liked it but I felt like I was missing something. Maybe there are a few references I just didn't get.

I got a kick out of Yoda and Elmo. They're an interesting combination. I loved the Mortal Kombat fight at the end and George Lucas appearing out of the blue. The line about making sub par movies in a universe he doesn't understand made me chuckle. I also liked your reference to your other series (Better Days?) and the line about the creator coming back to them whenever he hits a roadblock.

It was pretty funny in places, but I have no idea who Takashi is. A character from The Ninja's Curse? I've never read it so I think I missed a few things along the way.

Overall, it's well written and it made me chuckle.

Takashi is the Carson Daly of Online Series.

I seem to have that problem with the two shorts I released recently. The Ninja's Curse Reborn had a similar problem (George mentioned it, I believe) that he missed a few things because I wrote it as a new beginning to my series with very little character building.

These are not just slapped together because this mini series has been released for at least a year now but it seems that I write my characters so easily that I do not realize you guys will not know who they are as well.

Do you see an easy fix to show who Takashi is to you or is this kind of like one of those situations where people are going to read it and focus more on the characters they know and just say "Who is Takashi" everytime?

It's one of those situations where you think you should know the character because of all the other well-known characters that appear. You have this celebrity death match vibe going on, but one of the celebrities is from an online series so I guess that's what creates the confusion.

I don't see an easy fix other than me reading your series and getting to know the character :)

By the way, 'Chris Tucker Must Die' sounds like fun, but Mr. Bean in the running for worst actor alive??? I hate Mr. Bean and most of Rowan Atkinson's hollywood roles are just weak stereotypes, but he's a good actor given the right material. Watch Blackadder and tell me I'm wrong!

I hope Hasselhoff gets his ass handed to him on a plate.

Fun if not totally bizarre story  ;D

* SPOILERS *

* The whole merging of different universes was a great idea and I enjoyed the mental image of Yoda and Elmo trading barbs.

* I have to agree...George Lucas has become nothing more than a pimp to his Star Wars movies.  Damn you George.

* Bevis & Butthead lol talk about taking a trip down memory lane.

* Overall a hilarious short that I totally dug.

Rock on manz.

Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are pretty bad actors. I kind of enjoyed Mr. Bean because it was all I could watch back when we had no cable.

Johnny English did go too far in the "Man, they will make anything these days" category but without Rowan it would have been so much worse.

I already killed Chris Tucker in Stoned Patriots 2 and in Redux as well because he annoys me. Originally "Chris Tucker Must Die" was a documentary showing how many ways I would love to kill him but I started feeling like people would start wondering if I might actually do it.

Anyway, Takashi and his failed series is and will always be my favorite held high above everything else I write. I spent a long time writing the action sequence in episode 4 and nobody ever mentioned it when reading the series which really ticked me off because I put my heart and soul in that series.

I wish it would have caught on even for a week but the only reads I ever got were off site.

(Thanks Darth for the read. Like the song says "George Lucas raped our childhood")

Hello, Steven. This review is regarding 'Takeshi and Friends'

Okay, your script was sadistic, immature, crude, and I like that kind of stuff in a script. I really like this kind of dark humor. Your characters are all really well done as far as I'm concerned. Dialogue flows, lot's of random comments from Elmo, etc.

STORMTROOPER

I tried out for Trooper Clerks but I was turned away, they said I was too white

That line is funny every time you read it, over and over again, it still is funny to me. I am easilly amused, but this just makes me laugh every time I read the line. Brilliant.

In a nutshell, your script was pretty brilliant. The concept of it isn't, but just the way it plays out. If you know what I mean? I've thought of similar ideas, but not with something like Takeshi.

I, like Martin, felt something was missing though. Even though I really enjoyed your script.

Thank you for a good read.

-Yoda

That should be my new motto on my writing... Sadistic, Immature and Crude.

Quoted Text TAKASHI Gender: Masculine Usage: Japanese Means "eminence" in Japanese.

I enjoy writing this kind of stuff. It may not be the most original story ideas but where you can go and branch off is what makes it unique.

Thanks for the read and if I can return the favor just send me a PM.

Hey Wes,

This was a good read.  Like someone or other said, it's not the concept that's brilliant but the way it plays out.  It has that odd and frankly indescribable humour that you usually have, which in this case helps a lot.  The parodies are perfect, not overdone at all, and the amount of material from each character is good too.

To me, what would seem to be missing is a secondary conflict.  This is obviously heavy on humour and light on plot but I think I'd still like to see some tiny character drama with Takashi.  Not that he need cry, god forbid hahah, but maybe just some tiny moment of anguish when he finds out he's been betrayed by Yoda or something.  At times the script almost felt too unfettered and I think something like that would help bring it down to a more reasonable level.

All in all though, this was first and foremost quite funny, so yeah.  I liked it alot.

Hey Wes, I liked this! I'm not very good at writing reviews, so I'm just gonna say what I didn't like and what I did like.

*SPOILERS*

Firts, the bad. I didn't like how Yoda turned out to be bad. It would have been funny if Elmo turned out to be Vaders partner. Which brings me to my next qualm, Elmo's death was a little too random.

Now, the good. Everything else! I was constantly laugh aloud while I was reading this. Great job!

8 out of 10

Zack

Quoted from Zack H It would have been funny if Elmo turned out to be Vaders partner.

That's a good point actually.  I agree.

Or even if somehow Elmo helped Takashi. I will have to read over the original draft and see what kind of changes I can make.

As always thanks Heretic (If you want me to read something, drop me a PM) and Zack, I'll try to read them by the end of this weekend as my PC keeps turning itself off. Then my external hard drive died haha now I'm just having problem after problem.

Anyway I always have my laptop.

No rush. Just do it when you get a chance.

Zack

Hey Wes,

I had a little trouble getting into this because I’m not a fan of Beavis and Butthead or Star Wars.  In fact I've never seen any of the Star Wars movies that Yoda was in. However, thanks to my two young sons, I am familiar with the works of Elmo. Lol.

What I liked about this script was that it was professionally done, but it didn't take it self too seriously. I thought the Michael Jackson stuff was pretty funny, especially the Man puppet line, and perhaps Michael had a point, after all Elmo said he liked it in the bum earlier in the piece. Lol.

I also enjoyed the George Lucas scene and thought Takashi's lines to him, after deciding not to kill him, were the best in the script.

You obviously had a lot of fun writing this one and it came through in the writing.