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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Series  /  Independant Living
Posted by: Don, October 1st, 2006, 2:39pm
Independant Living Season One Episode One "One Our Own" by Aaron Bielert - Series, Comedy - Aaron, Amber & Jack all move into an apartment together before starting college, but on their way to the first day of college, they find themselves in trouble. They all find living together is hard when Amber's sister Christine moves in and everything changes from what it was going to be. Hopefully, people will enjoy this show. I'd like it to be going a long time, like Friends or Will & Grace.  30 pages - pdf, format 8)

Independant Living Season One Episode Two "The Past" (Part One Of Two) by Aaron Bielert - Series, Comedy - Aaron's old friend Stacy Werwig shows up when Amber goes away for the week and everything that can go wrong does go wrong.Veronica tries to make right in her life when her boyfriend kicks her out and she moves in with Ryan & Dan. Aaron agrees to help his classmate Sarah. 25 pages - pdf, format 8)

Independant Living 1 x 03 "The Aftermath" (Part Two Of Two) by Aaron Bielert - Series, Comedy - After Stacy's visit, Amber must now decide between taking an internship in San Diegos she was offered or staying in a relationship with Aaron. Ryan & Dan try to impress Veronica after being scared she might leave.  26 pages - pdf, format 8)

Independant Living 1 x 04 "Roadtrip Roommate" by Aaron Bielert - Series, Comedy - Stacy returns one last time to take Aaron to the beach, but it's more of a good-bye for her as she tells Aaron she is leaving. Jack & Christine have Sarah move in to take Amber's room, as she has nowhere else to go. Veronica, Ryan & Dan try to work at being better roommates. 24 pages - pdf, format 8)

Independant Living 1 x 05 "Amber Returns" by Aaron Bielert - Series, Comedy - Aaron & Christine win a trip to Niagra Falls on a radio station contest, but when they get there, things aren't what they thought it would be. The hotel room only has one bed and that does not go well between either one of the two of them. Melissa asks Jack to help her learn more about Aaron. 26 pages - pdf, format 8)

Independant Living 1 x 06 "Oh Canada" by Aaron Bielert - Series, Comedy - Aaron & Christine win a trip to Niagra Falls on a radio station contest, but when they get there, things aren't what they thought it would be. The hotel room only has one bed and that does not go well between either one of the two of them. Melissa asks Jack to help her learn more about Aaron. 26 pages - pdf, format 8)

Independant Living 1 x 07 "The Dance" by Aaron Bielert & Anne Mac Gillie - Series, Comedy - Christine goes to her homecoming dance with a guy named Jim, but Aaron & Sarah both know that Jim is trouble. They follow her & get ber out of trouble, but Amber doesn't agree with their actions and thinks Christine should move back in with her parents in Cincinatti. Melissa starts to realize how to win Aaron over with Jack's help. 25 pages - pdf, format 8)

Independant Living 1 x 08 "She Loves Me Not" by Aaron Bielert - Series, Comedy - After going out on a date with Melissa, Aaron is teamed up with Amber for a history assignment, but Amber's new feelings for Aaron after seeing him kiss Melissa are not cool ones. Ryan asks Veronica out only weeks after she broke up with her boyfriend, but Dan feels left out after he was going to ask her the same day. Jack asks Sarah out but she tells him she has feelings for someone else. 25 pages - pdf, format 8)

Independant Living 1 x 09 "Female Heat" by Aaron Bielert - Series, Comedy - After Aaron asks Melissa to be his new girlfriend and she says yes, Amber asks Aaron to get back together with him and start over but Aaron doesn't know what to do and then Sarah tells Aaron she has feelings for him. Ryan decides that dating Veronica is not best for his frienship with Dan and asks Jack to take her out in his place. 24 pages - pdf, format 8)

Independant Living 1 x 10 "All I Want for Christmas is a Girlfriend" by Aaron Bielert - Series, Comedy - Aaron must now choose between Sarah, Amber & Melissa before Christmas dinner at his parents' house after Melissa agrees to be his girlfriend and Amber won't want to start over and Sarah has feelings for him. Ryan, Dan & Veronica join Jack & Christine for a Christmas feats but it all goes wrong when no-one knows how to cook the ham they're making. Jack decides to invite both Professor Daniels' over to Christmas dinner as well.  25 pages - pdf, format 8)

Independant Living 1 x 11 "Kingston Lounge" by Aaron Bielert - Series, Comedy - After Sarah gets a job at teh gang's favorite hangout, Jack realizes that he doesn't have much time left with Sarah anymore, so he decides to get a job there also. But when Jack gets a better position than Sarah, will their relationship last? Aaron and Melissa think they should get jobs also. 24 pages - pdf, format 8)

Independant Living 1 x 12 "Meet Jessica" by Aaron Bielert - Series, Comedy - The person in the apartment across the hall moves out, and a new girl moves in by the name of Jessica, but Sarah isn't too happy when she starts making moves on Jack. Ryan and Dan try to settle their differences in the battle to date Veronica.  24 pages - pdf, format 8)

Series continues here: http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1183155317/
Posted by: Alex J. Cooper, October 2nd, 2006, 2:10am; Reply: 1
I've read the first episode and i thought it was bloody alright. It has all the features of a sitcom and many times during my read i could picture a laugh box playing here and there.

My only critisism is in the teaser the whole herpes bit goes a bit over the censore line. Maybe revise this and word it in a more censoreship happy way.

But other than that, this was a very good script. It had all the factor you expect in a sitcom covered (repeating myself). Anyway, I'm yet to read the second one but i will eventually.
Posted by: DOM (Guest), October 6th, 2006, 11:47am; Reply: 2
After reading the two-parter, I was quite dissapointed. Aaron said that he wanted this show to go on for a LONG time. Aaron & Amer seemed like the couple that really had a chance, but by episode 3 they had split up. That just kinda dissapointed me.
Posted by: Aaron Bielert, October 21st, 2006, 3:34pm; Reply: 3
However long of a run, we have at Independent Living, I already kow the outcome of the story and you might be surprised by the final episode come 8, 9 seasons from now or longer, b/c I wrote a outline for up to 10 seasons but could make it longer and I know what I plan on doing, however things could change also, the story writes it self.
Now onto the Aaron and Amber relationship, I felt it was a good way to get the ball rolling on the show, a couple who has been engaged now breaks up showing that when you live on your own, you make your own choices and there is nobody to help you, sometimes not even yourself.
Posted by: TAnthony, November 8th, 2006, 11:18pm; Reply: 4
I just got through with the first episode.

-In the scene heading in the very beginning when it says six months earlier, how will the audience know it’s six months earlier?
-The dates on every page is not needed.
-I don’t really like the first scene. I just didn’t feel like it was a good opener for a series.
-I see what you’re trying to do with Jack, but his character sometimes is a little too ridiculous sometimes.
-I don’t know anything about writing series stuff, but do you need to state the acts?
-The whole situation with Jack and that Veronica chick seems really fake.
-Ryan and Dan are my least fav characters nothing special about them.

I'll get to reading more soon.
Posted by: TAnthony, November 9th, 2006, 9:41pm; Reply: 5
I?m not exactly sure what to say about episode 2, all I can say is that you need to have your characters in more interesting situations. Some of the characters act just a like sometimes and there?s some dialogue that seems very fake at times.

I?m not trying to be rude or any thing, but this episode was very boring. I don?t want to say nothing happened, because things did happen, but just not enough interesting things to hold very many peoples attention.

Dan, Ryan & Veronica?s sub-plot thing was not interesting at all.

This also shares strong resemblances to shows like Friends.

More soon.
Posted by: TAnthony, November 9th, 2006, 10:01pm; Reply: 6
I’ve never heard of someone writing their own bloopers at the end of their script.

The whole brother and sister professor thing doesn’t seem real. The situation just doesn’t seem real.

Dan and Ryan are not different at all. They are the same two people. You really need to work on mixing up your characters personality. You did well with Jack, Veronica, and Christine – but you really need to work on those two guys.

Amber and Aaron break up already. That’s the one relationship you should have kept going for a while.

Jack’s long speech on page 20 is way too long. Just get it down to the essentials. And Jack is starting to act a little too mature than in the previous episodes.
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