Normal Human Beings by Hayden Morphy - Short, Dark Comedy - Two high school boys shoot at unsuspecting people with their airsoft guns after school for fun.  One day, they accidentally knock out a homeless man, thinking they killed him.  The boys take this unconcious man back to one of the boy's home. Good times with normal human beings. 13 pages - doc, format 8)

school kids and their guns (sighs)

* SPOILERS *

* This was written very much like a shooting script, with all your credits, angles and such.  I've alway sheard that unless you actually plan on shooting this yourself then you leave out the camera angle stuff.
* You use a lot of "we see" & "you see" during your story, another no-no from what I've been told.
* Something that really stood out to me was at the very first of the script when the two guys where in the car.  You had them talking to each other -

Example

DAN
(To Casey) Let me ask you something.
             (pause)
Why do we do this?

CASEY
(To Dan) I’ve got a better question. Can you think of anything better to do after school than inflicting pain on unsuspecting people who are too busy with themselves to notice what’s going on right in front of their own face?


You should leave out the (to whoever) things cause really...Who else would they be talking to but each other?
* I liked the whole running joke of nerd clubs with lightsabers  :D  

Overall a decent story but it still needs some work in my humble opinion