Soho Noir by William Johnston - Comedy, Drama - The lives of a loser screenwriter, a paranoid producer, a potty-mouthed director and a bored Hollywood actor are affected by and in turn affect a screenplay on its journey from conception to screen. The screenplay as protagonist 110 pages - pdf, format 8)

I only read this because it sounded so similair to mine.

After saying that...I enjoyed this, although it wasn't as comedic as I would have liked it to be.

I really liked the interaction between Roman and Toby with the shotgun, great dialogue and great scene all together.

I stopped at your first line of action here:

Still sweaty, Jenny sits amongst the DVDs, having a postcoital
cigarette. She is bright, droll and even after years
of supporting Sean, she is still in love and lust with him.
She watches Sean at the printer, methodically sorting through
the hard copy of "Soho Noir". Sean is a dreamer; intelligent,
self-absorbed and just a little odd. A screenwriter, who is
so far un-produced and always stony broke.


That's not how screenplay action is written. Screenplay action is 100% visual. If you can't see it, don't include it; that's the rule.

I was also turned-off by "postcoital" cigarette. Language like that in a screenplay is so ridiculous, the reader has every right to throw the screenplay out the window when she encounters it.

riclanders