Broken Glass Within Reach or: Snapshots of the Temporarily Inevitable by Matthew Orobko - Drama, Dreamscape - Inspired by a series of dreams and a poem by Matthew Orobko. 'Broken Glass Within Reach' pieces together various dreams while stringing them on a somewhat cohesive plot line that feels more like a surreal vision than a film. The characters have no names and the places have no distinction. This is an experiment realized by the recording of dreams for over a year.  60 pages - doc, format 8)

Hmmm! I'm not sure what to say about this one, seriously. Your writing is good. Your descriptions are vivid and I like how detailed you are, not too much, not too little, but to the point, for the most part. You're a good writer.

... But I have no clue what you're writing about, man.

That first scene of the young man and the young woman in bed and their very very verrryyyyyyyyy long conversation about change, knocked the wind out of me! I swear it did. 3 pages in total, 3 pages of a conversation that really meant nothing.

Then you spend another full page describing the guy in the hammock and the bar-b-que... then the 2 guys playing the video game... then another extremely long conversation between the..hmm, the hammock guy and the young woman, of which, again, I didn't get anything out of... and this goes on until page 25, I think, and I still didn't get it!!

Hey, maybe it's me, maybe I'm a bit slow tonight, I don't know. But that's when I stopped reading your story.

What's with the hammock guy opening up the fridge and finding a TV screen??

Are these guys on drugs or something?

Maybe everything comes together in the end of the story and maybe this story is amazing and I missed out, maybe, but I know for sure if you can't hook the reader in 25 minutes/pages, then it'll be very hard to hook them at all