I need a little help here guys.

I posted a short a few weeks ago and found that its a little too confusing so i'm working on rewrite.

Not wanting to give too much away but it revolves around the alphabet and it was suggested that I super each letter at the time but it would read like this:

SUPER 'A'
      PETE
   Anna nice to meet you...

      ANNA
  You too...

SUPER 'B'
     PETE
  By the way...

and so on, there are action scenes to break it up but some dialogue follows and I would be Supering every other dialogue.

Would this be too off putting for the reader?

Depends on how the story reads. There seems to be a lot of concern placed on how the reader will take stuff, but you're not writing to be read; you're writing to be seen. If it will look good on screen, then do it. I would say finish it first and we'll see how it looks. If it doesn't work, then rewrite. If the pacing works, congrats.

Cheers George

I'll put it in and re-post it and let people comment on what they think.

alffy