Chao and the Democratic Party by Helio J Cordeiro - Short, Comedy - Chao wants to reach the presidency but depends how democratic can be the democracy. 3 pages - pdf, format 8)

Helio, I think this constant writing of simple scenes is going to really hurt your credibility on these boards.  The last three or four scripts that I've read of yours were just single scenes of something bigger and it's actually beginning to annoy me.

I do like reading your work, but I wish you would write complete stories, rather than these  little snippets.


Phil

Was this supposed to display diversity in modern culture? It was well wriiten, with the few spelling errors and "Screen Plasma". All your short short have to either be pointless or just have a message i'm not understanding. They certainly do make me think, so you're doing a good job.

What the hell was this? I didn't get anything about this script. I might have liked it if I knew what the hell you were trying to do here, but I just don't get it.

I assume your speech about the presidency is a joke about how the American presidency is still, after two hundred and fifty odd years, limited only to white male men. Not everyone can reach the presidency, someone born in Malaysia cannot be the president of the United States. The speech is so close-minded and niave that it's obviously a little joke on your part.

Yeah I just didn't get it. Am I missing something here?


Cheers, Chismeister.

I understood what you were saying with this, but not your motivation.  Were you being sarcastic or were you just dreaming - hoping for a better world?  I think you should try to make your motivation a bit clearer.

I do not agree that this is just a scene, it has quite a bit to say and it says it cleverly. Again, understanding your motivation would make this a much more enjoyable script.

You had some clumsy language and some typos, but I'll leave that to others this evening.

Meu amigo,



If I get it right, you're dreaming of a gay Hispanic future President. Am I right?

In this case I finally gladly find back my Helio though the message is not very clear.

It'd been interesting to know which book Isabel reads. It'd show more of her personality.

Michel 8)

Hey Helio, I guess I can see your message here, but only because I've just read through what everyone else has written above me. I think everyone is right, the message needs to be clearer. Try and lengthen these too, 3 pages if that? It's hard to send a serious message to readers in 3 pages.

I was confused at first. There might have been a twist or two in here. I didn't realise Chao was a dude and the whole situation was pretty surreal. Still, nicely written amigo.

Hey guys, first of all I have to thank you all for the comments. I have to say too, I’m in debt with you, because I don’t have to much time to read your stuffs, but I swear I’ll. It has been my f**k book. It was to be released on December’s 2006, but it has entering through out 2007 and nothing yet, darn!

I know that my comments are not great, but I’d like to confess that I have the opportunity to learn with your writing when I read it, so don’t blame when you see that there aren’t any spoilers to read at all when I read your scripts.

Phil, my dear, I don’t say I need your comments, but I can say I want it ever, because you are a smart guy and you have good experience on this business. So what you will say about my shorts I will replay with this: “Continue reading my shorts, Phil!”

Thanks!

Quoted from chism someone born in Malaysia cannot be the president of the United States.

That would be because according to the United States Constitution, any president must be a native born American. We've only had one president that wasn't born in the United States: George Washington.

As for it being white males...well, the people decide.

He was English?! So, now I know why you don't want another anymore!!! Hahahaha!

Helio -- Hey man I almost missed this one. You changed a name and it worked wonderfully. And... by the way... I absolutely love the edit. Who ever did it keep asking the mystery editor to help out. Great job!

Spencer

Hi MC!

Thanks, man for your reading. I always appreciated your reviews, you know?  I don't know on contary (?)

I changed it a bit and there isn't any misterious editor, man. For this one I had a great enlightment from a guy named Spencer McDonald, a promising screenwriter  that showed me that the characters name are so important. Ask him to help you in that case...Oh, it isn't necessary, is it?

This reminds me of a romantic-comedy I once saw on the Sundance Channel.

Never stop writing these sorts of shorts, Helio. They are easy to read and brighten up my day! :)

Liked this one too. Good twist at the end.

Thanks for the encouragement, dude! Sometime people around here gets annoyed with this type of script, but there are others that say it is very nice. I'm not 100% of agreement, I know that!...Thanks anyway.

Helio

I have no worries about you or anyone else writing short scripts, as long as they have a message and this does.

I liked it.  Assuming the mother was talking to her daughter but really her son.  The only problem I see is that the son, although homosexual would need an effeminate voice or the game would be up.

Anywho good stuff.

"although homosexual would need an effeminate voice or the game would be up."

I realy don't think it is newcessary at all. For example: Mr.***** doesn't need a effeminate voice to show he is what he is, dude! He is what he is a guy of democratic party!"

Anyway, thanks to remember it!

Maybe I assumed wrong then, sorry lol.  Still liked it though Helio.

Okay Alffy, continue that way you are! Lol!