Too Late by Pat Haynes (thepatman0) - Short - A walflower, Jeremy, snaps after the pressure from th school's bullies becomes to much.  His best frind, the bully's girlfriend, attempts to comfort him. 7 pages - doc, format 8)

Your title page is the wrong format, your action paragraphs have a 5 line limit, don't make them longer than that, don't use FADE IN and FADE OUT in the middle of a script, add a "- NIGHT" or "-DAY" at the end of your sluglines, convert your script into pdf format by pushing the pdf button on the top of the document.

That's all the mistakes that caught my eye at the first glance of less than half of the first page. Now on to reading it!

After reading the first four words I can tell that your grammar is bad. You need to fix it.

Don't use "ing" words in your action paragraphs.

Don't direct when you write, seriously this is just plain bad formatting! Read this site http://www.scriptwritingsecrets.com/contents.htm and you can consider yourself good on format.

This script really didn't become interesting untill the last page. I'd say you got potential but my God, you need a lot of practice!

Keep it up and... Maybe read some scripts.