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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Series  /  The Office - Upgrades
Posted by: Don, April 2nd, 2007, 5:39am
The Office - Upgrades by James Visconti - Series - The Office goes through the pains of the new Windows upgrades. 34 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: miken, April 2nd, 2007, 9:02am; Reply: 1
I thought this script was really well written.  The dialogue was witty and the whole upgrade situation was funny.  It really felt like an episode of the Office.

The only problem that I noticed (beyond a few minor spelling/grammar mistakes) was that you numbered the scenes.  Spec scripts shouldn't have their scenes numbered.

Other then that, good job :)
Posted by: Qwijebo, April 2nd, 2007, 3:28pm; Reply: 2
Very well written, you should submit this
Posted by: SwapJack, April 2nd, 2007, 9:48pm; Reply: 3

MINOR SPOILERS

couple of comments....observations.

that was one of the best cold opens for the office ever written.."there's a snake in here???"  I was giggling for 10 min

When Michael goes over to the accounting deska and makes those comments to Oscar.. Kevin would probably be laughing.

Ryan and the box cutter reads great... not sure if it would work on screen.
Posted by: lavinny (Guest), April 5th, 2007, 2:37pm; Reply: 4
thanks for the feedback, everyone.
Posted by: edward07, April 6th, 2007, 2:55pm; Reply: 5
Actually, that's a pretty good script.
Posted by: fivescript, May 12th, 2007, 2:25pm; Reply: 6
#1 i like to see different people's takes on the office.  #2 you are obviously big fan of the show since i found many little background details about the characters.

some quick points and hits:

the office is currently running in a three act structure with a cold open and very short tag.  it has been like this since the middle of last season.

here is the office rules of the cold open:
9 out of 10 times the office cold open is about the secondary plot line in the episode...sometimes even the third.  you went straight for the main.

I don't think you made Dwight idiotic enough.  usually he reveals something every talking head that he misinterprets.

i hope you don't mind me pointing things out that strike me as a little off.  i mean no harm or disrespect to your writing.

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