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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  Very, Very Lost
Posted by: Don, June 22nd, 2007, 7:50am
Very, Very Lost by Helio J Cordeiro - Short - They are very, very lost and will be much more lost when crash in a misterious island! 10 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: mcornetto (Guest), June 22nd, 2007, 10:06am; Reply: 1
I counted 32 characters in that script.  Pretty good for 10 pages, 3.2 characters per page.  Must be some kind of record.  

I got a couple of good chuckles out of the script.  
Posted by: Mr.Ripley, June 22nd, 2007, 12:36pm; Reply: 2
Very Funny Helio. A comedic approach to Lost. Oddly enough, I was watching Lost yesterday with my cousin and was talking about how they can turn it into comedy. But I think you can extend a bit more and make this as a series. Lol.  

Gabe
Posted by: Helio, June 22nd, 2007, 1:08pm; Reply: 3
Hey, mcornetto and Gabe thanks for your reading, fellas. I apreciated very much indeed!

Look Gabe, if you like to write the Chapter#2 please feel free to do so! Who knows you will fill it with more funny characters and others situations, better than me!

Anyway thanks a lot!
Posted by: tomson (Guest), June 22nd, 2007, 2:23pm; Reply: 4
Helio,

I can't believe you put me in the same script as Harrison Ford and Jodie Foster and nothing happened!  :o  :X

This is a spoof on Lost and I think for a spoof to work, the reader/viewer has to be familiar with what is being spoofed. I have never seen Lost so I'm sure I missed out on a lot of the jokes.

I still think it was funny and I enjoyed the different names you used, the crazy situations and the little details you add that makes the characters unique or different, but at the same time familiar too.
Posted by: alffy, June 22nd, 2007, 3:16pm; Reply: 5
Hey Helio thought I'd give this a read.

SPOILERS!!!




First off I guess it's a parody of Lost but is there a Shalloow Hal moment in the airport?

I love the way you've turned the characters features.

The Others - love that bit.

I guess the flight numbers are the lottery numbers?

Flightplan anyone...oh and snakes ona plane.  There's probably many more I missed.

Well considering the amount of characters this read well.  To be honest it's probably the funniest short I've read in ages, it had me chuckling away.  I haven't watched lost since season 2 but I got most of the in-jokes.

Thought this was good mate well done, looking forward to the next episode - if you do one...
Posted by: Helio, June 23rd, 2007, 1:25pm; Reply: 6
Hi, guys! Thanks for your reading!

Pia, dear! How could something happens whether you was get mixed up with that nuts inside that plane, dear? Maybe in the next chapter you will be alive when the plane crashes, huh? Island, bikini, beach, sun, coconuts

Alffy you got the joke, dude! Every point in your spoiler is correct. Thanks!

For a foreigner SS like me you comments is a kind of balm, dudes!
Posted by: tomson (Guest), June 23rd, 2007, 1:34pm; Reply: 7
You did good Helio! I just wasn't familiar with the TV show/s and movie references. I need to start watching more movies. People tell me this all the time.

Oh and please let me survive and let me have some fun. I'm an adventurous person and get along with everyone. I think I would fit right in.

Maybe you should use more people from here and retitle it Simply Lost. ;-)
Posted by: Helio, June 24th, 2007, 3:27pm; Reply: 8
Hey, Pia thanks for you suggestion, dear. I'll think about it because it could be my 50th script!

Yeah, who knows I’ll add Don, Bert, Phil, Martin, Gabe, Higgs, Andy, Cindy, Ellis (don't worry, Ellis I use to be very gentle, dear) and mailing all my Latin’s SS colleagues inside the next chapter.

Thanks for you concern, kid!
Posted by: rc1107, June 25th, 2007, 7:09pm; Reply: 9
   Lol.  I've never even seen one episode of 'Lost', but I still understand what you were going for.  Now I'm going to rent the first season just to see what all you were making fun of.  (you should ask the executive producer for royalties for promoting the show.)

   The only thing I didn't like was how you misspelled 'aisle' as the last word on page three..  It really ticked me off and I almost didn't read on after that.  :-)

   -  Mark
Posted by: Helio, June 26th, 2007, 8:41am; Reply: 10
Hi Mark!

Thanks dude for your time reviewing my work.

I'm sorry about "isle", really I misspelled the word aisle (corridor).
Posted by: electricsatori, June 26th, 2007, 12:27pm; Reply: 11
Here's what I'm thinking. . .

Have you thought about submitting these zany shorts to skit shows?
I think this would work well for a skit. However, that is a market I know less than nothing and more than nobody about.
Posted by: rc1107, June 26th, 2007, 12:29pm; Reply: 12
   I was only kidding.  The 'Gilligan's Isle' thing worked very well for the screenplay.  I don't think I laughed this hard in a long while.
Posted by: Helio, June 26th, 2007, 1:31pm; Reply: 13
Hey, electricsatori I decided to write this spoof because I saw a TV show with a type of contest with the best movies spoof of the year and there were "300", "Devil Wears Prada" etc

Okay Mark I accept your defense! Haha!
Posted by: spencerforhire, July 3rd, 2007, 10:37pm; Reply: 14
Hello Good Buddy.

A couple of technical things. First, you mispelled the word plane. You say plain a couple of times. A small thing. Just noticed it.

Second, you do not capitalize PIA when you introduce her.

Finally, I got a bit confused when the plane began shaking and such. Wasn't sure if they were in the air flying or still on the ground loading. You may want to add a slugline or something here.

What I liked -- You descriptions have become excellent Helio. You have reduced them to two to three lines each and it works well for a fast read. We should all take lessons from that approach.

Your character names were good. Especially the pilots. We can see their demeanor simply by reading their names. I like that... and you know how I like quirky characters and names. Very good.

Over all.... another solid piece.

Spencer
Posted by: Helio, July 5th, 2007, 8:52am; Reply: 15
Thanks for your review on this spoof, Spencer! Long time isn't , dude! I hope you Bollywood's project goes well, man. When you flying to India , please send us some pics like you scratching the Bengal Tiger's head for instance...;D
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