The Big Dive by Matthew Howard - Short - A metaphor for the US's involvment in Iraq. - doc, format 8)

This isn't a script so much as it's a transcription of a political comic strip.

Check out proper format. Read other people's scripts.

Also I would change the logline. Most people don't want to read a metaphor. They want to read a plot.

DM called it.  This is a one panel cartoon that you tried writing as a script... and you didn't do a very good job at it.


Phil

I very nearly didn't post this for the reasons that are outlined above by DM and Dogglebe.  However, after reading it a few times, the concept grew on me.  I think this has potential, but needs a lot of work, e.g., remove the "we see..." and camera angles and clean up the formatting.  This can be expanded a bit to flesh out the characterization, also.

Don

I don't get it. Really. What has it got to do with the US and Iraq?

It's just too confusing to even crit.

*spoilers*





I mean I know its about a guy jumping into a kiddies swimming pool...but why?

Quoted from Gaara I don't get it. Really. What has it got to do with the US and Iraq? It's just too confusing to even crit. *spoilers* I mean I know its about a guy jumping into a kiddies swimming pool...but why?

I think the allegory's pretty straight forward. The U.S. is jumping in blind to something they think is a pool of oil (Iraq), but breaks its neck because the water's shallow (the situation isn't what they expected).

Personally I'm getting really tired of political allegories about the war in Iraq. I think everything about it has been said already, and honestlyI feel rehashing the same old "blood for oil" cliché is artistic flatlining. No matter what your politics are, as a writer you should be compelled to write something new.

Quoted from Gaara I mean I know its about a guy jumping into a kiddies swimming pool...but why?

The pool represents the innocence of childhood....or the ignorance.

Don, I think this should be deleted as it is a statement and not a script.  I could just as easily have posted my script, Fart.  It's only one word long and it says a lot about my lactose intolerance.



Phil

"Birds chirping and drum beats."
Positive + war drums. Something exciting will happen, pre war preparations maybe

"Camera(angled up giving the appearance that John is very high up above the ground)"
Someone big and mighty, someone to fear.

"As camera turns to his front and zooms out, we see that he is wearing American Flag swim trunks."
Ah, it's the mighty America.


" As camera shows his front a close-up of his face appears, John puts on goggles which lenses are spray painted black."
Not seeing clearly, or refusing to.

"Thud, camera shot from above shows that John has landed in a kiddy pool barely filled with thick, dark liquid (possibly oil)."
Did we go to Irak for the oil?


" It turns out that he jumped from the ground and was not as high up as we were led to believe.  He is injured and groans."
It didn't work out as planned...in Irak that is.

Damn, did you read into this, Pia......

It's a comment on the United States and the Iraq war.  No need to dissect it.

Does Matt even have an account here?



Phil

Well now I get it but i still don't see the point in it.

Quoted from Death Monkey Personally I'm getting really tired of political allegories about the war in Iraq. I think everything about it has been said already, and honestlyI feel rehashing the same old "blood for oil" cliché is artistic flatlining. No matter what your politics are, as a writer you should be compelled to write something new.

While they're still in Iraq people will keep commenting on it, through art and other mediums.

I thought about writing a political allegory about the Iraq invasion last year. It was going to be in reference to the prisoner abuse scandal. I was basically going to draw comparisons between Iraq and how the police, over here, abuse civilian prisoners in police stations.

Clearly 'The Big Dive" isn't much of a story. I'd have the diver having a conversation with someone else on top of the platform. The conversation, whilst on the surface would seem casual, could be a double entendre that, in hindsight, could also be about the Iraq situation.

Hey, it's a pity this guy didn't write his one page "script" a few weeks ago. He could have entered it in that one page script competition.Lol.

Anyway, I'm glad it got posted; sometimes people need examples of what a script isn't.

Quoted from Takeshi While they're still in Iraq people will keep commenting on it, through art and other mediums.

I have no problem with that, I just think if people are gonna comment they should do more than just repeat what others have said. The obligation to chime in on the Iraq war is a political one, not an artistic one. Artistically there's no excuse for repeating ourselves. The artistic obligation is to do something that hasn't been said before, or angle it in a way that's new and makes people think, instead of just making the war's detractors go: "Damn straight!" and its supporters shake their heads.

Quoted Text I thought about writing a political allegory about the Iraq invasion last year. It was going to be in reference to the prisoner abuse scandal. I was basically going to draw comparisons between Iraq and how the police, over here, abuse civilian prisoners in police stations.

So you would be saying: "Watch it, we could turn out like Iraq", or "We're like Iraq already"?

Quoted from Death Monkey So you would be saying: "Watch it, we could turn out like Iraq", or "We're like Iraq already"?

I guess when the prisoner abuse story broke I was wondering why people were so surprised. It seems that whenever you demonize and dehumanize any group of people, there are some who think it's a green light to deprive them of their human rights. Whether it's: Muslims, drug users or any other marginalized group.

During that time I had a Vietnamese heroin user come into my work, at a community health centre, saying that the cops had just taken him to the station where they: strip searched him, hosed him down, beat him, stole his money and racially vilified him. After all that they let him go without charge. I could tell by how shaken he was that he was telling the truth, that, and the fact that he had nothing to gain by lying to me about it.

Basically I think people know this sort of thing happens everywhere. So why were they surprised when it happened in Iraq? In short I was surprised that they were surprised.

I guess when society as a whole decides that any group of people are sub-human then human rights abuses are bound to occur. I also think we need to very careful about who we let into positions of power because there are some sick fucks who love to put themselves into positions that enable their sick behaviour. I think those sort of people undermine the fabric of our society far more than terrorism or drugs.

Quoted from Takeshi I guess when the prisoner abuse story broke I was wondering why people were so surprised. It seems that whenever you demonize and dehumanize any group of people, there are some who think it's a green light to deprive them of their human rights. Whether it's: Muslims, drug users or any other marginalized group. During that time I had a Vietnamese heroin user come into my work, at a community health centre, saying that the cops had just taken him to the station where they: strip searched him, hosed him down, beat him, stole his money and racially vilified him. After all that they let him go without charge. I could tell by how shaken he was that he was telling the truth, that, and the fact that he had nothing to gain by lying to me about it. Basically I think people know this sort of thing happens everywhere. So why were they surprised when it happened in Iraq? In short I was surprised that they were surprised. I guess when society as a whole decides that any group of people are sub-human then human rights abuses are bound to occur. I also think we need to very careful about who we let into positions of power because there are some sick fucks who love to put themselves into positions that enable their sick behaviour. I think those sort of people undermine the fabric of our society far more than terrorism or drugs.

Okay. But that's not really about the Iraq war then. It's specifically about racism and villification of certain groups of people, which, like you say, happen everywhere. But we 're still outraged every time, whether it's perpetrated by American soldiers or Australian police officers. Hopefully you'd agree bigger political machinations were behind the war than racial profiling?

And I don't think society as a whole has decided than anyone's subhuman?

But this is turning into a political debate and should really go to the general chat.