Lost and Found by Nicholas Carlton (nwc2001) - Short, Drama -  Whilst camping, two young men come across a time capsule with documents and memorabilia 60 years old. Through examining the items they reflect on their own lives and dreams. 12 pages - doc, format 8)

I just glanced at it, and the format's a little messed up. That'll affect the running time.

Even though you're producing it yourself, you still need to format it correctly. Think of every script as a possible calling card.

I'll give it a more thorough read through soon.

I'm not sure about the format. Maybe it's just the way it opens on this particular pc, but the way it looks here is not that great. For starters don't underline sluglines, I'll leave the rest alone since it might just be a file problem.

The story here isn't all that bad. I can see what you are trying to do. Two guys discussing the meaning of life and one of them coming to a big realization. IMHO, your telling of the story needs a lot of work.

Try to imagine this on film. I think it would be quite boring because you basically just have two guys talking. Twelve minutes of that gets boring to watch. You need to make this more cinematic. Show us stuff, don't just tell us.

Also, audiences don't like to be read to or have to read things on film. Very short things on occasion, but your's are very long. Your dialogues are long too. You need to break all this up with something interesting for an audience to look at, otherwise this could just as well be on the radio.

Like I said, it's not that the story itself is bad, you just need to write it suitable for film.

Good Luck with it.

Pia :-)

Im not sure why the format is screwed up, sorry about that. Anyway, thanks a lot for reading it I appreciate your comments.

I just thought I'd mention that I wrote this with the intention of creating a movie in which the dialogue replaces action and the story is very much pushed foward via the dialogue. A lot like Richard Linklater's 'Before Sunrise' or the more recent 'Interview' by Steve Buscemi.

Hi Nicholas

I like your script very much. It is something I was looking for. Although I have to admit that I agree with the guys who commented on your script saying that it could be boring, too much reading. However it may work for me. I need to speak with my classmates- my team and see what they say. I will talk to them tomorrow.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Silvis Samitis and I am studying digital film making in London. I am looking for a script to produce for my final movie. I wonder if you would let me use your script? I have to explain to you that I am a student and that my film budget is not low budget but no budget therefore I am not able to pay anything for the script. I hope that is ok with you.

Please let me know what you think.

silvissamitis@hotmail.com


Silvis