Monster Movie by Daniel Olsen - Sci Fi - A geeky teen finally gets a date with his dream girl, but his plans are rudely interrupted by an alien invasion. 111 pages - doc, format 8)

I think the first act needs a bit of work: Introducing the alien threat straight away might be an idea, something to hook the reader - maybe a shot of the meteorite approaching Earth? Some more character development would be nice as well. Most of the characters, while entertaining enough, felt more like cliches than real people.

The lack of serious hook and weak characterisation meant that my interest started to wane after 20 or so pages.

With some more development of the plot and characters this could shape up into a reasonably nice piece.

Hi
I wasn't in the mood for reading a script and I just wanted to read the first few pages, but the opening grabbed me and so I read on...and on...
- I can't say much about the characters... I loved them.
- Why is it 'day' when Rebecca gives William a ride- and 'night' when they arrive at his house? And why does William observe Rebecca's car driving along??
- Great idea with the deer.
- I really like your descriptions!
- Some moments in the first half reminded me of The Faculty, but luckily the story isn't just a cheap copy.
- Pretty much action in the second half!!
- Maybe it's just me, but the non-stop-action in the second half got a bit exhausting...
- All in all I really enjoyed this script!!
- Cheers.