Bad Therapy by Spencer McDonald - Comedy - An unlucky banker hooks up with a psychotic therapist by chance and struggles to find love and happiness.  103 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hey,

I've decided to read more features so I thought I'd start with this one.

I'm assuming this is the one you sold... If so is this the draft they'll be shooting?

Anyway, I enjoyed it. I thought it was funny and it was easy to read and follow. As always, I enjoy the way you write as well. I like your descriptions and it makes it an even more enjoyable read. Some may have complaints about it, but I don't.

SPOILERS:

I wish you had described Quinn a little better in the beginning. I understand he's a slob and a loser, but I still didn't have a clear picture of him. I did over time, but I would have liked to right from the start.

On page 5 I wasn't sure who it was that had the allergy attack. Quinn or Sydney. I know now it was Quinn, but it wasn't clear in the beginning.

Visually I find this script to be quite funny. I LOVE the red velvet matador outfit, lol!

Ditto that for Quinn's singing and dancing for Ashley.

When Ray and Quinn are at the tavern, I would have liked to see some quick flashes of the Parker couple, Kala and that other guy. Show us how they are still struggling in their various situations. While I was reading I was wondering what had happened to them. They come back later of course, but at that time I felt you had forgotten about them. Just a thought...

I was a little confused about the money case. I thought Quinn gave it to Ashley at the tavern, but then he has it with him in the car with Ray later.

You use the word lounges a few times, but I believe you mean lunges.

I felt that Ray's reason for all of this was sort of weak. Making people commit suicide, killing people and so on was never really explained. Is he just a psycho or does he have some other motivation? Did I miss something.

You mention the drug Paxil. You might want to show the bottle with the name on it, but have him call it an antidepressant. I had to look it up so unless people know what Paxil is, that joke might be lost on people.

I think Maria's sudden change came out of nowhere. I didn't really see Sancho do anything for her to change her mind.

All in all, I think you did a good job. I was entertained reading it and I'm sure people will enjoy watching it on film.

Pia :-)

Thank you Pia for reading. This is a rewrite of Banker Boy. And, I am still in the workds on rewriting. Everything seems good, except act III. As you mentioned -- some loose ends to tie up.

As I understand it from the producer, this script will be shot beginning in Feb or March 2008. I will get credit for the story and another writer will be credit as translation or something like that. Needs to be converted into Hindi and some of my dialogue will get revamped.

Soon, I will probably have to have this pulled down from SS. For now its up for reading and comments.

By the way, I had a much funnier scene in the tavern where Quinn sings. It was originally a gay bar and the guys were after him as he tried to jump out a bathroom window. The creative group from India said, OH NO you can't do that. No Gay scenes so I had to change it.

Spencer

Hello,
i'm ward from northern Minnesota. Just read your script. I see several years since it was visited on this forum. Did you ever get it on screen? I am currently taking a screenwriting class so i'm kind of a novice so forgive me. It seemed like your a fictional writer/novolist first. " very descriptive" In addition i felt that many of the charectors were short lived, yet had names...sometime first and last? I enjoyed the verbal play and fantasy with Ashlee main character As mentioned ending un satisfying?
            
                                           Thanks
                                               Ward