The Waking Dead by Billy Kale - Horror - Emily's life is thrown into turmoil when the dead begin to rise. But what seems like a situation lifted from a horror film has one twist. Theses zombies are smart. 118 pages - pdf, format 8)

Comments on the script would be much appreciated.

Thanks

Read and review other people's scripts so you can then get reviews on yours. Or post it on the script exchange.

Gabe

Hi, i read the script and enjoyed it.

First the good:

* The script was well put together, and if flowed seamlessly.

*I loved the idea of the zombies being smart.

*The ending was very good.

*Action packed with a lots of turns and twists.

The bad:

*I didn't like your characters. Calvin seems like a badass but his dialogue doesn't portray him that fashion. Also Calvin was the main person risking his life for others, how does he suddenly become a coward at the end?

*In the scene where there lookin for supplies, you never gave a discription or a backround for those characters, and they kinda just appear out of no where.

*You couldn't think of a better name then Shop, Other Shop?

*Why do they want to go to the military base, and why does everyone agree on it. I could see if Calvin just kindnapped them and proceded for his own personal reasons. It just seems kinda weird for everyone to vote to put themselves in danger.

*Your characters lack personality they all seem the same, talk the same, act the same.

Overall I think the only drawback to the script is really the characters. The script was well-written, action packed, and had enuff supence to make me read it in one sitting. In my opinion it was a GOOD SCRIPT.

Hi, Timotio

Thanks for the comments, glad you enjoyed the script.

As for the problems:

Quoted Text didn't like your characters. Calvin seems like a badass but his dialogue doesn't portray him that fashion. Also Calvin was the main person risking his life for others, how does he suddenly become a coward at the end?

Yeah, that change was a bit stupid now that you mention it.

Quoted Text n the scene where there lookin for supplies, you never gave a discription or a backround for those characters, and they kinda just appear out of no where.

That part, like most of the problems, was simply due to a lack of planning on my part (I did no pre-writing for this at all, or character backgrounds and biographies).

Quoted Text you couldn't think of a better name then Shop, Other Shop?

Laziness on my part...

Quoted Text Why do they want to go to the military base, and why does everyone agree on it. I could see if Calvin just kindnapped them and proceded for his own personal reasons. It just seems kinda weird for everyone to vote to put themselves in danger.

Their going to the military base because they want to see how all of this started, or they think that they might find out where all of it started. That was probably poor explanation on my part. As for voting to put themselves in danger... yeah that part probably could have benefited form a re-write.

As for problems with the characters, that's simply because I did no background work for the characters at all - I wrote this as I went along - so that's probably where that problem stems form.

Thanks again for commenting on the script, the tips should come in handy in the future.

Billy