Landfill by Ron - Short, Monster Movie - Four college students are sent to the local landfill for a class assignment. Instead, they encounter the evil effects of golbal warming. 15 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hey Ron,

Just finished reading your short. :)

What a way for Mr. Reed to get the kids interested in the effects of global warming (offering them an A).  :)

I did like your story. Format, and dialogue were good, too.

One thing felt off though. Why was there only one, and why wasn't it ever noticed before by anyone...

maybe Moore could say something like they're multiplying at an alarming rate or getting larger... I don't know.

also Moore states that the gulls are acting funny because of global warming...
How does he know this?

I think a better explanation would be that he thinks the gulls are acting funny because of getting poisioned by the methane gas.

Also if Moore knows what they did to the tower, why didn't he tell the kids to be careful or offer them a weapon?

I did enjoy the read, but feel it still needs a little tweaking.

Cindy

Cindy

The script was fine. I think your cause of the mutant seagull is wrong though. It sounds more like a toxic waste mutation than a mutation caused by global warming. This is why horror movies and politics don't mix. If you want to write a political horro movie write about what would happen if Hillary won the election! Now that's scary!!!

Just finished reading. Very decent, the whole thing flows pretty well.

I agree with pants that mixing politics with monstermovie is a bad idea, especially your last sentence made me itch all over ;-) Apart from that, I don't really see how global warming accounts for big seagulls. Pollution, maybe, but not global warming.

The biggest problem I have with it is the motive for them to go. Getting an A is really not enough. If we would have gotten the idea that Justin will be in big trouble if he gets one more bad grade, I'd buy it.

Quoted from Pants The script was fine. I think your cause of the mutant seagull is wrong though. It sounds more like a toxic waste mutation than a mutation caused by global warming. This is why horror movies and politics don't mix. If you want to write a political horro movie write about what would happen if Hillary won the election! Now that's scary!!!

Horror movies and politics could work. All he would have to do is change a little bit of the script. We (here in Michigan) get Canada's trash dumped in our landfills (Politics). There is also a toxic site (that could be used for horror). So his script could work.

And about Hillary  :) the lady's gonna' win. ;D

Cindy

Quoted from CindyLKeller Horror movies and politics could work. All he would have to do is change a little bit of the script. We (here in Michigan) get Canada's trash dumped in our landfills (Politics). There is also a toxic site (that could be used for horror). So his script could work. And about Hillary  :) the lady's gonna' win. ;D Cindy

Horror and politics could work. Like I said, write a script about that B**** becoming president. The problem witht his script is his cause for the 1 giant seagull makes absolutely no sense. I guess what I should have said was Ron should not mix horror and politics because he doesn't have the slightest idea what's going on when it comes to Global Warming.

And if by chance she's elected, I'm moving to Canada!!! :P

This was a good read. Kept me entertained throughout and for it being pretty short, you had me caring about the main characters.

I agree that using global warming as an explanation for a mutant seagull is a bit farfetched, but I've watched more farfetched films than this - so that's no biggy.

Nice job

Ste

Thanks everybody for the read and comments.  I had no idea this would spark a political debate but I must confess I like it.  This was a contest entry.  They supplied the topic and genre.  Mine was Monster Movie/ Trash.  You had 7 days to complete the 15 page script.  

I agree with the Nexus between global warming and a monster seagull being a little weak.  But I also agree that with a little more work, I could make the connection more solid.  

I did like the Clinton idea, talk about an endless supply material to stir the creative juices.      Thanks again…. Ron.

For what this is, it's well done.  It has a feel of a parady in a way, but also delivers on the violence and gore.  Kudos for making the reader actually care about your characters, even though we know almost nothing about them, and probably shouldn't give a damn.  I think this is due to the flow and pace of the script.  There's really no filler here.  It gets right to the action and sucessfully delivers it.

There are numerous tweaks and the like that you could work on to make this "better", but again, for what it is, I'd say nice work and leave it as it is, and move on.

Nice work!

Just read it and I have to say I loved it, made me laugh out loud in several places which may or may not have been the point of this.  The best lines for laugh out loudness would have to be Justin's "Ah...it's eating Wilson" and Sena's "Shit, it can fly"

Justin's is funny because it doesn't come across like he is in shock at seeing someone being eating by a mutant seagull but more like a scientist or detective discovering something important "Ah... a clue"

As for Sena's line. I found that funny because of its absurdity. I mean its a killer seagull...of course it can fly, or did she miss that lecture.

Still I have to agree with the others. I don't see how global warming could cause a mutant seagull. Perhaps you should change this to a tale about pollution and its effects on the environment (including global warming) as I could see some toxins or something creating a monster bird.

All in all a very enjoyable read, one of the best comedies I have read on this site in ages... shame I don't think it was supposed to be one.

It’s hard to take monster movies very serious, even on a good day.  So, if you found it humorous and were entertained then mission accomplished.  

Considering the length, I think you’ve did what you were suppose to which was establish a quick goal, which was to complete the science project, and soon after escape the bird. Also, you established the stakes, they would fail the class, and soon after that they could have been killed. Some were.

  At fist I had a problem with there not being much subtext. But I chalked that up to the length of the story. But I also had a problem with the most of dialogue during the action sequence because it felt like colored commentary. Like a character walking and saying, “I’m walking”; had to use the extreme for argument sake. It wasn’t that bad, but this ate up a lot of time you could of use with dialogue that provided subtext.

For example even though Justin and few others may have needed the grade, it appeared Wilson didn’t, you could of added some dramatic irony by establishing a resentment Wilson carried toward his classmates and a plot of his to sabotage the project, and thus creating subtext with everything he said because we, the readers, know everything he says is some kind of lie or scheme. Now, of course, this is cut short because of his death. Consider this though, Jason’s goal in the latter part of the story is to survive the bird, which gives him an immediate opponent, but in the beginning he has a goal as well, to make the grade. Who’s the opponent then, no one as of now.


P.S. Sena? What's wrong with Sienna. That's how I read it, sorry I'm a control freak.


Thanks J