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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Comedy Scripts  /  Project Greenthumb
Posted by: Don, August 15th, 2008, 7:12pm
Project Greenthumb by James C - Comedy, Action - The cost of marijuana has become too expensive in California, and Project Greenthumb has taken it upon themselves to steal the weed from dealers and redistribute it for a lower price. On one of the jobs they come across an old business partner, and things really go through the roof. 93 pages - doc, format 8)
Posted by: tonkatough, August 16th, 2008, 9:53pm; Reply: 1
Errr! I just watched Pineapple Express last weekend. What a tired, weak movie that was. So dissapointed as i was really looking forward to it.

But good news for you brother cause I just went and read the first page- just one page -of your script and I'm hooked.

So yeah I'm keen to do a review exchange for my script Perplexity Grove that is a few places down from your script in the comedy section.  
Posted by: tonkatough, August 16th, 2008, 9:55pm; Reply: 2
Oh God. I'm such a retard.

I was suppose to post that comment in the script exchange thread. If only you could all see how red my face is right now.
Posted by: James C, August 17th, 2008, 4:46pm; Reply: 3
Thanks for posting this Don!

Oh, and Tonkatough, it's good to hear that only the first page has got you hooked. Haha. I'm excited for your review, as well as reading your script.
Posted by: tonkatough, August 18th, 2008, 2:40am; Reply: 4
Loved it! This script rocked hard.

You have an excellent plot that is full of action and mayhem and moves along like the rapid fire of a machine gun. The simplicity of the story allows for little set up so you quickly thrust the story from one action set piece to the next.

Plus the icing on the cake for me was the quirky details that made all your main characters stand out and shine bright. Rerun's rapping, Dallas constant high, the midget. Green's excitment at getting the pimped up AK.

It's the dozens of creative little details like this that I believe makes a script all the more appealing. Only a few writers here I know have the creativity to pull it off.

Dallas getting hit by a Tazzer and keeps running was a classic.

Also I had a laugh when towards the end of the script I had realization is that your story is just a take on the Robin Hood tale. Was this your intention?

The one thing you do need to fix is the formatting. It looks wrong and you need to correct it.  The margins for the dialouge looked wrong.

I use a book called "elements of style for screenwriting" for all my info on script format so I can't advise you on where to go to look for correct formating info.

How do you wirte your scripts? do you use a script writing program?

Plus also your script needs a lot of polish. a lot of little mistakes and wrong words in the wrong spot.

This is a fantastic script and deserves to get a lot more reads. But to do that you need to read other peoples stuff. That's how it works around here so you better get busy.  
Posted by: James C, August 18th, 2008, 1:47pm; Reply: 5
Wow, thanks for your review Tonkatough.

It wasn't really my intention until I was a decent amount through the script when I realized that it was basically Robin Hood. Haha. So I just kept going on with it, and it felt like I was writing my own futuristic version of it.

I know it's not getting reads because people think it's a rip-off of Pineapple Express. It did give me the idea to write an action packed movie based around drugs. But the stories are not too similar to one another.

About the formatting...

I use only Microsoft Word. Haha. I wasn't sure exactly how the margins were supposed to be, but I'm downloading Celtx right now so I can fix that issue.

Again, thanks for your read Tonkatough, and I just started reading Perplexity Grove right now. I will have a review for you in the evening. : )

-James C
Posted by: tonkatough, August 19th, 2008, 12:36am; Reply: 6
Um . . . just for the record, I've seen Pineapple Express and there is big diffrence between that movie and your script. Pineapple Express sucks and your script is cool.Pineapple Express the biggest let down out all the big movies over this summer.
Posted by: Courtney_Castello (Guest), August 21st, 2008, 4:54pm; Reply: 7
James I just read the first twenty pages, very cinematic, very gripping. Good luck with this. I'll let you know whem I'm finished.

Ps: I love the lines for Rerun, when's his album dropping- lol.
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