This thread is to discuss professional scripts.

Subjects here include:

1) How the professional writer gauges the market. This area addresses how the pro writer determines what might sell? Most projects are in development for years. How does a writer know what subject matter or premises might be salable today?

2) How professional scripts are constructed (not how they might be improved). This area addresses how the amateur writer might make a script salable. It includes how the pro writer might structure the story, how the pro hits plot points on particular types of stories, etc.

3) How a professional script is marketed. This area addresses how an amateur writer might generate interest in a script from professionals who can get their script the attention it needs to succeed.

Of course, this thread will focus primarily on number 2 above.

This thread was started in part due to the Script Club, which serves a different function. It’s based in part on the Script Club’s structure though. The idea is to pick a script we can all read and study. The difference is that in this thread we will study professional scripts as opposed to unproduced ones. And rather than study how to improve them, we will focus primarily on how they were written.

The selected script needs to be:

1) One all participants agree on. It needs to be considered what is the best, most useful script to study however and not exclusively a matter of personal taste.

2) One in which we all have access to the same copy. We all need to be able to read the same version. Wherever possible, it will be best of course to have the actual script that sold, although that will probably be difficult to know with any certainty in most cases.

So to start off:

[Edit -- a script has been decided on. Please see below.]

Quoted from Breanne later in this thread The objective is to study a script that sold in Hollywood; to examine what made it sell; and to use it as a model to help give us a better understanding of how to improve our own work toward the goal of selling a script. The script we’ll be studying is I Want to _____ Your Sister. The first thing that needs to be done is we all need a copy of the script. Mike (Shelton) has graciously agreed to send a copy to anyone from the club who requests it so let Mike know if you want to participate. Here are the ground rules (yes there are rules): 1) We are not here to discuss what’s wrong with the script. We are here to discuss what’s right about it. Arguments over its artistic merits will be struck down with swift justice from the whip wielding Dominatrix of Doom. (*Note: in Bert’s case, since he actually desires punishment from the whip wielding Dominatrix of Doom, his punishment shall be the withholding of punishment -- ahh, clever, huh?) 2) Read the entire script before commenting on the script. I’m not saying you can’t post at all in the thread before you read the whole script, just that we want to look at how each portion of the script relates to the whole. 3) Be nice! Just remember; we all have the same ultimate goal, which is to sell our work. Everyone has their own opinion and is entitled to it. Personal attacks will be met with swift justice….you get the picture. Basically anything that has to do with what makes this script a desired and successful script is open for discussion. As far as what particular subject to begin with; it’s hard to say without cracking the script open. I do want to begin with the script itself. I want to examine the character introductions; When/how they occur; The inciting incident; What is it and when does it occur?; What’s the crisis?, etc; The setup; How is it metered?; Is there a pivotal action that occurs on every page? Is there some pivotal new information introduced on every page? Now go out there Team Script Club and read! (after Mike sends you the script. :)) Breanne

I'd be happy to participate here.

Sandra

So what script do we want to do?  I don't think we should limit it to just the Oscar worthy ones.  Those are the minority of those that are sold.  Also are we talking ONLY about Hollywood here?

Hey people! Great!

Quoted from mcornetto So what script do we want to do?  I don't think we should limit it to just the Oscar worthy ones.  Those are the minority of those that are sold.  Also are we talking ONLY about Hollywood here?

Hmmm. I think the majority of people are most interested in Hollywood. But personally, I’m interested in selling a script to anyone who can actually get it produced with good production values. I’m personally interested in theatrically released films. But I’m open to anything that can lead to Hollywood sales too.

About the film; what about The Wrestler? Or what about what Verdugo suggested? The Curious Case of Benjamin Button? Or Halo?


Breanne

I think we should be really clear about our objectives.  I think most of us are looking to break into the industry and that is why we want to discuss the pro scripts.  To see how we can structure or theme our scripts so they can grab interest and sell.   Obviously, unless we have lottery type luck, no one is going to break in on the higher end of budget things - so we should probably stay away from block busters - IMHO.  So Halo is probably out (as a first script anyway).

I think we should look at lower budget movies that sell since this is likely the direction from where our break would come.  I'm not sure about they type of budget either The Wrestler or Benjamin Button have.  Can we even get our hands on the Benjamin Button script.  

Maybe, since we can get a copy of the Wrestler, we should go with that one.

I would consider Countdown to be a high budget film and Verdugo said it could break a writer in. He said it probably wouldn’t get made but it could get the writer assignment work.

But we have another problem. Pia thinks two threads are too many. I think she may be right.


Breanne

You know, I think I need to go check out my husband's cd/video shelf to post some two cents worth of my possible interests, but I really am happy to discuss anything.

Every time I enter into an area that I might not otherwise, I feel excited and surprised by how much it stimulates a new point of view from which to analyze and deconstruct and also a new appreciation.

Right off the top of my head though: How about: Tuesdays with Morrie. Or: Dead Poet's Society. Or how about another one where Robin Williams starred: The Night Listener?

Sandra

I've read both The Wrestler and Benjamin Button, and while I think both are good, I have to sat that The Wrestler might be the best way to start.  It's a little more in line, length-wise, with what we normally write and is fabricated in a manner that I think everyone would be familiar with and can comment on.  Banjamin Button is a little on the long side for most here, I think.

As far as Oscar stuff goes, I think they'll both be nominated, but The Wrestler just seems to be more in line with a discussion at this point.

Are the scripts up for discussion to be old and/or new?

Sandra

Breanne, I am in there like a shot.  It is clear that the Script Club format is not really geared up for reading produced scripts and this would be a good compromise.

Michael is 100% correct, we should have a clear objective before starting a discussion on a particular script. We need to understand the market that script was written for and be realistic in our comments with regard to that script and its intended market. My personal goal from this exercise is to try and get a better understanding of why the script worked and thus why it got interest from the studio. This is a very different objective from the Script Club as has been discovered this week so I cannot see it conflicting with that at all, so see no reason at all why the two cannot run together.

There is no doubt that the biggest opportunity for any of us to break into the business is with a low budget indie feature, it would not be a bad idea to at least make sure we include some of them during the course of this. I don't know if they have to be all Hollywood movies, there are some great low budget movies that come out of Canada, the UK and Australia from time to time.

One thing that very rarely gets discussed here at Simply Scripts is the commercial appeal of the script. i.e. actually writing a script with a clear idea in mind of who the audience is, how much money can we get from them and from there what is the maximum our script can cost to produce. It was only this week that I realized how crazy that was that we never discuss it because this is without doubt the most important thing in the mind of anybody who is in the position to say yes or no to our script. It is almost as if we try to kid ourselves that it is still all about art and story and nothing else.

Quoted from Murphy One thing that very rarely gets discussed here at Simply Scripts is the commercial appeal of the script. i.e. actually writing a script with a clear idea in mind of who the audience is, how much money can we get from them and from there what is the maximum our script can cost to produce.

Exellent point, Murph', but discussing how much money a script can generate at the boxoffice would be speculation imo. cos' of that big X in the equation. Actors. Whether we like it or not, movies (Hollywood movies) will draw people to the theaters merely because this and that actor/actress is attached. There are exeptions of course but unfortunately they are few and far apart.

Quoted from sniper Exellent point, Murph', but discussing how much money a script can generate at the boxoffice would be speculation imo. cos' of that big X in the equation. Actors. Whether we like it or not, movies (Hollywood movies) will draw people to the theaters merely because this and that actor/actress is attached. There are exeptions of course but unfortunately they are few and far apart.

Indeed this is true with regard to the actors that are attached to a film. I would probably go and see a movie with Robin Williams even if it didn't seem of interest to me otherwise.

Sandra

Quoted from Murphy There is no doubt that the biggest opportunity for any of us to break into the business is with a low budget indie feature,

Re: GM's quote above, I'd just like to say that I seem to be seeing a LOT of no-name, first-timer writers and directors getting their big break on these "disposable" $30 comedies that churn through the box office in the blink of an eye.  

As a low-budget indie filmmaker myself, having just completed my 5th feature film, I can tell ya that the low-budget route for breaking into the business is more fraught with peril than I've ever seen it. There's simply too many people making too many movies. My friend and producing partner is a Sundance programmer, and he says right now they've received something like 7800 submissions, and submissions aren't even closed yet for a few more months.  Last year, they received 7800 TOTAL.

My $0.02, from the trenches of banging my head against the wall:  without names attached to your script, or in your movie, you simply don't get any traction. Even films that become the darlings of Sundance, most with name actors or producers, fall more quickly to the wayside than in times past.

Brian

Quoted from screenplayreaders As a low-budget indie filmmaker myself, having just completed my 5th feature film, I can tell ya that the low-budget route for breaking into the business is more fraught with peril than I've ever seen it. There's simply too many people making too many movies. My friend and producing partner is a Sundance programmer, and he says right now they've received something like 7800 submissions, and submissions aren't even closed yet for a few more months.  Last year, they received 7800 TOTAL. My $0.02, from the trenches of banging my head against the wall:  without names attached to your script, or in your movie, you simply don't get any traction. Even films that become the darlings of Sundance, most with name actors or producers, fall more quickly to the wayside than in times past. Brian

Brian,

Thanks for your input. Maybe you can offer some insights into the following: I hear conflicting accounts of what breaks a writer in.

Some say low budget is best because it has a wider range of producers who can get it made.

Some say big budget is better because an agent can sell the writer and not necessarily the script, thereby getting the writer assignment work.

Some have suggested that pro writers understood the market and wrote according to what was most salable.

Some say that won’t work.

Any thoughts or advice? Should a writer simply write something that showcases his or her talent? Or should a writer go for salability in the marketplace?


Breanne

IMHO,

This should be a Script Club thread. The SC was started in order to discuss scripts. Any script. I just don't think we realized produced scripts would get more attention than our member's scripts.

Also, "anything" can be discussed about the script. Even salability or anything else for that matter. Again, I don't think anyone realized that was something anyone wanted to discuss. As long as we discuss one topic at the time so it doesn't get so random and muddled.

We are all still new at this and a system is slowly forming...

I would suggest, that we ask for a few suggestions from people who intend to participate what type of script should be discussed this time. What genre, written by a seasoned pro or newbie and so on.

I would also suggest that Breanne hosts this this time. I know you can better come up with exact topics.

I also think you should serve beer and nuts... actually, skip the nuts. We already have plenty here.
(said with lots of love for my fellow ss members)  ;-)

Quoted from Grandma Bear ... actually, skip the nuts. We already have plenty here.

Oh oh, I get it now. For a moment I thought you meant the other kind of nuts, you know the ones that...you know...rhyme with..."walls".

I'm joining you for lunch again today.

I just wanted to say there isn't a formula for success.  People break in a variety of ways.  You're not going to find an equation because if there was one way to do it then everyone would do it.

In writing for the market I'm not telling you to toss aside your script about say Madame Curie and only write broad comedies about turnips.  I'm saying if you have a great biopic about Madame Curie you need to understand what sells in your bracket and where it sells.  You should read scripts produced in the last three years that fall within whatever genre or category you are writing.  You have to be able to look at your work objectively in terms of both writing and structure. Am I hitting the beats?  Is my dialog as solid? Don't "Mom" yourself and love your work without seeing what separates it from Ronald Bass or John Logan.

With your Curie script, with any script, you have to be a business person who can read Variety. You have to find out about the people who are producing the new Amelia Earhart biopic and send them a great query letter.  You have to find your own deals and the only way to do that is to educate yourself and pound the keyboard and make some calls. You also have to have a pretty thick skin and a lot of determination.  Any guarantees?  No.  But there definitely aren't any guarantees if you don't do anything other than complain about how you're not working.

Screenplayreaders referenced comedy as the easier "in" right now and it's true.  Comedies are cheap to make and give good return on DVD rentals. One of the reason they're so cheap is that they hire new writers and pay them Guild minimum for scripts. As a new writer is it easier to sell a $15 million comedy than a big budget period piece?  Yes.  Should you only write what's easier if it doesn't appeal to you at all?  Definitely not.  Write what you're interested in and passionate about but know once you're done that at the starting point in your career you're the one who has to find it a home.

That's all very eloquent and I'm going to kill it completely by making a suggestion in what you should read.  Comedy is an easier sale and I think the $$$ part probably appeals to a lot of you.  I would say you should read "I Want to F___ Your Sister" by Melissa Stack.  It was a big deal last year and I believe this is her first sale.

Quoted from Verdugo I"I Want to F___ Your Sister" by Melissa Stack.  It was a big deal last year and I believe this is her first sale.

I'm up for that.  And I wouldn't mind reading the screenplay either.

Quoted from Verdugo I would say you should read "I Want to F___ Your Sister" by Melissa Stack.  It was a big deal last year and I believe this is her first sale.

Hahaha...I remember hearing about this script.  I'll bet it got at least a glance based upon the title alone.

I think this is a most excellent suggestion from our new friend, V.

A cheap comedy -- by a first-timer that somehow got her script noticed.

How did she do it?  I think we ought to take a look.

Can anybody get their hands on this one?  (Not my sister, you jack-ass -- the script!)

I'd be up for joining the debate on this one. I quite fancy reading "I Want to F___ your Sister" if anyone has it?

I'd also recommend "Book of Eli" by Gary Whitta, it's a post-apocalyptic movie in the vein of Mad Max that sold on spec last year. It's flawed but entertaining and I think the writing style is a good example of the current trend.

Anything off last year's Black List would be good.

P.S. Can anyone email me the Countdown script. I was halfway through it when the link disappeared.

Thanks!

I've searched using Google.  I give up looking through ten pages.

Might try on the weekend if it hasn't been found by then.

Quoted from screenplayreaders My $0.02, from the trenches of banging my head against the wall:  without names attached to your script, or in your movie, you simply don't get any traction. Even films that become the darlings of Sundance, most with name actors or producers, fall more quickly to the wayside than in times past.

Brian, you are dashing my dreams! ;-)

Would love to hear more though, Does this mean you really do think that a spec script for a Hollywood comedy really does have a chance of being noticed? What kind of stuff are you writing? I take it you are not just writing but making your movies too?  

I appreciate you taking time to add your 2 cents, much appreciated.

I still say the next script, regardless of which one is chosen should be Script Club V...

Quoted from bert Can anybody get their hands on this one?

I have it.

Seems like everyone wants to read "I Want to F___ your Sister".  No wonder it sold.

Quoted from Verdugo I'm joining you for lunch again today. I just wanted to say there isn't a formula for success.  People break in a variety of ways.  You're not going to find an equation because if there was one way to do it then everyone would do it. In writing for the market I'm not telling you to toss aside your script about say Madame Curie and only write broad comedies about turnips.  I'm saying if you have a great biopic about Madame Curie you need to understand what sells in your bracket and where it sells.  You should read scripts produced in the last three years that fall within whatever genre or category you are writing.  You have to be able to look at your work objectively in terms of both writing and structure. Am I hitting the beats?  Is my dialog as solid? Don't "Mom" yourself and love your work without seeing what separates it from Ronald Bass or John Logan. With your Curie script, with any script, you have to be a business person who can read Variety. You have to find out about the people who are producing the new Amelia Earhart biopic and send them a great query letter.  You have to find your own deals and the only way to do that is to educate yourself and pound the keyboard and make some calls. You also have to have a pretty thick skin and a lot of determination.  Any guarantees?  No.  But there definitely aren't any guarantees if you don't do anything other than complain about how you're not working. Screenplayreaders referenced comedy as the easier "in" right now and it's true.  Comedies are cheap to make and give good return on DVD rentals. One of the reason they're so cheap is that they hire new writers and pay them Guild minimum for scripts. As a new writer is it easier to sell a $15 million comedy than a big budget period piece?  Yes.  Should you only write what's easier if it doesn't appeal to you at all?  Definitely not.  Write what you're interested in and passionate about but know once you're done that at the starting point in your career you're the one who has to find it a home. That's all very eloquent and I'm going to kill it completely by making a suggestion in what you should read.  Comedy is an easier sale and I think the $$$ part probably appeals to a lot of you.  I would say you should read "I Want to F___ Your Sister" by Melissa Stack.  It was a big deal last year and I believe this is her first sale.

I obviously cannot speak for anyone else here, but it is not really about the money for me in terms of wanting to write. But I have to be realistic, I of course need to make money. So like probably everyone else here most of my time is taken up with work. My ideal goal would be to sell anything, to try and be in the position where I can call writing my day job and spend 10 hours a day writing instead. Then I could start to think about the things I want to write. Is this an unrealistic goal would you say?  I know everybody is probably raising their eyebrows at that, "Yeah, right Murphy, nobody ever thought of that before". But I hope you get what I mean. Am i hoping for far more than I am likely to achieve.

You have written some really interesting posts, I need to get my arse into gear this morning but will read again over the weekend.  Thanks very much for your input.

Quoted from Murphy Is this an unrealistic goal would you say?

Of course it's not an unrealistic goal, at least from my perspective since I'm pretty much in that mindset myself at the moment.  Yeah, I've got a few things out there, but am I in any kind of position where I can quit my day job and just write full time?  Absolutely not.

In the meantime, I put in my 8 hours a day, five days a week, and write my ass off on nights and weekends while constantly searching for ways to get my work out there and sold.

Keep at it.

Quoted from Grandma Bear I still say the next script, regardless of which one is chosen should be Script Club V...

I agree with this.  I have just closed a bunch of old "Script Club" threads, and adding another permutation of Script Club into the mix would be unweildy at best.

Whether the topic is a Produced Script, or an Unproduced Script, it will still be a "Script Club" thread, and we should only have one going at any given time.

I am pretty sure everybody can agree with that.

Quoted from mcornetto Seems like everyone wants to read "I Want to F___ your Sister".  No wonder it sold.

From an artistic standpoint; I don’t think it sounds very good. I think the title is very lacking in creativity. I read the logline or synopsis or something (I can’t remember which) somewhere (I can’t remember where), and it didn’t grab me.

However:

From a business standpoint; I think it sounds perfect. I think it’s the perfect script to begin with. Because I think when it comes to studying pro scripts it’s important for us to study fresh new ones that Hollywood is interested in right now.

Quoted from Shelton I have it.

Mike, is there any way you can provide this one for us?

Quoted from bert I agree with this.  I have just closed a bunch of old "Script Club" threads, and adding another permutation of Script Club into the mix would be unweildy at best. Whether the topic is a Produced Script, or an Unproduced Script, it will still be a "Script Club" thread, and we should only have one going at any given time. I am pretty sure everybody can agree with that.

Agreed. Script Club V it is then.


Breanne

So we've decided on another produed script?  I thought we were going back to a member's unproduced script?

Actually, I just wanted to send a post in so I'll be E-mailed when more posts show up, and I can stay in the loop.

Quoted from Breanne Mattson Mike, is there any way you can provide this one for us?

Sure.  If I know who's going to be participating, I can email it over to everyone.  I will warn in advance that it's a large file. (4.8mb).

Having read the script I can say I enjoyed it, although I'm kinda biased when it comes to rom-coms based on personal taste.  

I read another script around the same time called "Bromance" that I preferred just a little bit more, but that wasn't by a first timer (Barry Schwartz has another IMDb listing for Parent's Weekend, but since both are scheduled to release in 2010, I have no idea which came first.)

Quoted from Dreamscale So we've decided on another produed script?  I thought we were going back to a member's unproduced script? Actually, I just wanted to send a post in so I'll be E-mailed when more posts show up, and I can stay in the loop.

Dreamscale,

Nothing's been decided. All I know is that I personally want to study a produced script right now. I want to study why it’s produced; why it got picked up.

If others want to study an unproduced script, that’s fine. But I want to study a produced script and if we have to do two different ones at once, I would rather do that than not get to study a pro script.

All I can say is that I want to study a pro script in terms of not how to improve it but to learn the ins and outs of a pro script. I want to learn how to write like a pro. That’s my top priority.


Breanne

Quoted from Shelton Sure.  If I know who's going to be participating, I can email it over to everyone.  I will warn in advance that it's a large file. (4.8mb).

Thanks Mike,

I’m sorry but I don’t know how to work this out. Some people want to do one thing and others want to do another. But everybody wants to do the same thing.

So I don’t know what to do. I may just go off by myself and study a pro script and say screw it -- haha


Breanne

Quoted from Breanne Mattson Dreamscale, Nothing's been decided. All I know is that I personally want to study a produced script right now. I want to study why it’s produced; why it got picked up. If others want to study an unproduced script, that’s fine. But I want to study a produced script and if we have to do two different ones at once, I would rather do that than not get to study a pro script. All I can say is that I want to study a pro script in terms of not how to improve it but to learn the ins and outs of a pro script. I want to learn how to write like a pro. That’s my top priority. Breanne

I'm ready to work on both right now. When the thumbs are up (hopefully no middle fingers) then I'll be here and I promise I won't post Sympathy For the Devil again. (LOL) Why do I have to mess with people's heads?!

Sandra

"I want to learn how to write like a pro. "

What?? You don't want to learn how to write like an unproduced Swede???

I thought the decision has been made now...  Although I personally would like to alternate between the two, I think its great that so many people want to read scripts. I became a member 3 years ago and as far as I can remember this scrip club thing is the closest we've had to actual studying and discussing scripts. I think it's great.

And are you going to serve beer or not?

Quoted from Grandma Bear "I want to learn how to write like a pro. " What?? You don't want to learn how to write like an unproduced Swede??? I thought the decision has been made now...  Although I personally would like to alternate between the two, I think its great that so many people want to read scripts. I became a member 3 years ago and as far as I can remember this scrip club thing is the closest we've had to actual studying and discussing scripts. I think it's great. And are you going to serve beer or not?

Haha -- I would love to write like an unproduced Swede.

If people want to do an unproduced script, that’s fine. I’m just having trouble shifting my focus to that right now because I’m still hungry from the Countdown thread. I don’t feel like I got everything out of it that I wanted.

I wanted to get into the intricacies of its construction. I wanted to pick apart the things that made it a pro script; the things that made it succeed. And I don’t feel like we ever really did that.

So I’ve still got a lot of hunger for that right now. I’m mad with desire -- haha

If others want to do an unproduced script, I’m okay with that, although I think I may go mad with craving.

But yes, I’ll definitely serve alcohol. :)


Breanne

Ok, if alcohol is being served, I'm in for either...or both...or whatever.

Let me know.  I'll follow whatever rules are put in place and I'll do my best not to piss anyone off, but I think you all know by now that's not easy for me.

I know some people have said that two script discussions would be too much, but have the boards really been that busy?  I don't think so, and I don't see any reason why they couldn't be done.

Although a script club thread for an unproduced script may suffer a little bit, it will also have the benefit of having two threads devoted to it with the Script Club plus its regular thread.

Another issue for me with doing an unproduced script right now is that, quite frankly, I don’t know what advice to give.

I can give personal advice on what I personally think the writer needs to do to improve. But what can I really tell the author that will help him or her improve toward the goal of making his or her script more salable?

I felt the benefits of studying the salability issues regarding a pro script would benefit us all as reviewers of unproduced scripts. I felt it would invigorate us to start giving more practical advice with regard to each other’s unproduced scripts. I thought it would provide great benefit to the script clubs when unproduced scripts were covered.

I was excited about learning, improving, and making my own work more salable, but I was also excited about offering more practical feedback to other authors when it came to reviewing the unproduced work of others.

So that’s another reason I’m so stuck on studying a pro script right now.


Breanne

Another option is to go the Skype route.  To literally discuss a script in real time voice chat, probably little by little, over the course of a week.

This would keep one of them off the board as well, for those worried about being overloaded.

Mike,

I want to F___ your -- I mean, could you mail me the script? :)

I have no problems with two threads, no problem with one thread, and no problem with Skype discussions.  What I do have a problem with is indecision, lack of clear goals, and lack of leadership.  Who is charge here?

Jeeze, that sounded a bit like Winston Churchill.

But really.  Someone needs to take charge and make the final decision about which script we do.  Some one has to decide what the boundaries and goals of the discussion are and moderate it.

Breanne - if you really want to do this then take the reins and let everyone know what's up.


Oh, and Mike, could you send me a copy of that F___ing script.


  

I thought the decision had been made...

The fuck your sister script!!

Breanne's in charge!

What are the goals of this discussion?  The last discussion went all over the place and didn't really accomplish anything.  I'm not interested if this is going to be like the Countdown discussion.

I'm sure this one will be run better.

Quoted from mcornetto What are the goals of this discussion?  The last discussion went all over the place and didn't really accomplish anything.  I'm not interested if this is going to be like the Countdown discussion.

From what I gather, Breanne wants to look into the intricacies of the script and figure out just what it is that made it sell.

It's a rom-com.  The only way I see it going the way of the countdown thread is if everyone starts chiming in with "I can't believe this p.o.s sold".  I hope that won't be the case, since I thought the script was pretty good.

Anyway, if this is what is ultimately decided, I will be keeping a close eye on the thread (like I wouldn't anyway) and chiming in with my own thoughts in regard to the rom-com genre.

Quoted from Grandma Bear I'm sure this one will be run better.

I wouldn’t place a bet on that -- haha.


The objective is to study a script that sold in Hollywood; to examine what made it sell; and to use it as a model to help give us a better understanding of how to improve our own work toward the goal of selling a script.

The script we’ll be studying is I Want to Fuck Your Sister. (I don’t really want to…well actually I don’t know your sister so I don’t really know…never mind…(ahem)…moving along.)

The first thing that needs to be done is we all need a copy of the script. Mike has graciously agreed to send a copy to anyone from the club who requests it so let Mike know if you want to participate. While on the subject, Mike, I need a copy.

Here are the ground rules (yes there are rules):

1) We are not here to discuss what’s wrong with the script. We are here to discuss what’s right about it. Arguments over its artistic merits will be struck down with swift justice from the whip wielding Dominatrix of Doom.

(*Note: in Bert’s case, since he actually desires punishment from the whip wielding Dominatrix of Doom, his punishment shall be the withholding of punishment -- ahh, clever, huh?)

2) Read the entire script before commenting on the script. I’m not saying you can’t post at all in the thread before you read the whole script, just that we want to look at how each portion of the script relates to the whole.

3) Be nice! Just remember; we all have the same ultimate goal, which is to sell our work. Everyone has their own opinion and is entitled to it. Personal attacks will be met with swift justice….you get the picture.


Basically anything that has to do with what makes this script a desired and successful script is open for discussion. As far as what particular subject to begin with; it’s hard to say without cracking the script open.

I do want to begin with the script itself. I want to examine the character introductions; When/how they occur; The inciting incident; What is it and when does it occur?; What’s the crisis?, etc; The setup; How is it metered?; Is there a pivotal action that occurs on every page? Is there some pivotal new information introduced on every page?

Now go out there Team Script Club and read! (after Mike sends you the script. :))


Breanne

Yes,  sir!

Uh....Ma'am. ;-)


Count me in then.

I have a complaint already...

I don't like rules. I'm an anarchist!!... unless I'm in charge of course, then I'm a fascist. You understand don't you?

PS. If I'm really good, can I whip bert for you?  Always wanted to.

Quoted from Grandma Bear I'm an anarchist!!...

When I first looked at this line, I thought it said you were the antichrist.  And I thought to myself.  Oh! That explains a lot. ;-)

Quoted from Grandma Bear I have a complaint already... I don't like rules. I'm an anarchist!!... unless I'm in charge of course, then I'm a fascist. You understand don't you?

That talk will not be tolerated!  Now shut up and go make me a turkey pot pie!

Quoted from Grandma Bear PS. If I'm really good, can I whip bert for you?  Always wanted to.

I like how Bert gets all the love when he's only 64% as handsome as I am.


On a serious note...

Breanne,

I have two email addresses for you.  One seems to be no good, and the other one is kicking back at me and saying your inbox is full*.  Do you have a third one I can try?


* I stuffed Breanne's inbox.  Bert is now down to 62%

Quoted from Grandma Bear I have a complaint...

Uh yes, the complaint department is right over there by that precipice….just a little more…you’re almost there…just a little more….

Quoted from Shelton Breanne, I have two email addresses for you.  One seems to be no good, and the other one is kicking back at me and saying your inbox is full*.  Do you have a third one I can try?

Did you try breanne(a)kwvtsalem.com?


Breanne

Quoted from Breanne Mattson Did you try breanne(a)kwvtsalem.com?

Yeah.  Perhaps because of the large file, it's kicking it back.  If you'd like, I can send you a gmail invite.  You get lots of storage there.

I tried to send Brea a script once to that same address, but it came back saying the server rejected it...

Does your server accept attachments?

Well, boy howdy -- with all that whipping and sister f***ing, I must say that October is shaping up to be a pretty awesome month.

I would appreciate a copy, too, Shelton.  And as for all of your percentage pontification -- just remember that nice guys finish last, funny-boy.

Mike, Pia,

I called my husband and he said my account should accept a file that size. He told me not to do anything until he looks at it. He’s going to check it out sometime tonight.


Breanne

Quoted from bert And as for all of your percentage pontification -- just remember that nice guys finish last, funny-boy.

Mike is not a nice guy....  

Quoted from bert I would appreciate a copy, too, Shelton.  And as for all of your percentage pontification -- just remember that nice guys finish last, funny-boy.

That seems to put the odds heavily out of your favor, Bertram.

Quoted from Breanne Mike, Pia, I called my husband and he said my account should accept a file that size. He told me not to do anything until he looks at it. He’s going to check it out sometime tonight.

I sent a gmail invite to your email address anyway, just in case you'd like to use it.

Quoted from Shelton I sent a gmail invite to your email address anyway, just in case you'd like to use it.

Try this then:

breannemattson(a)gmail.com


Edit -- Got it. Thanks Mike!

Quoted from Shelton Yeah.  Perhaps because of the large file, it's kicking it back.  If you'd like, I can send you a gmail invite.  You get lots of storage there.

Mike, you can try using Yousendit, it takes on large file types.

Sandra

Now when she's got her g-mail set up, we introduce her to g-chat and then seduce her into the coveted Skype Friday night party!!

The Friday night party is a bad influence. I've got to hold on tight to a chamomile tea.

Sandra

Send it my way also.  If I get out of line or off track, just douse me in Jagermeister, slap me a few times, then bring out the whip!

I'll follow whatever lead is given, and I'll try my best not to bring up negatives or the like, but in the past...like every single time I've fucked someone's sister, I've had things to complain about...

Oh ii thought we were into a different script.

Mike i also have the script, i can put a link here in code :)

so let me know

I love the title.

Shelton could you send me the link.

jay_kay7@hotmail.com

Mike

Could you send it to me too, please? ste_spike(a)yahoo.co.uk

Cheers

Quoted from NiK Oh ii thought we were into a different script. Mike i also have the script, i can put a link here in code :) so let me know

Nik, you need to find out if yours is the same version as Mike’s. We all need to be reading the same version. If they’re the same then a link would be nice. If they’re not the same, it could cause confusion.

To people posting email addresses:

If you post your address for Mike, please put (a) instead of @ to prevent harvesting. :)


Breanne

I wouldn't post a link to it.  You can run into issues with legalities.  Cease and desist and all that.

It's certainly no trouble for me to send it to everybody via email.

Well ok, look since i wanna be part of the discussion i will post a link just for today.

Tomorrow the link will be deleted. Mike please check if it is the same script

Code http://www.zshare.net/download/19470458505a0c10/

i put it on code to don't be searched.

Hey guys - is this topic gonna get moved, or is there a specific place I should reply to it as?

Thanks much!
Brian

Quoted from screenplayreaders Hey guys - is this topic gonna get moved, or is there a specific place I should reply to it as? Thanks much! Brian

I think it will get moved, when we start the official discussion. Breanne knows better :)

Have you already read it?

Quoted from screenplayreaders Hey guys - is this topic gonna get moved, or is there a specific place I should reply to it as? Thanks much! Brian

To the best of my knowledge, the discussion will take place right here in this thread, Brian. If it does get moved, a link to the new thread will be placed here in this thread to let everyone know.

Quoted from Shelton I wouldn't post a link to it.  You can run into issues with legalities.  Cease and desist and all that. It's certainly no trouble for me to send it to everybody via email.

Well, there you have that. Let’s just leave it at letting Mike know. You can post an email address here (with (a) instead of @) or you can pm him. :)


Breanne

Breanne,

I think you are supposed to start a new thread...

Script Club V: and the title

see bert's post yesterday

Quoted from Grandma Bear Breanne, I think you are supposed to start a new thread... Script Club V: and the title see bert's post yesterday

Listen you; don’t be telling me how to run things. Mike said he had to wait forever for his turkey pot pie and it was cold when he got it.


Seriously, yes it would be better to start another thread. I’ll take care of it.


Breanne

Dag!  You got faced!

Quoted from seamus19382 Dag!  You got faced!

I am not even sure what that means, or who he might be referring to.

But it sounds vaugely naughty -- serving as a nice segue into our discussion of the lewdly titled "I Want to F*** Your Sister".

And thus yet another "Script Club" thread closed.  This is the "Script Club" thread that is now open for business:

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1222452775/

Quoted from Brea Please keep in mind that this thread is for discussion of the script. It’s okay to have fun and enjoy and have lighter moments but please don’t derail the thread.

Heed Brea's warning.  She's got bees -- and she ain't afraid to use them.