Symbiosis by Alexander Julien - Action, Horror, Sci Fi - A young veteran from a small Pennsylvanian coal town becomes the unwilling recipient of a secret military experiment. 110 pages - doc, format 8)

Hey Alexander, an average story with some noteworthy characters mostly once you got to the town of Lucy. I couldn’t help but feel I have seen many of the scenes before in First Blood or similar movies. The war hero returns home and meets some unsavory townies, the cop is in on it, the military is messing around with alien DNA, etc. The multiple endings were expected. Not bad, not bad at alll. Clean up would help this a lot. Here are a few suggestions.

The title does not need to be bolded or in a larger font

The definition of symbiosis is at the very beginning of your script but I am unclear as to how you want it shown: As a SUPER or just there for the reader’s benefit. Either way, if it’s important, it should be shown how it is to be presented. I also caught the significance of the "long-term" relationship.

Do not put the total pages on each page, it tends to remind peole there is a clock running and you don't want the reader to feel pressure.

Identify your lfashback. Readers don't like to feel lost.

Bolding of every noise heard in the script – and there are a lot of them – is not needed and can be downright annoying. In general, not much is bolded in a script. (Oh, I see, this is a style decision - not sure it works)

Underlining of key words for emphasis in dialogue is not common but I’ve seen it in enough scripts. It usually isn’t necessary due to the circumstances for the dialogue.

You use passive wording way too much in your action lines. Your work will read much easier if you can eliminate most of it. Such as “is” “are” and verbs ending in “ing". Once you do this, you'll be surpised at how much more action oriented your script will feel. Right now action just kind of happens to the characters.

I hope this helps!

Gary