My script seems to be too short. What should I do?

For a feature, your script should be clocking in at around 90-120 pages, so at 37 pages, your script is basically a short.

It's difficult to tell you what you're doing wrong without reading what you've written so far (you might not have done anything wrong - maybe your story is just better suited as a short).

The only real advise I can offer is that you read a bunch of feature scripts. There are plenty on this board and even more on the main site. Read and learn basically. Read and then go back to your own script and try to identify where the wheels come off.

Good luck.

Rob

Thanks for the help. I am aware that for a feature my script should be 90-120 pages long.

My story is definitely not suited to be a short. I know there are other elements I can add to it, but not sure what.

I will surely read many scripts on this site. I have been a member for quite awhile now, but never really needed help with anything until now.

Is it properly formatted?

There's only a minutes action on each page of a script, so there should be an awful lot of blank paper.

If it is, the chances are that you've not got any subplots running under the main stiry and that kind of thing.

Or it could be that it's just not enough of a story for 90 minutes.

I'd post it in the WIP section, so we can get a better look.

You might be trying to rush into things too quickly, I understand the things you said with your characters. I used to have the same problem. Try to maybe make us get to know the characters better? It is hard to tell without seeing it.

Good luck.

My story is really simple and it does suffer from not a lot of subplots. I have tried to find a way to put in a subplot, but it is very difficult.

As for the characters, they are very one dimensional. I mean, there isn't really a whole lot to them. The only character that has a whole lot of a back story is the main one. But I have literally flushed out his entire life.

As far as I can tell from what I've readed on the thread so far, it seems that:

a) You have one dimensional characters, which means that you are only taking care of the action and you lack of character development in the story.

b) You have no subplots, which means that you are only working the main plot, and it may be relate with the first problem.

and c) As Dec noticed, it may be a formatting problem, too. Check out some scripts on the download section or use a formatting program like Celtx to write your script.

Hope that helps!

Dude, write down the scenes you do have and look a that as a skeleton to build on. You should see some opportunities. Ask yourself a couple of questions: What is the character's biggest flaw? What could happen that would be the hardest thing for him to deal with? These should help get you kickstarted. Either that or put your script down for awhile and let it percolate in your mind for a week or two before writing on it again. Or you have (gasp) writer's block. Work on something else for awhile.

That's all I can add based on your short query.

Good luck.

Gary

I actually have been thinking about this post since it popped up yesterday morning.  At times, I was laughing, and couldn't figure out exactly what was going on here.  I don't mean that I was laughing at you, but was laughing at the situation itself.

Check this out...You say you've got a feature screenplay in your head and have finished it, and it turned out to be 22 pages.   With some tinkering, you got it to 37 pages, which is almost twice as long!.  You know what I mean?  22 to 37 pages is quite a difference, but nowhere near feature script length.

You know you need at least 90 pages (or close).  So you know that you're still only 1/3 of the way there.  This is crazy!  How can this be?

You say you have 1 dimensional characters and a simple story with no subplots.  Those are not positive things, but they're not make or brake, either.  Lots of movies/scripts have 1 dimensional characters and very simple stories, but they still manage to run at least 90 minutes.

Grade made a great suggestion.  Let's take it a step further though and put together an outline.  It can be a very simple outline, but you need to see on paper, exactly what your story is and where it goes.  So, try it...start with a skeleton of your scenes, like Grade recommended, and then fill in some details below each scene (like an outline).  How long is your outline?  How many different scenes do you have?  How many characters do you have (and are there both antags and protags)?  Do you have conflict?  Do you have resolution?

Try this and get back with us.  Hope it helps!  Good luck.

You might also try fleshing out all of the characters. By creating backstories and everything related to their lives, you can often come up with the additional scenes and subplots you're looking for. After all, these people came together somehow, right? They have a purpose in existing in the same place. You could take a few steps before your story is starting and fill in a little with the character points. Typically the stories that are light on the plot are heavy on the characters and vice versa.

The outline is a great idea as well, but look at your other characters and give them a life. That might be just what you need.

Quoted from George Willson

You might also try fleshing out all of the characters. By creating backstories and everything related to their lives, you can often come up with the additional scenes and subplots you're looking for. After all, these people came together somehow, right? They have a purpose in existing in the same place. You could take a few steps before your story is starting and fill in a little with the character points. Typically the stories that are light on the plot are heavy on the characters and vice versa.

The outline is a great idea as well, but look at your other characters and give them a life. That might be just what you need.

Excellent advice George.
Fleshing out the characters would definately give you more to work with. That way subplots could be incorporated because character reactions etc would create a richer story.

I second what George said, too... or third that... or whatever LOL

I'll 4th it, but it's not going to increase the script by 50-60 pages...and if it does, we're talking about a script that is 2/3 fleshed out characterization.

I'm interested in hearing answers to questions I posed.

I'm in the don't add flesh until you have a skeleton camp on this one.

Do you have a beginning, a middle and an end? If you're only at twenty-two pages before you started padding I don't think you do.

I think I'm with Lakewood here. Adding 70 pages of padding doesn't sound like a great story...

You should just post it as a short.

Let your peers decide if it should be fleshed out.

Compare your script to what you feel is a similar existing feature length film.

Read your script aloud.

Jot down notes about "the what" each page is about.

Ask yourself lots of questions like:

How much time have I devoted to this and that character?

Have I shown them in normal situations?

Have I shown them in stressful situations?

Have I shown them in boring situations?

Why is this scene this short?

Why is this scene this long?

Do I have enough dialogue for the kind of film I want to build?

How long does it take me to thrust the initiating incident into the action of the plot that demands action of the protagonist?

Have I sufficiently cued things up so that we can see the character's personality working with/against the causal factors?

...just keep asking yourself questions.

In the meantime, you can post it as a WIP and we can have a look to try and help figure out the problem. As others have said, it's hard to tell without reading it.

I often have the opposite problem as you. My stories go all over the map and characters take over and screw with things. It sounds to me like you do have a clear precision here and that's really good.

I'm off to the woods in BC soon and won't have online connection where I'm going, but I'll check in every so often. If you need help, feel free to message me and I'll give it a read.

Good luck!

Sandra

Three words:

Huge Friggin' Font

I agree with Dressel here, just post it as a short and get some feedback. There's plenty of people here that will tell you whether you have a story good enough to expand or whether it's a only ever going to be a short.

What happened to Bre's post? I agree with her 100%.

It's funny all these different pieces of advice...all on something that we have absolutely no clue what it looks like, what it's about, etc.

I think the writer needs to post a few pages on the Work in Progress thread, so we can see what we're dealing with.

DS,

I wasn’t sure if the original post was serious. It just doesn’t add up for me. Anyone who’s ever read a screenwriting book, read a feature screenplay, or seen a movie, should be able to see major problems in a 37 page feature. It would have to be missing crucial - and in my mind obvious - elements.

I suggested he should post a few pages in the Work in Progress section but the more I thought about it, the more it nagged me as to whether or not the op is serious.

Breanne

That's exactly what I thought, and why I said that I had been laughing about this post whenever I thought about it, cause it's basically mind boggling. And to think that he wrote an additional 15 pages...I mean, those 15 additional pages were basically the length of the entire original script!

I don't get it.

Quoted from Dreamscale

I'll 4th it, but it's not going to increase the script by 50-60 pages...and if it does, we're talking about a script that is 2/3 fleshed out characterization.

Oh, but you'd be surprised. The reason I suggested fleshing out the characters is by fleshing them out, you'll inevitably create pieces of plots based on how they met, why they're there, etc, and by doing so, you'll discover missing plot points, sub plots, and that sort of thing that can add 50 or 60 pages or more.

Also, by knowing who your characters are, many times they'll "tell" you which way they need to go in order to progress in the story or even what they should have done to get where they are. I've found that I'm nearly unable to write much without knowing the characters since who they are plays into every aspect of the story. How do you know how to write their dialogue without knowing them? How do you know how they'll react without knowing them?

If you learn who your people are, they will lead you through the story because their actions and reactions will be natural and they might reveal the nature of the story you're trying to tell.

What you also might look at is considering your original 20-odd pages to be the first part of the story and you just have to go from there. In screenwriting-speak, consider it act one. Maybe that piece of the story is done, and if it's a complete story, don't mess with it. Instead, take it further and see where that experience takes your character.

And to DS and Bre, it's possible that the original poster is learning to write this form and hasn't read those books. He just woke up one morning and felt that he had a movie idea and is now stuck on what to do. I'm flattered he turned to us.

Quoted from George Willson

And to DS and Bre, it's possible that the original poster is learning to write this form and hasn't read those books. He just woke up one morning and felt that he had a movie idea and is now stuck on what to do.

Yeah, I thought of that. If that’s the case, I think this person needs to start with basic research.

Breanne

I think this person needs to repsond to all the various ideas that have been thrown out. This did start as a callout for help, right?

Hey guys. Sorry I haven't been on in awhile. I have been reading all of your suggestions everyday, but haven't responded because I am working on my script still. Before I was at 37 pages and now I am up to about 50 pages. DS and Bre, I have never read a book about writing a script or screenplay. I just thought of a story and looked how to to format a script and all, then wrote it. I know for sure that this is not supposed to be a short, in fact, it is impossible for this story to be told a as short. I know some of the elements I am missing to the story, but the biggest would probably be the middle. The beginning and end are just what I wanted.

To answer DS's earlier reply, I am one of the few people who doesn't like outlines at all. They mess me up whenever I am trying to get a story finished or revised. I don't plan to ever write an outline, it is just easier for me that way. I have quite a lot of scenes, but not too much. Probably about 30 scenes are what I have. I have 25 characters who are all antagonist, except for one. I do have a conflict and a resolution. Something that maybe the problem with the script is that I thought of the ending before the middle and beginning. I have done this with past stories (shorts) and they ended up well. It is a habit of mine to think of the ending before anything else.

Anyway, I will try to be on more often and reply. I just get frustrated with my scripts sometimes and don't want to come here because I don't want to lash out at you guys and punish you for me being angry.

Quoted from usaking

It is a habit of mine to think of the ending before anything else.

I always use to think of the end before anything else, and also the middle would be the hardest part to do... But you do have to outline your story, even if you don't like it. It will help you assess your scenes and the flow of the story.

What I do is number my scenes, the beginning being 1. and the end being something like 20 if I haven't written the middle, then I think how can I move these characters forward, who deserves a backstory and subplot shown, who deserves to be put in danger and what are the best ways to do this?

What genre are you writing?

You should definitly get a screenwriting book from the library and give it a good read, you'll be surprised on the questions and example answers it will show you on how to write your script.

I'm not an established writer on here, so my advice should be taking as a pinch of salt as I'm still learning the craft myself, just thought I'd offer my opinion.

If you are very sure that I should outline my script, I will try to, but really don't want to. I know that the middle is the trouble I am having writing. I don't plan to change my beginning or ending in the future.

I already have numbered my script in the past, so that isn't really anything I am worried or concerned about at the moment.

The genre I am writing is a Fantasy/Drama. All of the scripts I have written in the past were short dramas. This is the first full length script and Fantasy genre I have ever done.

I will try and get a screenwriting book from a library, but again, I really don't like using materials to help me out. I like figuring stuff out on my own, I always have been like this since I was a kid.

I thank you for the advice and even though I really do want to not use outlines or books, I will give it a try and see what happens.

Hey USA, I’m Jeff, BTW.  Listen, about outlines…you don’t HAVE to use them, but this is a perfect example of how they can help…and you should most likely really try and do one.

So, I’m still quite confused with some things you’re saying.  You started out with a 22 page script that you say is definitely not a short, and can’t be written as a short.  Weird thing is that at 22 pages, you did indeed write it as a short!  Then, you added 15 pages (almost 70% of your additional entire script!), and got to 37 pages (still a short).  Now you’re at 50 pages, and are more than double your original length, but still at least 40 pages from a feature.

It’s all very hard to comprehend.

OK, let’s delve a bit deeper…you say you have quite a lot of scenes, but not too much…about 30 in total.  OK, so your average scene length is just over 1 ½ pages long, or 1 ½ minutes of screentime.  As a quick comparison, I have a script with 136 scenes over 116 pages (1.2 pages/scene). I have numerous scenes that run over 4 pages in length, but the majority are short, at ½ - 1 pages total.  Hard to really gauge much off this comparison, because I break my scenes down quite a bit (different rooms of a house, different areas of a setting, etc.).  I’d say off the top of my head, though, that you need a lot more scenes!

You say you’ve got 25 characters…that’s an awful lot!  I assume that many of these are secondary characters that don’t have much screen time.   But, it’s still a shitload for 22-50 pages of story.  If you’re indeed writing some kind of epic fantasy based story, I’d imagine that you haven’t given nearly enough detail or back-story to your characters, your story, or even your setting.

Finally, I want to say this…I agree with you about using screenwriting books.  I don’t like to do it and never have.  I have read many, many articles and spent hours on various screenwriting websites to get the jist of how to write a script.  So, I commend you for wanting to do it yourself, but if you’re indeed stuck and having issues like you’re obviously having, you need to do something to help.

Why don’t you E-Mail me a few pages of your script, and I’ll tell you what I think your problems are.  I have a few hours of availability today, so I could literally do it now, if you’re interested.

E-Mail is jeffbush3@cox.net.

Hope this helps a bit, and best of luck to ya!

I don't see how I can add any more scenes without changing the story. I have tried in the past to somehow add more scenes, but it is extremely difficult to do. My characters do not roam around very much, they are lazy and the world around them is pretty small. While I do think I need more scenes, I find it impossible and how I would ever get to fit more in.

Most of my characters are ones that do not get a lot of screen time. Only 2 characters in the story really interact with each other and they both get huge chunks of themselves in the story. I admit that I have struggled to give many of my characters a back-story. I have been mainly working on one person's back-story, and that person is the main character. I have given plenty of detail for my story, but I really don't think a huge description for a setting is important. I mean I describe my settings very well, but don't get too detailed in them.

Ever since I started writing scripts a long time ago, I used the internet for help on everything. That is why I came here instead of using a book because I thought that other screenwriters would understand me more.

Would it be alright with you if I emailed you a short script I wrote instead of the one I am currently working on? Another bad habit I have is giving away my scripts before they are complete. I just feel really uncomfortable about it and think you can understand how I write more with a short.

Totally understand! No problem. Send it over...I've got a few hours to kill still...

Okay. I will send it in a few minutes. I am just thinking of some ideas and add ons for my script right now. Thanks for lending a helping hand.

You could certainly try expanding on the characters as others have said but that will only do so much. I'm not sure subplots are the way to go either. I wouldn't hesitate from exploring either. Both add layers to a given story. I'm just saying simplicity probably isn't the problem. I saw Taken for the first time last night. The story couldn't have been more simple but there was always stuff going on. I enjoyed it because of the conflict. Conflict in a story is key. So my guess (and only a guess, of course) would be that your script is short because it's lacking in conflict. Add things that stand in the way of your characters' goals. Expand on those things that are already present in your script. I don't see how you could go wrong with that, even if that isn't the issue. It'll most certainly add some bulk to your script.

Yes I know. But the only characters that can really be expanded are the main character and another character that is in the story a whole lot. I really think subplots are a good idea, although they do not always work. I saw Taken too and didn't really like it. There were many parts where I thought it was just trying to waste time and not really get to the conclusion. My script has a conflict, but the problem is that the conflict isn't really "easy to see." It is something that you have to kind of realize as the story moves along. It is really hard to explain, but the point is that my conflict is invisible. I have a conflict and it is hard to see what it is for many people. Yesterday I was working on my script, which started at 50 pages, and I got to 55 pages. So I am slowly moving along, but man it is hard. I sometimes start to sweat while writing my script because it is so difficult and frustrating.

By the way Dreamscale aka Jeff, you can send me feedback on that script I sent you whenever you want. I will be on this site and at home most of the day. I am almost done with my script, but am getting really frustrated with it. I don't remember if I told you or anyone else this, but I wrote the script I am writing now before. I easily completed it in a week and was very happy with it. Unfortunately, I went on my computer one day to look at it and it was gone. I had no idea what happened. Many other files I also had were gone as well. I looked in the trash and searched all over my computer, but it was nowhere. Because of this, I had to re-write it with new stuff because I have bad memory and could not remember a lot of the things that happened in my first script I wrote.

Quoted from usaking

I don't remember if I told you or anyone else this, but I wrote the script I am writing now before. I easily completed it in a week and was very happy with it. Unfortunately, I went on my computer one day to look at it and it was gone. I had no idea what happened. Many other files I also had were gone as well. I looked in the trash and searched all over my computer, but it was nowhere. Because of this, I had to re-write it with new stuff because I have bad memory and could not remember a lot of the things that happened in my first script I wrote.

I am so sorry this happened and I know it must feel awful. One thing I do is send myself emails of Wips I have going.

Usaking, I've read some of your posts and one piece of advice I will offer is perhaps you might try and take yourself less seriously. I completely understand your intensity. I get that way myself. Very serious about the work itself and although that's good. It's really good in many ways, it can also be unhealthy for you. Try and step back a bit. There will be many many other scripts besides this one. And, although you want to do it on your own, know that you have many "people" resources at your disposal. That's why we're here.

Sandra

Quoted from usaking

Arrghh, that sucks, man. Alway back-up your work. Always.

I've got all my scripts (completed and in-progress) stored on two seperate computers, on a flash drive and on the net. You can never be too careful.

USA, I never received any scripts from you via E-Mail. I was waiting for them, but they never arrived.

It sounds like you really need to open your mind to the various methods of writing. Sometimes, these methods will help you when you get stuck. You can also have a look at the "Screenwriting Palette" thread and go through some of those questions. They've helped me occasionally when I've been stuck. It's great to have a beginning and ending, but when you get stuck in the middle, you've got to do something proactive to help yourself through it, especially when you know you've got a great story. The best one I've ever written (in my opinion, anyway) had the beginning and ending written first, and lacked a middle portion. I struggled with it for a couple years before I finally got the middle fleshed out. Longest it ever took for anything I've written.

Another suggestion is to watch movies in the genre you're writing to see how others have done the same thing. Sometimes that will get the creative juices flowing. It's not plagiarism; it's research.

The one thing that strikes about your description that is a concern, however, is that you state that this is a fantasy/drama, and yet you have lazy characters in a small world. Lazy characters don't make for much of a story in most cases. And why have so many characters if they don't appear that much? Is there a way to combine some of these characters into some fuller personalities? Sometimes, if characters don't appear together and they perform essentially the same functions, you can often make them the same person.

Finally, don't cling too religiously to what you've written. It sounds like you're very attached to what you have and are quite afraid of ruining it by changing it. This plays into the backup suggestion. When I start making significant changes on a script, I save the previous version as a different file (I usually save the existing version as the name of the script with the date behind it, so I know when I decided to keep that version), and then go to town, knowing that if I stray too far, I can pull up the old version and just copy it back in. But you know what? I've never, ever used anything from those old versions, because since I was unafraid to make changes, I made something better every time.

So don't be afraid to tear apart your own work, but just back up the old version and never touch it. This might help you to try different avenues of getting your script to do what you want it to do without affecting what you've already done.

George, I agree! I save drafts the same way...title followed by date. I've got so many, but as you say, I've never once actually gone back to a prior draft...but I always could if I wanted to.

THat's great advice!

I really should go back and delete some of the older ones. I know for one script, I posted the three major revisions of it to show its evolution...not that anyone would actually care about it, but hey, it's all in the name of education. Worst I've ever done was a musical that I wrote with some Swedish guys. I had 5 or 6 saved revisions before they translated it to Swedish. Then we were talking an English version from there, so I reset the revisions back to one and had 7 more. That's probably overkill. But hey, can't be too careful. I always back up a final version before I start making significant changes.

Sandra, I have always been a self-motivator type of person. I am thankful I have this site to help me and all, but I prefer to do many things alone. I know I sometimes get to caught up in things, especially with script writing. Even though I am not the best at it, I struggle and try very hard to complete the one I am working on everyday.

Jeff, I sent you one of the short scripts I wrote yesterday about 15 minutes after I told you I was going to. You should look again in your email. It could have accidently went in the trash or junk. If it isn't there, I would be happy to send it to you again.

George, only one film in the entire history of cinema is close to what I am writing. I know it sounds unbelievable, but it's true. By lazy characters I didn't quite mean that they don't do anything, but there are parts where they really just talk and don't move. I like all my scripts to have multiple characters, even if they don't appear much. It just makes the flow of the script seem much better to me. I have constantly tried to make some of my characters much more than they really are, but I am more concerned about the actual story than them. While the characters in my script are very similar, they are much more different.

It is impossible for me to not cling on to what I have written. I have put my entire life into this story and just want it to be fantastic and amazing. I do not plan to make a copy of my script at all while making changes. The only reason I would do that is if I had a completed script and wanted to make changes.

And just to update everyone, today in the morning I had 55 pages in my script. Now, which is about 4 hours later, I have 60 pages. I have a massive headache and plan to rest for a little while. I will be back on this site in an hour or so. Thanks again for all the help you guys have been giving me.

Dude, no E-Mail from you...send to jeffbush3@cox.net

You've spent your entire life on this story and script? How old are you?

Only 1 film in history is close to what you're writing? WOW...amazing!

You've got to get this thing done so we can all read it.

Send me a script!!!!!

Quoted from Dreamscale

Send me a script!!!!!

I begin to think this is a ghost script.

Michel 8)

Quoted from Dreamscale

Oh oh - Jeff's gonna open up a can of whoopass.

Quoted from Dreamscale

Jeff, calm down. I see that you are getting a little mad right now, but just relax and I will send you the script again. When I said I spent my entire life on the script and story, I didn't mean it literally. My age happens to be 18, but I am much more mature than most 18 year olds.

And yes, even though it is hard to believe, only 1 film in history is close to what I am writing. This film that I talk about is one I have watched many times and use many of its elements in the script I am currently writing.

I am about to send you another copy of a short script I wrote. Please relax Jeff and try to take it down a notch.

Quoted from usaking

My age happens to be 18, but I am much more mature than most 18 year olds.

That sounds very modest to me.

Quoted from usaking

And yes, even though it is hard to believe, only 1 film in history is close to what I am writing.

Baltis? Is that you? :-)

OK, I'm better now. Just got back from the gym. I took out my frustrations...well...some of them.

No, I'm not all worked up or mad at all. Just a little bored, looking for some trouble to stir up (just kidding!).

Could it be Son of Baltis?

Quoted from Dreamscale

Just a little bored, looking for some trouble to stir up (just kidding!).

I've got some Michael Jackson jokes if anyone's interested... ;)

I have no clue who or what Baltis is, but I am certainly not Baltis. You can give me feedback on that script anytime you want Jeff. I might not be on in a few hours, but for most of the day I will be on here and working on my script (which is almost to 70 pages).

Quoted from George Willson

Finally, don't cling too religiously to what you've written. It sounds like you're very attached to what you have and are quite afraid of ruining it by changing it. This plays into the backup suggestion. When I start making significant changes on a script, I save the previous version as a different file (I usually save the existing version as the name of the script with the date behind it, so I know when I decided to keep that version), and then go to town, knowing that if I stray too far, I can pull up the old version and just copy it back in.

So don't be afraid to tear apart your own work, but just back up the old version and never touch it. This might help you to try different avenues of getting your script to do what you want it to do without affecting what you've already done.

I completely agree with this advice. I do the same thing, often writing multiple scenes, versions etc. The important thing is to save them. Sometimes I like to label the file with a key word that helps me distinguish it later on. Because what happens after awhile is you get tons of dates behind the name of your script and you don't know which version is which. ;D It's pretty funny.

I have to laugh, Usaking, (sorry my dear - I'm just funnin' you) but you're telling Jeff to calm down and you're the one who is actually sweating over his work. ;D

I think we all can get pretty serious about things, maybe too much sometimes.

Sandra

Quoted from usaking

I have no clue who or what Baltis is

Don't worry, you'll soon know...

No E-Mail, USA...

Can we all just calm down?

Is everyone calm now?

If you're not feeling calm, please speak up now, and we'll all see what we can do to calm you down.

First off, I am not sweating over anyones work. In fact, I am probably the most calmest guy on the planet. If you knew me very well, you would know this. It just sounds to me like people are starting to get angry about things that have nothing to do with me or who I am. I am trying, painfully, to finish writing my script and post it on this site when it is done. It is hard to do this while people are screaming at you like their is no tomorrow.

Secondly, I am starting to think you are pulling a joke or prank on me Jeff. I have sent you 2 copies of the same short script already and you have not gotten both. I copied and pasted your email, like you said, and sent them to that exact one.

Dude, no one is screaming at you, and I am defintely not pulling a joke on you. No E-Mail has come through from you. What is your E-mail? I'll send you one and you can simply reply.

How's that?

It sounds like people are screaming at me, but if you say so. My email is yugioh_yugioh@hotmail.com (Yes, I know it is a weird email but it used to belong to a friend of mine).

I tried sending you an E-Mail twice...it won't go through at that E-Mail address.

How about this...send me a PM (click on my name and you'll see an option to send an E-Mail or PM) wth your copy pasted short script.

I don't know what's worng with your E-Mail, but I can't seem to get through...

The best thing to do is probably for usaking to post a few pages of the script he’s working on here in this thread and have a moderator move the whole thread to the Work in Progress section.

Breanne

This is starting to really upset me a lot. Jeff, for some reason I can't email you and you can't email me. I don't think the script will fit in the message box because it will be to big to fit it all in. Instead of going through all of this, I would rather just finish my script (which is almost done) and then post it on the site and you will be able to read it, Jeff. That way I can make any corrections I need to and not have to go through all of this.

Breanne, I am not ever going to post an unfinished script on this site. It would not only be inappropriate, but very rude to the other people as well

All this turns out as a farce

OK, I tried...

Best of luck...

Jeff you're the most patient person I ever met

Michel, this is no farce. I can't believe anyone here would think I am lying or doing some kind of joke. I came here for help, not games. The fact that you think this is a farce pisses me off.

Then, follow Breanne's advice. You won't be the first or the last to send an unfinished work. There's no shame about it

PS: and be polite please

I am very polite. When have I not been polite? Have I cursed or threatened anyone? You are the one who accused me of lying. If anything, you should be polite.

I am different from most writers. I take a lot of shame with people looking at my work when it is not completed yet. I don't feel comfortable and even safe doing it.

Quoted from usaking

Breanne, I am not ever going to post an unfinished script on this site. It would not only be inappropriate, but very rude to the other people as well

I didn’t suggest for you to post the whole thing.

Quoted from Breanne Mattson

The best thing to do is probably for usaking to post a few pages of the script he’s working on here in this thread and have a moderator move the whole thread to the Work in Progress section.

The Work in Progress section is fine for posting a few pages of a script. I don’t see how in the world you could possibly find it to be rude to post a few pages of a script you say you need help on in the Work in Progress section. That’s exactly what the section is for.

I don’t know what you expect us to do to help you here in this thread. You say screenwriting is easy. You say your story is unlike any other in history, except one. You say you want to figure it out alone. You don’t want to show it to us. Yet you say you want help. I think you don’t know what you want.

Good luck with your script.

Breanne

Quoted from usaking

I am different from most writers. I take a lot of shame with people looking at my work when it is not completed yet. I don't feel comfortable and even safe doing it.

I guess everyone's just a bit confused because you asked for help and now it seems like you really don't need it anymore.

Since the time I read your initial post i've thought that the best idea for anyone to help you with your problem is to show your work. But if you're not comfortable with that, I don't really know what help people around here can offer, because they have nothing to go on.

I want help, but I don't want to show my script before it is completed. I just want verbal help, not anything else at all.

I expected you guys to help me without me showing you all the script. I don't know what is so hard about that. Many people don't like their scripts to be shown before it is done, it is human nature. I am sure there is a way to help me without seeing my script.

This thread is too long for me to read through. Is it just a problem with e-mail? Send it to me gatortales@gmail.com and I can send it on to Jeff.

...or did I miss something?

Quoted from Grandma Bear

...or did I miss something?

A lot :D

Wow, I don't check E-Mail for a few minutes, and we've got 10 new posts!

Michel, that's funny, cause actually, patience is not 1 of my virtues...but I'm working on it.

USA, here's the deal, you've received a bunch of ideas from a bunch of different people already.  Based on the fact that we know just about nothing about your script, or your writing style or expertise, there's nothing more anyone can do to help.

Does your E-Mail work?  I couldn't get anything to the address you have listed (and that you gave me).  Why are you using an E-Mail address that belongs to someone else?

Has anyone else attemtped to send him an E-Mail and see if it's a working E-Mail address?

Why can't you post 1, 2, or 3 pages of either this script or another one that you have written, so we can see what your writing looks like...and that way, can most likely offer you better advice, based on what we see?  There's absolutely nothing wrong with posting a few pages...think of it as a teaser, or the like.  No one is going to steal your ideas or anything like that.

You've got to be able to see that eveyone on this thread is here simply to help you.  There's nothing else in it for us.  If you want some help, you need to provide something that we can help with.  If you can't, or won't, there's nothing more to say here.

Quoted from usaking

I want help, but I don't want to show my script before it is completed. I just want verbal help, not anything else at all.

If you don't want anyone to read your unfinished script then I don't see anyone can help you. It's hard to offer verbal help when we don't know what exactely the problem is. Unless you can find a way to describe what help you want and with what, without showing, then, end of discussion me thinks...oh I just noticed Jeff beat me to the punch lol.

Quoted from usaking

Sandra, I have always been a self-motivator type of person. I am thankful I have this site to help me and all, but I prefer to do many things alone.

End of discussion. Amen...

Quoted from usaking

I sometimes start to sweat while writing my script because it is so difficult and frustrating.

Just to be clear, I was referring to your words as above. I guess I misinterpreted it as literal. Sorry, and good luck, however you decide to go with it.

Sandra

Quoted from michel

End of discussion. Amen...

Very fitting words here. Should have realized this way sooner I guess.

Sandra

Jeff, the email I am using belongs to my ex, who moved away. And yes, it is a working email. Why would I waste time posting a fake email? I have would have no motive in doing it.

As for help, I might as well just do it completely alone. I can't and won't let anyone see my script before it is done. There are tons of reasons why, but I don't want to get into detail about it. I am not going to bother posting a script on the site because I really don't feel like arguing about what is wrong and what is right anymore. All I care about is completing my script. I don't care about the world, friends, or anything at the moment. As long as my script is not finished, I will never be happy.

But just you wait. I will show all of you. In a few days my script will be completed and I will post it on the site. I will do it all on my own. Nothing is going to stop me and no one is going to stand in my way.

OooooooooooK then...

Let no man (or woman) stand in usaking's way of completing his mission.

We all will await the completion of the script.

Good luck with it!

Quoted from usaking

I am not going to bother posting a script on the site because I really don't feel like arguing about what is wrong and what is right anymore. All I care about is completing my script. I don't care about the world, friends, or anything at the moment.
(...) In a few days my script will be completed and I will post it on the site. I will do it all on my own. Nothing is going to stop me and no one is going to stand in my way.

Do you really think people here will feel like reading your script with those kinds of "kind words". No way from me mate!

I don't know what else I can add to this thread but, in case usaking reads this, I want to strongly recommend he post some of his work to the board and, more importantly, he listen to the criticisms his work will invariably receive.

I started writing about five years ago, and I spent the first four years working entirely on my own. A little over a year ago, I finally took the plunge and posted on this board. Dreamscale was one of the first people to take a look at one of my scripts and he was very upfront with his thoughts.

The good news? I used the right font and margins. The bad news? My characters were too verbose. The action prose was too long-winded. I constantly used the passive voice. The action scenes were not exciting. In short, everything about my script was wrong, wrong, wrong.

Did his criticism hurt? Of course it did! Nobody wants to be told something they've slaved over isn't up to snuff. Still, after reflecting on his thoughts for a day or two, I realized he was right. I still have a long way to go, but I think my writing has drastically improved thanks to Dreamscale's criticisms.

Look, we're all in this together. No one on this board is here to mock or belittle the others. Everyone here gives feedback and, yes, criticism because we're all trying to get the best out of one another.

Good luck with your script, usaking.

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