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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Thriller Scripts  /  Recompense
Posted by: Don, October 5th, 2009, 7:56pm
Recompense by Ron Aberdeen - Thriller - Revenge is best severed cold, but when you want to prove a point make it hot –- too hot for the US President to take and he will pay the ten billion dollar –- Recompense. 120 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: grademan, October 7th, 2009, 1:58pm; Reply: 1
Ron,

I was lukewarm on your “Recompense” script.

It is a very clean and straightforward script. It is definitely well written. I am not questioning that.

However, this script portrays the former SAS members as modern day robbing hoods. Everything came too easily for them.  I know that was the point, always in control of the game but would’ve liked to see them crack a bit.

The multiple use of a sniper rifle kept the victims at a distance. No fuss, no muss.

The ticking clock might have been better shown as days remaining – more of a countdown.

Recompense is not a common word which does not lends itself to a memorable title.

A few nits:  The time is not always formatted the same. Sometimes it is 6.45 or 6:45. Page 88 “there” should be “their”.

Gary
Posted by: Ron Aberdeen, October 12th, 2009, 4:21am; Reply: 2
Thank you for your input Gary, I agree they have it a bit too easy.
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