When In Paris by Nick Parker-Grange - Short, Crime, Comedy - Three small time criminals divulge in small talk at the Paris bar they are about to rob. 10 pages - pdf, format 8)

Nick...

Okay, this is what we got...

Wordpad of all things.  Try Celtix, I beileve they have PDF conversion.

70 percent dialogue about three men using vulgar language-- arguing about who's place to store the loot and insulting French people.  It does absolutely nothing to move your ten pages along.  Especially during the robbery, Dublin wants to stop and take a leak.

Your missing an INTERIOR or MINI SLUG as well.  Your ending made no sense whatsoever.  "PREPOSTEROUS!"

If you cutdown on some of the dialogue, mainly the arguing back and forth and have an off-duty cop having lunch at the cafe or several customers rise up and defeat the three characters, would work in this instance.  This could be done in under 12 pages.

I don't think you accomplished anything with this, as it is written.  Wish I could have been more positive.

Good Luck,

Ghostwriter 22

Nick.

I'm not going to comment on your script, at this stage it wouldn't be helpful and might even completely knock your confidence.

Advice... Read scripts - lots of them. see the way they're formated. If you have a look at the discussion boards you will see more than one section on just about everything you're going to need to know; Sticky etc.

Good luck for the future Nick

I read this too.

My advice is : try to break your long dialogues with some action between them.... Your characters need to do stuff.

Second dont use different font size between dialogue and action.

Trird as  malkolm and ghostrider said you have to format this properly! Read some scripts.... ( better read prodused scripts).