The Werewolves of World War Two

The Werewolves of World War Two by Aaron Berg - Action/Adventure - THE WEREWOLVES OF WORLD WAR TWO, an action/horror period piece that chronicles the adventures of a pack of allied werewolves into the heart of Germany. Fraught with intrigue and explosive, the supernatural rubs up against the highest echelons of military intelligence to battle the evil of the Third Reich. - pdf, format 8)

Aaron,

It reads like a Tom Clancy novel.  You might think that's a good thing, and it is, if you were writing a novel, but writing a SCREENPLAY is a whole new can of worms.  The difference between them is like NIGHT & DAY.

You formatting is jacked up.  Your missing some SLUGLINES and the spacing is off.

EXT.  TEXAS DESERT - DAY, This is correct, not the way you have it written.

You have characters moving from one scene to another without letting us know.  Speaking of Characters, yours show up out of thin air.  You don't even introduce them or anything whatsoever and the one you did introduce, even that was all wrong.

You've got to give us some idea and when you do introduce them for the first time, they need to be in all CAPS.

Example... JERRY TATE (20s), a wild haired country boy reigns his horse and so forth.

Your first action line is two paragraphs put together.  You have a series of action lines plus twenty lines long.  You need to break it up.

Rule of thumb, no more then four or five lines of action.  All scripts are written in "present tense."

Jack jumps over the beanstalk.  Not Jack just jumped over the beanstalk.

I'd suggest you read more scripts, read screenwriting books and get some software-- CELTIX, you can download it for free.

You might have a story here,  But to be honest, this masterpiece of yours, nobody's going to read it.

Good Luck,

Ghostwriter22

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