One Step Closer by John Ramos - Series, Comedy -  When a famous actress returns to the town where her first love still lives with the son who doesn't know that she exists, the game called life takes a funny yet unexpected turn. 42 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hi. I'm the writer and while I do su.ck at synopsis I feel you all should give this script a chance. While wrongly categorized in the shorts section, this TV pilot will make you laugh. I guarantee it. Just get past the first three pages, lol..

Just a tip for you, as you're a newbie here.  If you want people to read this, you're better off reading some scripts first and members will repay the favour.

I will. You have a script you want me to read then?

Hi John,

I agree there are a fair few funny moments in here, but they are massively marred by problems with the formatting etc. I'll give you a few examples:-

Get rid of things like 'ANGLE ON' 'Off camera' 'Camera quickly pans' etc. There is no need for camera instructions/angles in a screenplay.

In the description directly under the scene heading there's no need to have 'Harbinger's Diner', you've already got that point across in the heading.

Instead of 'Show an imags' (sic), it would work better if you simply put 'Montage'.

Use a different scene heading to show 'a three year old Julian crying'.

You also need to try and describe things a little more clearly for the reader, eg- NATHAN GETS A KICK OUT OF THAT- How do we know that? Try and show it somehow. 'She wears her clothes stylishly'- Just sounds a little odd.

I don't know what software this was originally written on, but it seems to me that everything is not quite centred, a little to the right (although I could be wrong). Also page numbers are on the bottom of each page, never encountered that before.

It might seem that I'm being harsh- trust me, I'm not. Things like this really distract from what is probably a great little script. Take a little time to read through other scripts, get a feel for the layout, format, descriptions etc.

If this is your first attempt, then it is a pretty good effort (like I said earlier, there are funny moments, but they are distracted from too much).

I would be really keen to see another version of this, I really would, but in it's current state, I couldn't get into the flow of it.

Craig