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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  Pine Valley
Posted by: Don, October 25th, 2009, 2:18pm
Pine Valley by Michelle Karman - Short, Horror - Five friends head up into the Smokey Mountains to Pine Valley, where they encounter the Spirit of the Night in its annual rampage of horror, bloodletting, and demonic terror...58 pages - fdr, format 8)
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), November 2nd, 2009, 6:14pm; Reply: 1
This needs to be put into PDF format.  Few can read it the way it is, thus no reads and posts.
Posted by: rendevous, November 2nd, 2009, 6:52pm; Reply: 2
Posted by: Baltis. (Guest), November 2nd, 2009, 7:53pm; Reply: 3
Has this any ties to the Soap "All My Children"? You got the makings of one...
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), November 2nd, 2009, 7:57pm; Reply: 4
I'm not going to downloading any software to read a script.  If the writer wants to repost it so it can be read by all, I'll give it a look.  Otherwise...no go, bro.
Posted by: Baltis. (Guest), November 2nd, 2009, 8:01pm; Reply: 5
I opened it up in Final Draft 7 and, let me tell ya Jeff... you're not missing much. Other than a wealth of novice writing.  For instance --

No title page

Then on Page 1

Inside the SUV are five people. They are ENRIQUE, couples BAPTISTE and CONNIE, her sister LYNDA, and cousin ADAIR. Enrique wears a Pink Floyd T-shirt while Baptiste sports Lenny Kravitz. Connie’s in a blouse and short skirt, Lynda in a UNC Charlotte sweatshirt over jeans, while Adair is dressed entirely in black. Baptiste is driving and Connie sits next to him. Enrique, Lynda and Adair are in back.  The radio is playing but music can barely be heard through static that continuously breaks up the connection.

ADAIR
Turn that noise off.
Connie switches off the radio.
ENRIQUE
Bap, where the fudge are we?
BAPTISTE
Almost there, buddy...almost there.
LYNDA
We’re probably lost.

--
And it gets worse, believe me. The dialogue is pretty stiff and flat... I got to page 10 and called it done. Skip it.
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), November 2nd, 2009, 8:05pm; Reply: 6
Oh boy!  Thanks, Balt.  You just saved me an hour or so, and even though I'm not ure right now what I'll do with that hour, I'm pretty sure I can find something more productive.

That sounds absolutely HORRENDOUS!  TERRIBLE!  What's with those names?  And "fudge"?  Oh my...NEXT!
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