Smile Now - Print Topic

Posted by: Don, December 1st, 2009, 11:00pm

Smile Now by Ismael Gonzalez (izzy) - Action/Adventure - A Joker Fan Film: A Joker fan of the Dark Knight gets an unsuspected visit from a sociopath on the verge of snapping. 8 pages - pdf, format 8)

Posted by: Trojan, December 2nd, 2009, 9:16am; Reply: 1

WTF? This makes no sense and has so many errors it is ridiculous. I have no idea why you thought it was a good idea to keep changing the colour of your font, it is incredibly annoying.

Sorry but this doesn't work on any level.

Posted by: usaking, December 8th, 2009, 10:05am; Reply: 2

I have to agree with Trojan.

What is with your logline? "A Joker fan of the Dark Knight..." - Huh? Is he a fan of the joker or The Dark Knight? I don't understand.

Right when I opened up your script, the very first page was wrong. Where is the title page? You can't just have no title page and start a story.

I have no clue at all what Kenny or Curly look like. The only thing I do know is that Curly is wearing the joker mask, yet, i don't care to read on to know why he is wearing the mask.

I started skipping around pages and noticed that huge clunk of dialogue with Kenny on page 4. It should be cut down. And why is it in blue?

Down further I see now the dialogue is red. This is starting to feel more like a mushroom trip more than a story.

There are many other things wrong, but these are the big ones. You should look at some scripts on SS and see what to do and what not to do.

Posted by: albinopenguin, December 10th, 2009, 12:29am; Reply: 3

haha this script is crazy, and definitely not in the good way. when i read the logline, i was hoping to read a script parodying everyone who tries to act and look like the joker. but when i read it, i got the idea that you were actually serious about the subject matter - which is the wrong tone entirely. so what do i recommend? read some of the scripts here on SS and start from scratch. you can try the same subject matter, but i wouldnt recommend it. no one wants to read a script about pathetic fanboys unless its funny or really interesting - because all you have to do is look around yourself to find a boring loser who likes to play dress up while no ones watching. then again, it sounds like i might be getting something here...