Love Zombies by John Barrett - Short, Horror - An experiment to create the next generation erectile dysfunction drug goes awry and zombies run rampant. 14 pages - pdf, format 8)

I thought this script has an incredible premise, but you really didn't follow through with.  Sure, there were boinking zombies, but it turned out just being a cliche zombie script with the same old we-must-fight-the-zombies-or-become-premise.  Throw in some bad jokes and mix well.

By the way, WTF are medieval weapons and armor doing in a pharmaceutical company?  Seriously!

Think the story through and rewrite it.  There's potential in it. It just needs to be fleshed out a little better.

Phil

Crazy script.  But I was glad to see the happy ending.  It made me laugh.  
A few things that really stood out for me, you've got some big blocks of action.  Shoudn't be more than four lines if you can help it.   Also, Page 1) Dr. Schleider says I'm dead tired, twice.  I'm guessing that's a mistake.   Also the gunshots don't need to be KERBLAM and Acosta's dialogue definitely shouldn't be written in actual Spanish.  Just write she speaks something in SPANISH.   Problem solved.  Overall, it was pretty entertaining for what it was.  

I'm also surprised that John didn't include a comment about the zombies being stiff... you know, from the meds.


Phil