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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  Trailer People
Posted by: Don, September 15th, 2010, 7:48pm
Trailer People by Richard Hubley & Rick Hubley II - Short, Thriller - In the Louisiana swamps, even if someone can hear you scream, no one really cares. 13 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), September 15th, 2010, 8:45pm; Reply: 1
I got about five or six pages through this when I stopped.  This script is extremely heavy in detail and direction.  And WTF is with all those hyphens?

I don't know what you guys were trying to do here, but I've seen your names on other recently posted scripts here.  I'm going to guess these scripts have the same problems.

I recommend that you read some scripts, here, and get a better idea on how to format.


Phil
Posted by: Baltis. (Guest), September 16th, 2010, 3:00am; Reply: 2
http://www.mdn.fm/files/201968_ijxtv/Untitled1.pdf

Believe it or not, in the past, I've made money doing screenplay critiques not unlike this here.  Sometimes I do them as favors;If I like you or know you.  Sometimes I don't.  Download this within 24 hours, because I'll delete it off MDN in that time.  This is One page of your screenplay, marked with the errors it suffers from.  

I believe you have a story here.  It's just so weighted down with flaws it's going to be hard for someone to make it through it without stopping every few seconds because of the hang ups I've pointed out.  Phil has also addressed the issues at hand.

The art of proper format can be obtained... It just takes time.
Posted by: h140738, November 27th, 2010, 10:07pm; Reply: 3
This is the second draft.  Thanks Phil Clark for your comments and thanks to Baltis for your written critque.  It helped immensely.
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