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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  Chicken Hunting
Posted by: Don, October 15th, 2010, 5:01pm
Chicken Hunting by Joshua C. Geishert - Short, Comedy - A man comes home to find his wife brutally murdered by chickens. 7 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: screenrider (Guest), October 15th, 2010, 5:11pm; Reply: 1
This one wins the prize for the funniest short I've read in a long while.  Grindhouse hilarious.

Great job.  I'm still laughing.

Buckah!
Posted by: Violent Josh, October 15th, 2010, 6:14pm; Reply: 2
Lol thanks man. Wrote this one a few years back. It's got it's stupid little problems, and is by and large unfilmable, but I think it's a fun read.
Posted by: stevie, October 16th, 2010, 5:06am; Reply: 3
Yeah, that was pretty funny Josh!

I would make 2 changes :  have 'Buckah' written as Buck-ah' maybe. At first I thought the chook was saying 'bugger'!

And i would have 'henocide' instead of 'genocide'...

Great comedy!

Cheers stevie
Posted by: rendevous, October 16th, 2010, 5:12am; Reply: 4
This title is almost as good as mine. Sadly it's better, but I couldn't possibly admit that. Not really. Not until you buy me a drink. And a chicken dinner.

Fast read. Ludicrious and enjoyable. As many horrors try and fail to be. I'd say it seems to be a bit off from the criteria. If you listen carefully you can hear a pot calling a kettle black. Nevertheless, enjoyed it very much.

I watched Eraserhead the other day. Another springs to mind. A sketch with human size chickens, I think it had Ruby Wax in it. Too early in the morning for clearer recall.

Suffice to say, good work. KFC will look different for at least a week.

R ox

EDIT: It definitely is early in the morning. Ignore my comments about not fitting criteria and all that. Assumed this was OWC. I would edit to make myself look good, but I need a cup of tea and to walk me dog. Plus, it's funnier if I leave them.
Posted by: jackx, October 16th, 2010, 5:01pm; Reply: 5
He keeps shotgun shells in the freezer?

Haha funny stuff.  But why a security guard and not a policeman?
Personally I was picturing it in wallace and gromit claymation, but very graphically bloody and gutty.
good stuff.
Posted by: n7 (Guest), October 16th, 2010, 5:39pm; Reply: 6
Hey Josh,
Well done. One of the funniest things I've read in awhile. My favorite scene would have to be the Man slowly eyeing the security guard with the "Buckah" at the end. The slow build up there led to a great payoff.
No real gripes about anything, also liked how you used very minimal dialogue.
Look forward to reading more of yours in the future.
Nate
Posted by: BRBellerophon, November 10th, 2010, 6:31am; Reply: 7
Funniest script I've ever read, and it has the single best line in all of comedy.

CHICKEN (O.S)
Buckah.

I like your first page the most. I can almost imagine the chicken's head slowly popping up behind the kitchen table, and the stupid look of those black beady eyes.

Stellar ending too. Some trippy stuff when he hears the OFFICER say Buckah. A thought popped up in my head while I was reading the montage, the part when the Turkey was shot by mistake. I take this to mean that when a race  goes against a race, other people get hurt as collateral damage. Just saying.

If this was made into a short movie it might raise some problems with Animal Rights groups but it would be one of the most funny and controversial shorts made.

I've saved this on my computer, I hope you don't mind.
Posted by: Thornton, November 10th, 2010, 7:15am; Reply: 8
That is a v.funny story.

Some great imagery in there; a good pace and well told.

All in all, well done!
Posted by: Thornton, November 10th, 2010, 7:17am; Reply: 9
btw - great title and logline!
Posted by: Electric Dreamer, November 10th, 2010, 10:30am; Reply: 10
Hey Josh.

There's feed bucket loads of stuff here that crack me up.
Have to say my favorite is your protag huffing gun discharge. EPIC!
Where the hell did you come up with that?
Your opening visuals are efficient and strong. Head bobbing chicken for the win.
It was doubly bizarre reading while listening to the Red Army Chorus belt out war tunes!
I only had two minor quibbles:
1) The road runner food trap was not up to the rest of your ingenuity.
2) The old couple execution is begging for a one liner, something like...

Old woman speaks into her cell phone.

OLD WOMAN
Hello....police?

Man grits his teeth through curled lips. He raises the shotgun.

MAN
Shut your chicken lips.

OLD MAN
Chicken don't got lips, asshole.

BLAM! BLAM!

Pay no mind to me, its early and I'm listening to the Russian military band.


Regards,
E.D.
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