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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Horror Scripts  /  Sarco
Posted by: Don, October 29th, 2010, 9:23pm
Sarco by George Galanakis - Horror - On the way to their honeymoon in Mexico, a newlywed couple checks into an isolated motel. Nothing is what it seems, as the motel proves to be a death trap set by a family of cannibals, who capture unsuspecting travelers to satisfy their man-eating needs.  90 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: Baltis. (Guest), October 29th, 2010, 9:28pm; Reply: 1
Sounds just like Motel Hell... I mean, literally and to a T too.  I'll check it out and report back here my findings.  Not in another post as to not clutter up the thread but right here, Jackson.  Look out for it.   :o

Edit:

So I'm back and... What you got here is what I feared.  A Motel Hell rip off, but... A pretty damn good one.  Actually, a little better than it is in reality, to be honest.  It's Motel Hell without the stupid cultivating humans for food through tubes junk.  But, with that said, it's rough around the edges.  You're dialog is a little stiff at times and your formating, while easy to read, isn't exactly brimming with creativity.  And that can be a good thing because it reads straight forward.  It reads how it plays out but there is a tad more to screenwriting than that at times.  You don't utilize all of your talents to really sell us on any given scene.  You don't pull the reader in fully.

I walked away from this script with liking it for what it is but cussing its short comings too.  I do feel you spent too much time trying to replicate and not innovate.  Your would be hero seems to be plucked out of The Hills Have eyes and just about every other horror movie, but that, again, isn't necessarily a bad thing rather than just "A" thing.  I also tend to believe you watched a lot of Vacancy 1 and 2 before sitting down to write it.

But, to be honest, this really could be the remake of Motel Hell if someone wanted to take the initiative.  It's very similar, but it's also very new and cutting edge.  I'd tighten the dialog chains up and wrangle in your dry action delivery and see where it takes ya.  Some of your dialog is unnecessary and stiff.  It reads like a bad Edie Haskel impression.  But... It's one of the better horror scripts floating around here as of late and I'd recommended it to anyone who's a fan of the genre... on the soul purpose that it gets a few key elements right.  Of course it gets alot of things wrong along the way too, though.

Catch 22.
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