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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  Tomorrow III: The Ride
Posted by: Don, November 6th, 2010, 6:58am
Tomorrow III: The Ride by R.E. McManus - Short - Hugh and Matilda hit the road for a ride.  He takes her somewhere she wasn't expecting. 7 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: screenrider (Guest), November 6th, 2010, 12:08pm; Reply: 1
Personally, I hope the bull impales Hugh like a southern shiskabob.   But can he save the dog!?  I guess we'll just have to wait for the next episode to find out.

Interesting premise you've got going on here, Ren.   Your Irish writing style seems somewhat disjointed in places, but a quick read nonetheless.  I like the way you left us with a cliffhanger.   As much as I hate to admit it, I look forward to the next installment.
Posted by: rendevous, November 7th, 2010, 4:28pm; Reply: 2
Thanks SR.

T4 is being done despite my holidays. Not sure what you mean by disjointed. Us Irish rarely do things by the book. That would be too easy.

I do have plans for Hugh and Matilda. And the dog. And even maybe Phil.

R ox
Posted by: RayW, November 9th, 2010, 12:51pm; Reply: 3
Howdy, Big R

I'm daft.
For awhile I've been reading your remarks on "T3 coming soon" and kept thinking "Terminator III".
Sometimes... it's just difficult.
Your generosity is appreciated.

Anywho...

PDF pg 2 - Do the Eire folk really spell the rubber things on a car's wheel t-Y-r-e?
Okey doke.
We use an I instead of a Y, but... whatever.
(I could film it, and that's the important part.)

PDF pg 3
HUGH
Fuck’s sake. Big fecking stupid
slab of f#cking meat. Moo you too,
ya twat. I’m gonna eat your sister
tonight, you... you horrible big
bovine barstard! BASTARD!

Do yer folk switch back an' forth between fecking and f#cking and barstard and bastard?
I just got nailed on a stuttering character and was wondering if local language flavors received the same treatment: Don't.

HUGH
See this?
(grabs his leather jacket)
That’s yer mam’s arse, that is. My
shoes are made outta your dad’s
belly, you big daft black bollocks,
ya.

LMFAO!
You've been secretly recording me in my car, haven't you?
Scary.

I wanna get the fuck outta
here, girl. Right now.

I can understand posh muppet getting her knickers in a knot, but don't really get why Hugh is so rent.
Also, they're going in, not out, as they've yet to arrive at their destination.
Maybe "I wanna get this done sooner than you, Tills."

Pg 7
MATILDA
Hugh, Hugh! Be careful! It’s not a
cow. It’s a bull.
HUGH
(quietly)
I can fucking see that, you dizzy
bint.

OMG.
I'm Hugh.

Love it when folk tell me the incredibly effing obvious.
I try to let them know how much I appreciate their grasp of it.


Right nice li'l tail... er tail--
D@MMIT!
... tale you 'ave there, Rendevous.

TIV(4): with baited breath, we wait.
Posted by: rendevous, November 12th, 2010, 6:55pm; Reply: 4
Ah, RW.

Been away, getting my big conk sunburnt. That's my nose, not me erm...

The T2 / T3 business is deliberate on my part, that's me intention, not my erm.. Sorry.

And, if any of these should get made I'll be making certain McG has absolutely nothing to do with them. And I'm a man of my word, like Heath was. Did I ever tell you about these scars?

There's no 'i' in the proper 'bated'. But people do it so wrong so often it's no common usage. God, I can be such a tosser. And I remember I used to be such a nice guy.

Tyre does not have an 'i' in it. That's for Yanks only, us Micks and Brits spell it properly. The Americans tried to simplify English, spelling 'through' as 'thru'. In fact they made it even more complicated.

Sometimes in dialogue I take liberties with spellings, for emphasis. I'm a special case. Often I don't get away with it.

Yes, I've been bugging your car and bedroom for months. You naughty boy, you.

So rent? Hugh, as far as he's concerned is stuck with some daft bint while trying to do what he needs to on holiday. The woman, to him, is a liability. Hence his attitude. He likes her, but she really pisses him off.

The reason he says 'I wanna get the f*** outta here, girl. Right now.' rather that your suggestion is becuase it's exactly want he wants to do. Your suggestion implies consideration and almost niceness, especially using 'Tills'. Nice idea, but I was thinking it went different. Hugh ain't in a good mood at that point.

Thank you for the read and review. Keep it cooking.

R ox
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