Long Shadow Woman by Craig Clyde (screenrtr) - Bio, Adventure - Turn of the century Arizona.  An outcast woman and a wounded Apache boy.  One will teach.  One will learn.  Both will change. 108 pages   - pdf, format 8)

Based on a True Story

Craig was recently interviewed on SimplyScripts Radio.

Clyde.

The most enjoyable script I have read in a long time.  I could feel the desert sand in my boots.

Thanks for posting.

Clyde,

Thanks for posting your script.
I just wrapped up the first act.
I'm looking forward to getting back to your story as time allows.
I wanted to say that I appreciate the cadence of your script.
I feel a sense of pace and the time period pouring from your words.
It's subtle and there's a quiet elegance to it. It helps me get into your story.

Thanks so much for sharing, I'm excited to see how this one turns out!

Regards,
E.D.

Clyde,

I have to say this is a fine read. Your command of pacing and language is stalwart.
Maggie in my mind, looked and sounded like Frances Sternhagen in "Outland".
I don't know if that makes any sense at all, but there it is.

It's quite a story and honestly the third act feels a bit truncated.
I enjoyed your characters so much, I felt like some arcs got a bit under foot.
I am not a fan of montage or voice over heavy stories, but this one works.
I didn't understand how the soldiers found the hidden Apache.
Did Maggie leave an unintentional blatant trail or something?
There were shades of "Dances with Wolves" in the third act.
But you have the virtue of a true story on your side, so it didn't phase me at all.
I could see this going on a bit longer and perhaps a longer koda.
I wanted more resolution with all your great characters.
It's more of a compliment than a complaint, hope it reads that way.

Thank again for sharing, best of luck with all your endeavors.

Regards,
E.D.

Must say, I wasn't drawn by the logline of this. It sounded trite, which is a such shame for such a GORGEOUS story!  Elegant, terse, vivid - we're with her every moment - and very moving. Plus fresh and original. We get fascinating insights on that other side of the American Indian story - the integrating and meshing with them that also went on. I have Cherokee blood myself and have often heard other 'white' Americans admit that they have Crow, Blackfoot, or other Indian ancestors in their family tree. "Dancing with Wolves", "The Last of the Mohicans" show that too, but the focus or upshot is always on the 'exterminations' or 'disappearance' of the tribes. I suspect however there were far more Maggies than we realize, and I just loved 'seeing' one, at last!  Great subject - hope it gets made!

On the helpful feedback front - two tiny quibbles. On pg 89, there were two bits (the hunting for deer scene & return, and 'the children are progressing in school' bit) that were not illustrated by anything concrete (ie, how do we know?) Very minor fixes that I mainly noticed because you'd done such a fabulous job of avoiding that till then!
Also - watch your "it's".  "It's" is a contraction of "it is". The possesive form is "its" -
no apostrophe. An editor dressed me down for that years ago, so I noticed!  Best of luck, Craig!  A brilliant and very deserving story.