The Business by Amit Maharaj - Drama - The Business is the story of people across different countries whose lives come together in the black market of the world through the drug business, oil, and terrorism.  132 pages - rtf, format 8)

Hi Amit. I know you've given us a rtf format script here... and I really am not keen on that (try pdf or fdr format). Despite myself I'll give it a read and post you my thoughts.

David.

Had a look at it. I'm not going to read past the first page or two.

Your formatting leaves much to be desired. Here are some quick opinions:

1) Is this a Shooting Script? If not, don't tell the reader about specific camera shots.
2) Format. You can't expect a reader to wade through your first couple of pages when the text is one MASS of text. After the initial Voice Overs the script descends into an ABYSS of descriptive enslavement. On page 3 (I think...) there are three lines (three lines!) of non-descriptive text. Two of them are directions for camera shots.

So sorry, but I'm not going further. Whilst I am not a brilliant screenwriter by any means I am a fluent reader of english. I cannot read this.

I would suggest that you have a look around at other scripts here and elsewhere and compare your screenplay. Then fix-up the problems that prevent the reading of your work and PM me back. The subject matter and story-line seem interesting. But right now, I am not going to spend my time.

Looking forward to reading it though.

I don't know if you can come up with a worse title for your script than "The Business."
Even "The Black Market," as your logline suggests, would be much better than the current one.