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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort  /  The Dark: It Gazes Back
Posted by: mcornetto (Guest), December 29th, 2010, 10:40pm


A writer struggles with a dangerous obsession. Remember, He's always watching.

Don’t forget to LIKE The Dark on Facebook.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Dark/137592462958475

Check out the script here
http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/ItGazesBack.pdf
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), December 29th, 2010, 11:00pm; Reply: 1
While I thought the story went on a bit, I really enjoyed the animation.  You're getting much better with Machinima, Cornetto.  Things seem to be flowing better and smoother with each one you make.


Phil
Posted by: jwent6688, December 29th, 2010, 11:24pm; Reply: 2
There are some great moments in this one. The shadow opening it's eyes in the wall paper were one. That creeped me out even having read the script.

Thought Simon's time alone ran a bit long. Love the music you chose, But, I thought some silence during Simon's demise would've added some tension.

impressive. Most comments on youtube seem to like it so far... bad for business? Can't wait to see the rest. I still feel Cam's is the best of this bunch. Although Ass Spider is gonna turn some heads. Psst... Don't change the title. It's a head turner.


James
Posted by: RayW, December 29th, 2010, 11:32pm; Reply: 3
Wow.
Your animation skills are getting so much better.
I love what you achieved with the dinner scene. Mucho complex-o.

Very good.
Posted by: Grandma Bear, December 29th, 2010, 11:40pm; Reply: 4
WOW!.......
Posted by: Ryan1, December 29th, 2010, 11:56pm; Reply: 5
Cool animation, great voice work on this one.
Posted by: JonnyBoy, December 30th, 2010, 5:32am; Reply: 6
Really like the way this turned out. The comments have generally been great too!

- "this could have some potench. Wouldn't mind seeing a legit movie of this"
- "awesome"
- "great story!"
- "so i had to be watching this in the dark, and my cat starts moving around...im definitely turning on the lights!"
- "Now I'm kinda scare because I'm all by myself until next year"
- "awesomely creepy"
- "that was pretty good"
- "good story"
- "this is wonderful and unique i love it please keep making videos like this :)"
- "this was great! i thought it was really creative, keep em coming :)"
- "awesome i love these vids its like twilight zone with games"
- "that was really creepy lol!"

But then, of course...

- "well that was about as enjoyable as applying a cheese greater [sic] to my scrotum"

Ah well, can't please 'em all. :)

Thanks again for this, Michael! Proud to have my name attached to this series.
Posted by: RayW, December 30th, 2010, 9:49am; Reply: 7
I did a youtube search for IT GAZES BACK for a look at the comments:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=it+gazes+back&aq=f
... and got distracted with this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63j5GBWDBxo
Looks like there's plenty more.
(flat affect) Oh goody.

Um... yeah.
I don't know.
People are weird.

Anyway...
youtube link to your show "The Dark: It Gazes Back (Moviestorm Machinima)":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOTqtmAUL9k
All comments:
http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments=1&v=fOTqtmAUL9k
Posted by: Electric Dreamer, December 30th, 2010, 10:48am; Reply: 8
Your shot composition skills are greatly improved here.
This one feels like much more cinematic than the previous efforts.
It's amazing how having a more active background immerses one in the story.
It's like a license to give yourself over to the material.

I like the story. But I didn't buy Simon's reversal.
He went from I'm Gonna Git You Sucka to Please Don't Kill Me pretty fast.
Simon's alone time could be tighter, quicker edits showing the breakdown.

This is a superior effort and I really look forward to seeing more of your work.
It's a pleasure watching your skill set improve with each episode.

Regards,
E.D.
Posted by: mcornetto (Guest), December 30th, 2010, 6:18pm; Reply: 9
Thanks for watching everyone.  Glad you all enjoyed this one.   I took a slightly different approach with this one but all the episodes are and will be different.  

What surprises me the most is the Machinima.com response.  I expected this to really bomb on the channel, it's fairly slowly told and the music is classical.  Besides someone laying in a pool of blood at the beginning there isn't any violence.  Yet for some reason the likes outnumber the dislikes on this video and it's racking up quite a number of views.  Pleased about all that but completely confused by it.

Anyway, onto the next one for me.    
Posted by: Mr.Z, December 30th, 2010, 6:21pm; Reply: 10
You're one busy dude, Mr. Cornetto. Congrats on getting another one done!
Posted by: Sandra Elstree., December 30th, 2010, 6:35pm; Reply: 11

Hello Michael,

The images were good and I loved the variance in tone of color as the blue in the hall with the mother entering upon the nursery.

One thing I really felt needed work was the gentleman doing most of the voice over. He continually drew me out because I felt he wasn't projecting at all. His voice was weak and it felt and sounded like only a read, like his breath barely escaped his mouth with any intensity. Kind of like when you're lying in bed, very tired and yet must make some kind of attempt at sound.

Loved the music and the concept. The whole tone of the piece otherwise jived with me.

Sandra
Posted by: Electric Dreamer, December 30th, 2010, 7:13pm; Reply: 12

Quoted from mcornetto
Thanks for watching everyone.  Glad you all enjoyed this one.   I took a slightly different approach with this one but all the episodes are and will be different.  

What surprises me the most is the Machinima.com response.  I expected this to really bomb on the channel, it's fairly slowly told and the music is classical.  Besides someone laying in a pool of blood at the beginning there isn't any violence.  Yet for some reason the likes outnumber the dislikes on this video and it's racking up quite a number of views.  Pleased about all that but completely confused by it.

Anyway, onto the next one for me.    


Nobody knows anything.
- William Goldman

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Goldman

;)

E.D.
Posted by: Scar Tissue Films, December 31st, 2010, 7:51am; Reply: 13

Quoted from mcornetto
Thanks for watching everyone.  Glad you all enjoyed this one.   I took a slightly different approach with this one but all the episodes are and will be different.  

What surprises me the most is the Machinima.com response.  I expected this to really bomb on the channel, it's fairly slowly told and the music is classical.  Besides someone laying in a pool of blood at the beginning there isn't any violence.  Yet for some reason the likes outnumber the dislikes on this video and it's racking up quite a number of views.  Pleased about all that but completely confused by it.

Anyway, onto the next one for me.    


Maybe people are more aware of what the Dark is now, so the haters who want computer games know not to watch it, whilst those that enjoyed the previous ones watched this as well.

Great work by the way. Some of the backgrounds (especially the cemetary) were remarkably good.

You're getting really good at this.
Posted by: stevie, December 31st, 2010, 4:13pm; Reply: 14
More great work, MC.  This one had a more 'normal' feel to it but that made it stronger.
I loved all the small detail, like the joggers going past the cafe - excellent.
Posted by: ghost and_ghostie gal, December 31st, 2010, 8:44pm; Reply: 15
Excellent work again MC.  Can't wait to see what you do with the others.  

Ghost
Posted by: Andrew, December 31st, 2010, 9:15pm; Reply: 16
Congratulations, guys.
Posted by: grademan, January 2nd, 2011, 12:53pm; Reply: 17
MC,

I liked the long shot to a close up in the cemetery. I went wow!  Good job!

Gary
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), January 3rd, 2011, 12:16pm; Reply: 18
Great work, Cornie!

I agree with a few others that this had a much more cinematic feel to it.  The music worked very well with the feel and flow.

BUT, I hate to say it, but I thought it was quite dull over all, story-wise.  I disliked all the V.O., and really didn't get much of anything out of it.  I don't really even recall the script itself, but I bet I had similar comments after reading it.

Oh well, as we all know, you can't please all of 'em, all of the time.  If you could, things would really get dull fast.

Great work, guys!
Posted by: screenrider (Guest), February 20th, 2011, 8:48pm; Reply: 19
This was Brilliant with a capital B.

Great job.
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