A Company of Parrots by Harris Tobias - Thriller - Uncovering the bird smuggling ring was the easy part. Getting romantically involved with the local sheriff and becoming the target of a brutal criminal underworld proved to be a lot harder for Fish & Wildlife Investigator, Rhoda Deerwalker to deal with. 90 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hey Harris. I had time to read the first 10 pages, will dig in some more if you want me to, can PM if you like. Here's some quick feedback.

Let me begin by telling you I am new to screen writing, so take that for what it's worth. I am very much at the learning stage. There were some technical mistakes, easy to fix, that jumped out, and would probably discourage the more veteran writers from reading.

It seems you have adapted this from your novel. By the way, very impressive if you have completed a novel. Anyway, what happens in a movie is a little different. In the second scene, Bill wakes up, brushes his teeth, shaves, and has breakfast. That can happen in a novel, but not a movie. I am sure this kind of stuff results just from your adapting from one form to the other, but maybe try to watch for it.

Also, at beginning, maybe point out that Bill and Greer are cops so we know they are not paramedics, since an ambulance is there.

Not sure what program you are using, but there some formatting issues.

Don't forget to cap new characters.

Harris, I've done similar things, it's a process. I've only been writing a couple months, and one of the things I have had to do is shorten dialogues. I think that would help here too. Again, this may be a problem moving from novel to screenplay.

Ok man, later.