The Shadow of Death by Tanner Moody - Short, Supernatural Western - The Shadow of death follows the telling of a myth about a man who is not a man.  The legend says that the man seeks the lives of certain unlucky individuals, and in The Shadow of Death, the man being told the story just so happens to be an unlucky individual. 8 pages - pdf, format 8)

Tanner,

This was impressive for what it was.   You painted the picture perfectly, IMO.   Short, sweet, simple.   It flowed.    I hope to see more of your stuff.  

Great job

My only criticism is the logline.   Way too much info.

I agree withSR the logline is a monster. If you're still about Tanner, you might want to work on that if you haven't done so already.

I been hammered in the past for not having a FADE IN or FADE IN left justified. I have since conceded, it does not take much effort to put it in- and it is one less thing to harp on. You also want to turn off/get rid of the continueds. They can get distracting now and then.

There were two basic thigs about this that I didn't like. One is the SLUGS, which appearently leave out DAY or NIGHT. On p5, you tell us it is night, but the slugline does not have NIGHT (or any other time) with it; the blocks of text start getting more noticeable on p6.

Overall, it isn't too bad but it needs some TLC

This is a solid effort here.  The action and dialogue flow well.  However, some of you actions blocks were too long.  Split them up and this will read even smoother.  Keep up the good work!