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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Questions or Comments  /  Question about Scene heading and description
Posted by: Conz, March 4th, 2011, 10:34pm
quick one.

do i always need a line of description or action after a scene heading?  yes, right?  You can just drop an "INT. HOUSE - DAY" and then get right to dialogue right?  even if the room is already established?  always confuses me and I feel like i end up tossing in pointless lines of description.

thanks
Posted by: Baltis. (Guest), March 4th, 2011, 10:39pm; Reply: 1
I guess you could... I wouldn't for the sake of it being tacky and sloppy.  Lazy, really.
Posted by: Conz, March 4th, 2011, 10:45pm; Reply: 2
lazy just going right into the dialogue?  i agree.  im reading a script now and it's doing that a lot.  It's clearly an early draft, but it's a script in development by a famous writer.
Posted by: ghost and_ghostie gal, March 4th, 2011, 10:51pm; Reply: 3

Quoted from Conz

do i always need a line of description or action after a scene heading?  yes, right?  You should always follow a scene heading with a line of action.

You can just drop an "INT. HOUSE - DAY" and then get right to dialogue right? You could, but I wouldn't recommend that.


Oh yeah... I read this somewhere... "the fact that you've seen professionals write poorly is no reason for you to imitate them."  ComicBent.

Ghost
Posted by: Baltis. (Guest), March 4th, 2011, 10:52pm; Reply: 4
Then go for it.  I mean, you said yourself... Dude's an experienced writer.  Who can argue that..............?
Posted by: Conz, March 4th, 2011, 10:55pm; Reply: 5
was that sarcasm?  
Posted by: Baltis. (Guest), March 4th, 2011, 11:06pm; Reply: 6
not really... You asked,     I gave my opinion on the subject, you rebuffed what I said, I told you to do it his way.  Afterall, he's a prowriter.
Posted by: Conz, March 4th, 2011, 11:15pm; Reply: 7
still sounds like sarcasm.  no big deal, thanks
Posted by: RayW, March 4th, 2011, 11:18pm; Reply: 8
Conz -

I'm only a half nube myself, so consider that with the following.

There's generally two, maybe three, standards for screenwriting:

1 - spec screenplays by folks trying to get into the biz.
These gotta do a cake walk of shaving, getting haircuts, brushing teeth, wearing clean clothes, speaking in proper sentences, polite "Yes, ma'am"s and "No, sir"s, so on and so forth.
It's dating.
That's generally the lot of us here.
For spec screenplays "YES", scene headings, often referred to as slug lines, are properly followed immediately with a brief action line describing the scene, characters and situation BEFORE any dialog occurs, no matter how superflous and unneccessary the action line is.

2 - pro screenplays by folks who have working relationships with other's already in the biz.
These aren't piles of gibberish, but the rules are relaxed some. This is where you'll see all sorts of format and style "transgressions", but then again, regular f#ck-buddies don't often greet each other with "Hello, Steven. Thank you for your time. It's a pleasure to see you today". So...
That's generally not us here.
We're all mostly still dating.

3 - "I'm gonna shoot this myself, what do you guys think"? screenplays.
Um... these are... who cares.
I don't even know why people drop these off here, but they do.
"Sure! It looks great. It's gold. Gopherit."
Format's a disaster.
No one can tell WTH is going on in the story.
Doesn't matter anyway.
If they don't care I don't know why I should.

So, "Yes".
Scene headers/slug lines are properly followed by a action line describing the setting before any dialog begins.

INT. HOME OFFICE - NIGHT

Ray sits at his antiquated PC beating the keyboard with a hammer.

                  RAY
     Miserable, monkey shite piece
     of gorilla snot! What's this blue
     screen rubbish!

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Mrs. Ray sits overly patient in bed. P!ssed, really.

                  MRS. RAY
      When is that bloody Atavan
      going to kick in?

INT. HOME OFFICE - NIGHT

The madman continues punishing the keyboard.

                  RAY
     Stupid! Rotten! Bill Gates
     should rot in h3ll!



Something like that.
Each and every single time.
Posted by: Conz, March 5th, 2011, 12:08am; Reply: 9
after reading the whole thing, i think it was just a crappy first draft.  character names changed midway through the script, there were missing words, etc.  sloppiest "pro" script i"ve ever read, pretty good though.  Fully expect the theatrical release to be a lot different.

it was "Ted" by Seth McFarlane btw
Posted by: Sandra Elstree., March 5th, 2011, 12:18am; Reply: 10

Quoted from Conz
lazy just going right into the dialogue?  i agree.  im reading a script now and it's doing that a lot.  It's clearly an early draft, but it's a script in development by a famous writer.


I don't think it's a matter of being lazy.

For those who ask:

We're discussing the need for an action/black business line before dialogue and after the slugline.

I think the main function of this is to orient the reader. More than that, it's to orient the viewer to time and space.

Imagine...

You're Somewhere. Maybe rolling hills of green and a pretty rainbow sliding down in the sky... (that's where I want to be)...

And all of a sudden:

Hey, Groombus! You wanna snort a line before ya say I do?

**It's a little bit sharp in most cases. And, I think:

Having an image that we already know that gives us a sense of time and place helps the audience. So maybe it's an Egyptian cat ornament on the mantel, or a couch covered by granny's crochet work... whatever it is...

The images can pull us back and give us a sense of that time and space.

So...

If a writer isn't doing that, then it's probably that they just don't know yet. They're probably not being lazy. They just need to learn about that aspect of screenwriting:

**Ways to depict and to shift time and space.

In a time travel script, it would be essential to consider these psychic/visual triggers.

Sandra
Posted by: Sandra Elstree., March 5th, 2011, 12:55am; Reply: 11

Quoted from RayW
Conz -

I'm only a half nube myself, so consider that with the following.

There's generally two, maybe three, standards for screenwriting:

1 - spec screenplays by folks trying to get into the biz.
These gotta do a cake walk of shaving, getting haircuts, brushing teeth, wearing clean clothes, speaking in proper sentences, polite "Yes, ma'am"s and "No, sir"s, so on and so forth.
It's dating.
That's generally the lot of us here.
For spec screenplays "YES", scene headings, often referred to as slug lines, are properly followed immediately with a brief action line describing the scene, characters and situation BEFORE any dialog occurs, no matter how superflous and unneccessary the action line is.

2 - pro screenplays by folks who have working relationships with other's already in the biz.
These aren't piles of gibberish, but the rules are relaxed some. This is where you'll see all sorts of format and style "transgressions", but then again, regular f#ck-buddies don't often greet each other with "Hello, Steven. Thank you for your time. It's a pleasure to see you today". So...
That's generally not us here.
We're all mostly still dating.

3 - "I'm gonna shoot this myself, what do you guys think"? screenplays.
Um... these are... who cares.
I don't even know why people drop these off here, but they do.
"Sure! It looks great. It's gold. Gopherit."
Format's a disaster.
No one can tell WTH is going on in the story.
Doesn't matter anyway.
If they don't care I don't know why I should.

So, "Yes".
Scene headers/slug lines are properly followed by a action line describing the setting before any dialog begins.

INT. HOME OFFICE - NIGHT

Ray sits at his antiquated PC beating the keyboard with a hammer.

                  RAY
     Miserable, monkey shite piece
     of gorilla snot! What's this blue
     screen rubbish!

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

Mrs. Ray sits overly patient in bed. P!ssed, really.

                  MRS. RAY
      When is that bloody Atavan
      going to kick in?

INT. HOME OFFICE - NIGHT

The madman continues punishing the keyboard.

                  RAY
     Stupid! Rotten! Bill Gates
     should rot in h3ll!



Something like that.
Each and every single time.


Exactly! And...

It's not so bad. You start to use these cues as opportunities to orient yourself. You ask yourself:

Should I really even be in this scene right now? What the hell? I've had four daytime scenes already? This really sucks the big banana!

Writing that action after the slug might seem pointless, but actually, it might be a good
writer's most striking weapon-- one that establishes a new tone and pace in the story that might need some zip, or perhaps it needs a bit of a lull.

Can you imagine if your whole script dangled on the thin thread of this one particular line? How you'd obsess over it? Stress over it? Dream nightmares over it?

Writers killing themselves over these kinds of things are what make the process so painfully rich. No one pays you for the ten weeks of stress you spent on one line, but you don't care. If you have one reader who says,

You really made me feel like I was with you in that room. ...

Then it feels like you did your job and it was worthwhile.

You want to hug the person who felt what you were trying to convey because
they're human too and they make you feel you're not alone.

It's all you were trying to do... Send something out to the cosmos that someone
else could internalize as their own.

Writers who can establish those kinds of connections are such special magnetic forces.
And then when you get especially gifted actors and directors into the mix, along with the numerous souls who work behind the scenes in sound and technical management...

You have a large and compressed world with all of its cogwheels performing perfectly-- round and round, producing a unified sensation that makes us know we're alive...

And be ever so grateful-- to wonder, what this essence-- this life, is all about.

Sandra
Posted by: mcornetto (Guest), March 5th, 2011, 1:10am; Reply: 12
There's actually only two formats:

1. SPEC (or SELLING) format
This should not include shots, scene numbers or anything else a director would add to your script.  This is the format your script should be in if you plan to sell it.  It is also the format your script should be in if you are posting it for online feedback, even if you plan to shoot it yourself.   I used to think differently about shooting yourself scripts but someone convinced me otherwise.   This is the format of communicating your story.   And please note that there are varying opinions on exactly what this format is.  My opinion is that the story should be highlighted and clear.  

2. SHOOTING format
This is the format your SPEC script is put into when it is ready to be shot.  This is done with input from the director and includes scene numbers, shots, and transitions.   You should not be writing your script with those things included.

Hope that helps.
Posted by: Sandra Elstree., March 5th, 2011, 1:14am; Reply: 13

Quoted from mcornetto
There's actually only two formats:

1. SPEC (or SELLING) format
This should not include shots, scene numbers or anything else a director would add to your script.  This is the format your script should be in if you plan to sell it.  It is also the format your script should be in if you are posting it for online feedback, even if you plan to shoot it yourself.   I used to think differently about shooting yourself scripts but someone convinced me otherwise.   This is the format of communicating your story.   And please note that there are varying opinions on exactly what this format is.  My opinion is that the story should be highlighted and clear.  

2. SHOOTING format
This is the format your SPEC script is put into when it is ready to be shot.  This is done with input from the director and includes scene numbers, shots, and transitions.   You should not be writing your script with those things included.

Hope that helps.


This does help, Michael.

In short, pay attention to your story. Look at other well done Spec scripts and try to follow.

Don't clutter your read with shots and numbers etc...

Sandra
Posted by: Baltis. (Guest), March 5th, 2011, 1:28am; Reply: 14

Quoted from Conz
still sounds like sarcasm.  no big deal, thanks


However you wanna take it is up to you --

It's like this; you don't need to even have a slug if you are in the same scene still -- So there shouldn't even be a discussion.  

---
INT. BATHROOM - DAY

Dicktwist steps out of the shower -- He grabs a nearby towel and covers himself
as he steps into

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

                         DICKTWIST
                   Hey everyone, watch this cool trick I learned while i was in the shower.
---


To me that's an absurd waste of space -- It's very green looking and it just doesn't help the pace of your page any.

What "I", not Seth, would do is this...

--

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

Dicktwist steps out of the shower -- He grabs a nearby towel and covers himself
as he steps into

THE LIVING ROOM

                        DICKTWIST
                  Hey everyone, watch this cool trick I learned while I was in the shower.


---

Take it or leave... Sarcasm and all.
Posted by: jwent6688, March 5th, 2011, 1:37am; Reply: 15
I always write at least one line of description under a new slug. Mini slugs? I can see an exception there. Especially if its a place we've already been before and was once described. I would prbably only do this if someone was walking from room to room in a house talking.

I really feel full slugs should have a descriptive line under them. If you took us to a new location or INT. from EXT. I just alway like to picture at least one thing about the scene before I read the dialogue.

James
Posted by: Sandra Elstree., March 5th, 2011, 1:53am; Reply: 16

Quoted from jwent6688
I always write at least one line of description under a new slug. Mini slugs? I can see an exception there. Especially if its a place we've already been before and was once described. I would probably only do this if someone was walking from room to room in a house talking.

I really feel full slugs should have a descriptive line under them. If you took us to a new location or INT. from EXT. I just alway like to picture at least one thing about the scene before I read the dialogue.

James


You've just nailed something that brings clarity--

Once a PLACE is established, it probably doesn't need a separate slug in CONTINUOUS action. ...

However:

If we're dealing with TIME TRAVEL SCRIPTS...

Then the details will define the TIME...

Should we do separate slugs (normal individual sluglines) in Time Travel Scripts? Or should we just use the Sub Sluglines and VISUAL CUES to help shift the viewer in time-place?

I think that there's a whole level of skill that I'm missing here. Where time changes can be dealt with in numerous ways, besides just a change in Slugline. Am I wrong?

Sandra

Posted by: Max Crowe, March 9th, 2011, 10:25pm; Reply: 17
Seriously when was the last time you watched a scene where as soon as there is a CUT TO: or FADE TO: the dialogue is in full swing... granted it may happen time to time... but not the norm... usually you see the face before you hear the face...

The point is... Unless you are the one filming it... then your gonna have to sell it at some point... and the money is always right - Eugene krabs ...lol but it's true...

The money hires people whose job it is to sort through the thousands of best ideas and dreams.

Movies... Move!  Talkies are daytime television.

IT IS ALWAYS BEST TO INSERT AT LEAST ONE LINE OF ACTION/DESCRIPTION. THIS IS WHAT KEEPS PULLING THE READER IN AND KEEPS THEM INFORMED OF HOW THE STORY MOVES...

open for all debate... as always
Posted by: Max Crowe, March 9th, 2011, 10:27pm; Reply: 18
by the way that wasn't directed at anyone... directly...respect ;D
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