The Dark: One For The Road

A group of people in an isolated Nebraska diner encounter a stranger with a horrifying secret.

Written by: Cameron Mitchell
Produced and Directed by:  Michael Cornetto
Voices:  Jorge Campos, Mardi Cook,  Tera Whitten,  Mefune Akira,  Mike Shelton
Additional video and music: Beverly Hillbillies Ep 6 (public domain)

Don't forget to Like The Dark:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Dark/137592462958475

View the script here:
http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/onefortheroad.pdf

Yes, I remember reading this one from Cam... I also remember it being my favorite of the bunch.  I've been waiting to see it.   Your choice in music was interesting.  Anyway, you did a very good job with this MC.   Hats off to all involved.


Ghostie

Perfect end line coming from Mike.

So does that burger, ah, come with fries?

Satan should have stuck around!  ;D

Sandra

Thanks you two.  Don't forget to pass the link for this around and help it get more views.  Cheers.

Mike,

It's a pleasure to watch each one of these as your skill level grows.
Narrative tug, shot composition and sound are all improved here.
I liked the hand held quality, not overdone, used to good effect.

One question: What's with Satan's mood ring wardrobe? :P

Regards,
E.D.

Quoted from Electric Dreamer One question: What's with Satan's mood ring wardrobe? :P

I wanted to give him a mystical quality - actually his whole looks change throughout.  

This had a different tone to it then I expected. Roach knocking out the camera guy, Satan dancing in the road. It didn't seem like you were trying to capture the eeriness the script had from what i read. If that wasn't your goal, I apologize.

On the other hand, after a second view, I like what you've done with it. The use of the static and the different looks of satan, which I'm surprised the diner patrons didn't notice. He was clearly different looking in the street. Anyways, good work.

Is it on machinama's channel yet? alway love those comments. Btw, have you heard from Cam lately??? Has he seen this??

James

I haven't heard a peep out of Cam so I don't know what's up with him.  

Based on the assets I had for this it was never going to work "seriously" so I went for a hand held - lighter approach - tried to give Satan a sort of Bugs Bunny/otherworldly character.   And it wasn't easy to insert that extra cameraman character.  It isn't my favourite episode but I'm good with the results.

This was NOT an easy script to do with Moviestorm.  The number of characters meant that everyone needed to emote almost all the time - which meant lots of set up.  Plus having that many characters and that much set at the same time kept bombing Moviestorm.  Sometimes it took me 12 tries to render a scene and I had to render them a bunch of times.  When The Dark 2 comes around (and it's already in the planning stages - 6 different directors and authors next time) I'm going to make a suggestion of no more than 3 characters in a scene.

This one was not submitted to Machinima.com.  This is because I was not pleased with the anti-aliasing of the graphics (another problem with Moviestorm and large sets).   I just think this would have been inviting trouble with the Machinima.com audience.  And since this is not on Machinima passing the link for this film around to your friends would be really helpful.

Thanks.

MC -

Thanks for answering James’ questions, I had the same questions! I wish Cam was around, I liked his writing. Thanks for doing this episode, the voicing for Satan was best. I also liked the Beverly Hillbillies episode in the bg. Yeah, the anti aliasing problems are noticeable. Tell us more about round 2 when you can.

Gary

Hey guys, you're not going to like this, but I didn't like this one at all.

I remember the script very clearly and it was easily the best of the bunch and really, REALLY worked.  This didn't work for me...at all.

It had a an odd vibe to it.  It felt slow. It didn't have the same realness to it that came through in Cam's writing.  I didn't like the static stuff at all, and IMO, the voice work was not good overall.  Also didn't like the music at all.

It came off as some kind of comedy almost to me.  There was no horror, no tension, no terror.  Satan looked comical, and I don't think he should have.

I'm sorry to say this and keep in mind, it's just my opinion.  I was very excited when i saw this was finally completed.  I decided to wait before I posted my comments, but felt like I needed to say what i thought.

Sorry you didn't like it Jeff but as I stated above I did the best with the assets I had.  Though this script might have been the best liked script, it apparently wasn't the best script for a Moviestorm made video.   Maybe live action would have made it work better.

I hear you, Cornie, and I mean no disrespect in any way.  You're probably completely right.

I agree with Jeff.  I didn't like the story/dialog/characters.  Credit to Cornetto for his animation.  This one had a lot of characters to play with.


Phil

I think the static might have been overused, but maybe that is just because it was REALLY loud on my laptop when it popped up.  Less is more with that technique -- for me anyway.

But I liked the characters and the acting -- while you probably put that cornball music in afterward, I thought it really complimented the dialogue and delivery of the voices.

I am not sure the newscast was necessary.  I think that detail could have been snipped from the script and it still would have played out fine with some minor tweaks.  It kind of telegraphs the end -- it might have been better to have the sirens just fade in later without that newscast as a precursor.

The composition looked great to me, Corney.  I guess I am easily impressed with all this stuff, but I really like how you piece these things together.

I just wish they would perfect the teeth for their characters.  That always creeps me out.

Quoted from mcornetto I was not pleased with the anti-aliasing of the graphics (another problem with Moviestorm and large sets).

What does this even mean?  It bugs me a little that Gary is, like, "Oh, yeah, that is very noticable" -- while I do not even understand what you are talking about...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spatial_anti-aliasing


Look at the walls when the camera moves, you see a pattern.

You know, I saw the posts for this and for some reason had no interest in it. But I just watched it now, and I have to say I was pretty impressed.

Everyone did a good job with the voices, but most especially Satan. He did an outstanding job.

The visual looks pretty cool. Certainly enough to hold your interest as long as the script and the reading is good, which it generally was.

Only two minor criticisms could I come up with. At the beginning, when he walks in, she asks what he wants to drink. But this is a diner, why would she ask that? People go there to eat. Maybe she would ask that when he sits down. I think it is here just to set up the whiskey line, and that takes you out of the story a little.

Second, I was kind of hoping for a situation where one of the characters had to make some kind of a choice. Had something to overcome maybe. But I realize that might have been hard with a short story. The way the script is now is still good, and resolves things nice and neatly in the alloted time. So while more would have been cool, this was a good start.

And amazingly, the whole thing leaves a lasting image of that diner in one's mind, with those very characters. That's surprising to me. So you have something that will get more and more powerful as you master it, and as the software evolves.

Great work whoever was involved.

Thanks Kevin.  Glad you watched it.  You should check out the other episodes as well.

The music that everyone keeps mentioning is the end credits from the Beverly Hillbillies episode.  The public domain season had that music as the credits music, so I used it as background.

The static was used to disguise scene cuts where it was appropriate. So were the dirty cuts.  Because this caused lots of problems with Moviestorm I had to divide it into small scenes, 14 of them.

Have you guys done any comedy? That would really have potential. Look at the success of comedy cartoons. Tough to write I guess.

Quoted from leitskev Have you guys done any comedy? That would really have potential. Look at the success of comedy cartoons. Tough to write I guess.

Computer Girl
http://www.youtube.com/user/computergirltv#g/c/5BE06D4104FFF83E

The Dark
http://www.youtube.com/user/computergirltv#g/c/2F2A6C4C15B1A152

Just watched the first Computer Girl. Pretty clever. While I was watching it occurred to me what enormous challenge you have. Two of my favorite shows were cartoons, the Simpsons and Family Guy. But it takes some viewing to get into these characters and find them funny. I guess that is true of a regular sit come too, usually.

You guys did a good job. The only thing I can think that would help would be to somehow make the characters look humorous. Think Peter or Homer as inspiration. You may not be able to do that with that software. Or you may need an artist. I can tell you that you can hire artists online for this kind of stuff for very cheap money. I've done it before, but it was a while ago, so I forget the site. But it was a site for web development. There were forums for programmers and computer artists.

Very nice effort here though.

While I do agree with Jeff and Phil that the story seemed flat - and nothing against Cam's script - and it dragged a bit, I thought that the technical skill behind it was pretty amazing, even by Cornie's standards!

There was much more detail and stuff happening, espesh in the background sound, so it was more impressive, to me anyway. I liked the static and newscast, they gave it more oomph!

Thanks guys.  This one took me the longest of any of these videos.  I had to do it twice because the first time just wasn't working - artistically or technically.   So it's nice to get some positive feedback.

I'm a little surprised though that no one has mentioned Don's spectacular performance.  Thanks for being a part of it Don.

Up next is The Killing Gene.   That should be done relatively quickly especially since I have a bunch of time off work at the end of the month.

Then I finish up with a bang doing The Faceless.

And to ramp you guys up for season two here's a few videos from the other directors of The Dark 2.

Interesting little film MC. I've enjoyed these episodes you've created.

I think you did a very good job on the look of this one. Good location and character models.

I must admit that this wasn't my favourite script. It was exceedingly popular, but I personally felt it was one of the weakest of the bunch in terms of story...no offence to Cam. It was a very well written script and highly polished, but I felt the core story was as old as the Devil himself and more than a bit cliche.

Having said that I do think there were some choices you made that perhaps weakened what was there.

The first is the decision to use the handheld cam. It's an interesting tool, but it seemed unnecessary here and in my opinion slowed the film down.

It seemed weird that you introduced an extra character...the camerman...and didn't involve him in the story. He gets punched at one point, for no reason, but is never introduced and never plays any part in the story. His presence in the film makes little sense...particularly as the main character never addresses him despite apparently travelling with him.

A more traditional approach would seem to suit the story better...a much simpler film style with slow tracking shots, close ups of the characters as they emote would have worked better with the material in my opinion.

The camerman gets in the way of the story. For example...when Roach aks for the burger...we have to wait for a few seconds while the camerman can zoom out and pan to the cook. With an objective camera you could have had a quick shot of Roach and cut straight to the Cook answering him...saving time and increasing the fluidity of the story.

Another choice I didn't get was the decision to change the appearance of Satan...that seemed extraneous to the plot. Plus seeing him waving his arms around in the road was odd. Having him just stood there staring at the place would have been more effective. Maybe with his head bowed and his hat over his face, so you don't know he's not Suggs (or whatever he was called).

A general point is that there's quite a lot of fat that could be cut. The news report runs long, there's lot of lines that are unnecessary eg when Roach asks about the burger, the woman intercedes and then the Cook answers...you could have cut out the middle man there without losing anything...there's a few moments like that.

My other concern would be the ending with Satan taking the soul to hell. The laugh and the flames. The face of the dead serial killer is outstandingly realised and I don't think you needed to treat the material anything less than seriously. That face alone tells the story with everything that's gone before.

Anyway, those are my thoughts.

You're developing your skills nicely, and this is a further step on that road, but I think as a story this missed the mark a little.

Still, great job overall.

Rick.

I hope Rick doesn't read this, but I read his suggestions, and you should follow every single one in this case. It definitely would improve this immensely.

One thing I was ok with that people seemed to have some trouble with was the tv report. I thought that was necessary to the story, but it also...I don't know if this will make sense...drew me further into the diner. I know this sounds crazy, but before, I was an outsider watching a skit in a diner. But the way the report comes on, and then we zoom in on the tv from within the diner, had the effect of drawing me into the diner itself. From then on, I was in the diner with the other characters. Does that make any sense?

You absolutely should keep developing this skill. As you perfect it, and as the software improves, you will have something that has the potential to become viable to a wider audience, and if your wanted, has commercial value.

Rick,

You're confusing this with something that has the flexibility of live action.  It doesn't.  It's limited.  

My first try at this was seriously - it wasn't going to work - not in Moviestorm - not with the assets I had.  The stuff I added I added to increase visual interest.  Otherwise this script is just a bunch of people sitting around talking for ten minutes and frankly that was really boring - no offence Cam.

Perhaps if the actors were live and you were able to catch nuances of performance it would have been more interesting done straight.

I agree that cramming the extra character in there without an explanation was a bit odd and I would have liked the assets to have him more explained.  But I didn't have them and I wasn't going to make this video my life's work.  It already has taken four plus months of my time.  Most of the other episodes in contrast take one of two months.

Not everyone is going to like every episode of a series.  I've resigned myself to the fact that this was going to be one of those episodes.  

And Kevin - any video that goes out on Machinima.com is already commercial.

Fair enough MC.

I tried to have a little dabble with Moviestorm a while ago, so I know it's not easy,and I wasn't criticising.

No worries Rick.  I didn't take it the wrong way.  Was just explaining.

And I'm surprised no one has mentioned the last of those videos posted above.  If I was going to post a script I would certainly hope he chose mine.

Quoted from mcornetto And I'm surprised no one has mentioned the last of those videos posted above.  If I was going to post a script I would certainly hope he chose mine.

I agree, the graphics of that rival any HD gaming I've ever seen. That doesn't even look like the moviestorm clips I'm used to. So you've got all these filmakers on board to produce original scripts next go around? Good job Michael, I'll certainly try to write something when the time comes.

James

You think?  Seriously?  I don't know about that...

Quoted from jwent6688 So you've got all these filmakers on board to produce original scripts next go around?

Yep.  They're all on board.

Quoted from mcornetto Rick, You're confusing this with something that has the flexibility of live action.  It doesn't.  It's limited.   My first try at this was seriously - it wasn't going to work - not in Moviestorm - not with the assets I had.  The stuff I added I added to increase visual interest.  Otherwise this script is just a bunch of people sitting around talking for ten minutes and frankly that was really boring - no offence Cam. Perhaps if the actors were live and you were able to catch nuances of performance it would have been more interesting done straight. I agree that cramming the extra character in there without an explanation was a bit odd and I would have liked the assets to have him more explained.  But I didn't have them and I wasn't going to make this video my life's work.  It already has taken four plus months of my time.  Most of the other episodes in contrast take one of two months. Not everyone is going to like every episode of a series.  I've resigned myself to the fact that this was going to be one of those episodes.   And Kevin - any video that goes out on Machinima.com is already commercial.

I can't speak yet on the nuances that have been detailed in the criticisms, but I do know
that (and I had said something similar in a different thread)...

That if you're part of "the party", then it's within your right to criticize, but if you come in blind, not knowing all ofl the difficulties, it's really not fair to do so.

I find myself turning my head right now, and noticing as I do so,  every way I turn. It's quite peculiar. But the thing is-- this awareness.

Now I skip-- make a quantum leap in thought and make everyone go, "What the hell's she talking about?'

Awareness... Michael knows the difficulties and barriers of working in Moviestorm because he works with it. If criticism is supplied, it needs to be with a caveat. Otherwise, it looks "outwardly" as if the person (who does know their craft) doesn't know their craft to the people "who don't know the craft" and paints the former in a negative light.

Just sayin'

The measuring stick with which we gauge, needs to be fair and equal. It is however, always changing and subject to our intelligent, meaningful and emotional scrutiny.

It takes diligent souls to work with technology, stubbornly, admitting to the weaknesses in favor of its strengths. Ultimately, providing a unique view of the world in whatever times they find themselves,-- that which artists treasure...

They treasure the unique view.

I appreciated these words from Michael:

Not everyone is going to like every episode of a series.  I've resigned myself to the fact that this was going to be one of those episodes.


One only has so much time. Eventually, on any project, a person has to know when to say

stop

It doesn't mean it's over. It just means that it's over for now.

Sandra