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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  Its Tisa Time/Towaway Again
Posted by: Don, May 17th, 2011, 5:36pm
Its Tisa Time/Towaway Again by Debra Plante - Short, Comedy - Gang spoof, Los Angeles Police Corruption, Courts Corruption. 22 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: jackx, June 9th, 2011, 12:40am; Reply: 1
Not sure what's up with the double title but I would recommend picking one and sticking with it.
Also your address on a script online is kinda inviting trouble.  Email would be fine.
And draft number is not needed on a spec script.
And off the title page...
Okay... Do not want or need a list of actors or scenes.  Do not want title on the top of every page.  Or all caps.  Not sure what kinda formatting this is trying to be, maybe a play?

And I got about two pages into the actual script before calling it quits.  I'm pretty forgiving, but if you consistently can't capitalize 'i' then your gonna have trouble getting reads.  It feels like this was typed in instant message speak on an iPhone.  

On a side note your dialogue if pretty expositional and there is limited scene or character description, which is almost a relief due to the all caps.  

Oh and you start right off with an unfilmable...
Posted by: Pale Yellow, November 5th, 2011, 8:48pm; Reply: 2
Before what jackx said about the title, casting page, and sets page.

Another thing immediately bothered me was the all CAPS.

Pg 1 missed periods at the end of sentences, forgot to capitalize I, no question marks...lots of grammar problems

But I kept reading...The dialogue seemed not real at all to me. I'm sorry but I quit reading at pg 4.
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