Hi Megan,
Your script has a good storyline, and mostly good dialogue and description, although the formatting isn't that great. Have you tried celtx? It's free scirpt formatting softrware that you can download at
http://celtx.com/.
Anyway, at first I liked the script, despite the formatting issues. So I read to about page 30, and got tired of it. I thought the story wasn't paced right. I mean, Lindsay was already crying on page 20-something, which seemed a little too emotional so near the beginning of the scirpt. Slow it down a little. Let us get to know the characters first, before much action comes in. Sure, it's horror, but that doesn't mean we can't care about the characters.
And I thought Jake's personality was a little confusing. I mean, at first I thought he was some geeky film guy, but then he starts saying things like "F--- you" which made me think of him as more of a jerk than a nice geek.
Also, I thought there was too much swearing, which got annoying fast. I seriously doubt that ANY kids actually say the f-word every thirty seconds. A few times is fine, because it can make your dialogue sound more realistic, but too many times is just plain annoying.
Anyway, when you develope the characters more, fix the formatting, and edit it some, I might read it. And I'm looking forward to reading the next draft. This script has the potential to be a really good horror film someday.