The Bay by Chris Malone (chrism1986) - Horror - Mans inhumanity towards man during a zombie apocalypse. 56 pages - fdr, format 8)

Not in PDF format!
56 pages!
No Title Page! (Appears on p1-you are using Final Draft! I checked what should be your title page and it is unused. You just start writing on FD?)



See, I work with Final Draft, so I can open this file. Others may not be so lucky. Still, is there some reason why you can't save this in a pdf?

In any case, I quickly notice camera and editing direction, one such even stating that "During the second section cut to montage of what the narrator is saying."
??)

I don't mean to be crass or to be an ass, but c'mon Chis. Show me, don't tell me. And don't tell me what's about to be told. (or shown)

As for the guys SHOUTING AT EACH OTHER IN ALL CAPS drop that. It's an eyesore. You can have the same dialog (although some of it is overwritten) and the characters could still holler at each other but NOT IN ALL CAPS.

Quoted Text SLEDGLEY AND WE MADE THE WRONG ONE!! WE LEFT OUR FRIENDS TO DIE, MOST OF WHOM HAVE ENDED UP AS ONE OF THEM!!!!!! MOCKTON MAKES AGGRESSIVE MOVES TOWARDS SLEDGLEY. MOCKTON DON'T YOU DARE BRING UP THE PAST, YOU SON OF A BITCH - DON’T TRY TO PIN THIS ON EVERYONE ELSE. WE ARE DOING THIS WHETHER YOUR WITH US OR NOT. SO SIT DOWN AND HELP - OR WALK OUT AND STOP WASTING OUR TIME.

and in the next scene...

Quoted Text SIMON When you arrived at the theatre, what happened, where did you go? MOCKTON OH GOD!! WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO OVER THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN?! IT HURTS JUST AS MUCH FOR ME YOU KNOW. SIMON I KNOW DAD BUT IF YOU WANT ME TO GO BACK I NEED YOU TO TELL ME THE TRUTH!

and the next:

Quoted Text SIMON TODD SLICKTON will accompany me. SLICKTON NOT A FUCKING CHANCE. NO CHANCE IN HELL. MOCKTON YOU SON OF A BITCH. THIS IS YOUR FAULT.

Better 56 pages than a 120pg monster to start making your revisions. And it is bold of you to put this out where a general public can see it. But I can't get bast p15 because EVERYONE IS SHOUTING MOST OF THE TIME FINGERPOINTING AND SWEARING IN CAPS MOST OF THE TIME and WE SEE a lot - but only what you tell me  :-/

And "the committee has spoken" (not have)

Hiya,

I really appreciate the feedback that you have provided about my writing. As you've probably guessed, it's my first go at doing something like this and I would be stupid to think it was great, so i appreciate the comments that you made. It's obvious that you have a good eye for this and very good at it. Is there anything that you did like about it at all?

This looked really cool (at least from your logline), but it's in Final Draft format so I have no way of reading it (I'm a Celtx man, myself).

I'd recommend .pdf format, so it's not so exclusive.