Heaven by Adam Vaughn (afterhours85) - Drama - A humble pentecostal church becomes a dangerous cult under the tyranny of a psychotic pastor, while an outcast member struggles to find meaning in a world he doesn't understand  107 pages - doc, format :)

Wow!
Good story. I'm not sure about the using of WORD software. Everyone else here uses PDF.

Not bad at all though. Keep writing.

gee thanks, its good to have a positive feedback on my first effort...i was going to wait until i got the final draft done to post it, but i thought what the heck, lets see if someone will tell em what they think about the rough draft..mucho gracias amigo

Hi Adam,

Looks like your a good writer but don't know much about writing screenplays.

Read (like I do) as much screenplays as you can. For good format buy
"The Holleywood Standard" - Christopher Riley.

Further:

* Try to cut up your text blocks "big time";
* cut down on the bishops dialog;
* dont describe facts we can not see;
* put  a parenthetical "under" your dialog;
* try to not use (if possible) STUDENT #1 but describe your characters.

First part of your script could look "something" like this:

OVER BLACK

“Everyone living on the planet listen up. The year is 1999. The year that follows will not be year 2000.”

--Bishop JOHN COLT


FADE IN:

EXT. A CHURCH - DAY

It's hot.  The air is foggy with tenseness. Blurry hot white light clouds our vision of the scene; a bright, angelic object the size of a basketball falls upon the three story church in SLOW MOTION like something heavenly descending from the clouds.

EXT. CHURCH - PARKING LOT - NIGHT

Four young slightly nerdy looking university students are walking out of a church...


Cheers,

Rutger

wow thanks again for someones opinion
i'm new to this screenplay writing thing but i'm definitely learning...and from what you're telling me, and what i see from other screenplays, i know this screenplay needs a lot of work. you're right , i really need to find a way to cut down on the bishop's speeches..you're right i don't know much about screenplays, but its good to get what you have in your head down on paper as fast as possible and worry about proper format later
again,thanks a lot Rutger... one more thing though, what is a text block? and by describing the minor characters do you mean give them names? bcuz i read somewhere that was a no no...and oh yeah, you say not to describe what we can't see, does that include not describing a character upon introducing them to the reader? i'm just not sure where to draw the line

"text blocks" - Don't go over 4 lines of prose in your action/description prose.

"unfilmables" - some will disagree, but don't write what can't be seen onscreen, including character intros and description.  Write what can be seen and do it in a way that we can see the character and his/her traits.

Give every speaking character a name.  Some will disagree with this again, but if you don't. it's just lazy writing.

Good luck. Read some scripts in here and comment on them.  get to know some peeps in here and you'll get more rads and advice.  Just say what you feel based on what you read, as any feedback is good feedback.