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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  Coffee and Cigarettes
Posted by: Don, August 26th, 2011, 7:03pm
Coffee and Cigarettes by Buck T. Masterson - Short, Drama, Comedy - An aspiring actor who works at a coffee house meets his most admired and inspirational mentor figure, world renowned actor Bruce Billinghurst. As fate would have it, this chance meeting turns into something much bigger, and both men go through a life changing experience.  10 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: Forgive, August 30th, 2011, 8:12am; Reply: 1
Hi there - this was okay - I didn't entirely see the point to it. Didn't see any major goofs with the formatting, just a few minors here and there (CUSTOMERS shouldn't be capped if they are non-speaking parts/ DIXIE had no introduction / & I'm not too sure your firstt two words are a great introduction to any work - "Boring, unoriginal" - quote.).

I felt that it was fairly well written - you've obviously written before and may have had some work produced - it was clearly filmable on a low budget.

I always think that some telling is fine now & again, but there was a little too much telling here, and it did become a little distracting.

The pace of the piece was pretty good, and it kept things going - it would look good on film; nice feel-good element to it - my only concern is if it is worth filming - it's fine as an excercise, but the editing would be the most testing part of it - it never really stretches the imagination, and the reveal is a little blunt. With a more convincing climax, this would be a more worthy piece of work.

Best o' luck to you.
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