Path To Peace - Print Topic

Posted by: Don, August 27th, 2011, 8:44am

Path To Peace by Brian Howell (reuel51) - Short, Drama - In the aftermath of a suicide bomb, a dying man has one regret. - pdf, format 8)

Posted by: leitskev, August 27th, 2011, 8:49am; Reply: 1

I could see where you were going as soon as he said "doesn't mean I won't die", but that's not really a problem for me. For a 1 pager, I thought this was pretty darn good, Brian. If these comments seem brief, they still represent about 5% of this short! I assume this was for a one page competition. It should do well, I would think. Good work.

Posted by: sniper, August 27th, 2011, 8:59am; Reply: 2

"When in doubt - C4." - Jamie Hynemann (Mythbusters)

Yeah, you got your point across but with these 1-pagers it's often difficult for the reader to see the reason behind action. Same thing goes with this one.

Posted by: reuel51, August 27th, 2011, 9:20am; Reply: 3

Yes, this was for a one-page competition on MP.

Thanks for reading.

Leitskev, you never have to apologize to me for brief comments. I'll accept anything. :-)

Sniper, I was sort of relying on subject matter to help fill in the blanks there. Thanks for commenting.

Posted by: Mr. Blonde, August 27th, 2011, 9:34am; Reply: 4

I really loved this one when I read it in July, Brian. Very good stuff.

Being that my review's already there, there's nothing else I can tell you about it. Lol.

My favorite of my month (as lots of other people's as well) and definitely deserved #1. =)

Posted by: Electric Dreamer, August 27th, 2011, 1:20pm; Reply: 5

Hey Brian,

Congrats on the contest win.
You accomplished a lot with one page.
An effective slice of a story with human rights implications. Kudos.

E.D.

Posted by: albinopenguin, August 29th, 2011, 3:26pm; Reply: 6

congrats on the win. after reading this, i can see that it was well deserved. not much to comment on considering its a one pager. it's short, it's effective, and it's well written. my only suggestion would be to set this short in a specific location. as it stands now, we're not sure if this takes place in israel, iraq, north america, etc.

Posted by: Forgive, August 29th, 2011, 4:48pm; Reply: 7

Impressive: ugly and brutal and effective. Tense writing style, kept everything to a minimal. Good stuff all round.

Posted by: jackx, September 9th, 2011, 4:42pm; Reply: 8

Well written, nice and terse befitting a one pager. The subject kinda left me listless though. It doesn't really say much, and seems like viewing it would just kinda be sixty seconds of shock without much behind it. But hey, maybe I'm hoping for too much from one page.

In any case the styles good, and if it won a contest then it's just my personal opinion holding me back.