The Camp by Brian Daniel Boyd (Horrorscribe) - Horror - Condemned to a remote, island prison camp, a group of soldiers find themselves battling rabid Nazis after an experiment with the dead takes on a life of its own. 108 pages - pdf, format 8)

I really liked this. The plot was not mind blowingly original, but it was an entertaining read. I could see this being a low budget underground movie.

As always show more, tell less. Choose action verbs over linking verbs like is/are. You have a good idea of what your genre is. You open with the monster of the story and murder of some Nazi. Introduce us to the main characters, a group of British soldiers.

Explaining character’s trait in the narrative can be potential pit fall if you never show how that character has that trait. For example, telling me someone is cheerful doesn’t do much in showing me something on the screen (it might be good note for the actor playing the role), but if you wrote the character correctly, he’d play a joke one of comrades like you have Ainsworth doing. This is why it works and why for me, IMO, telling doesn’t hurt cause you show us too.

The characters also have a goal before the hook of the story kicks in, which is a subtle detail but the better stories usually have them. If the zombies never came you’d still have drama because they have a mission, but you through in zombies creates your hook.

I don’t know how realistic that plane going down the way did is, or that I agree with how the action reads, however, plot point made though, the plane goes down.

You’ve combined the horror/action genre always a good combo, monster in the first reel and action following.

I’ve yet to establish who the main character is however because none of them seem to have a need, which you don’t always need, but it helps center on who the main character is because they overt personal problem or issue.

So far good, hoping to read more, waiting for a response before I continue on.

BLB