In The Evening by Mike Guerrini (mike) - Short - A New York detective runs out of gas in New Jersey where a stranger in a 1977 cadillac offers assistance. What turns out to be unassuming samaritan gesture turns into a confession of strange proportions. 17 pages - pdf, format 8)

Okay, kinda predictable half way through. The dialogue in the car didn't really go anywhere.

This story seems too intricate to be a short, maybe it's intended to be the opening of a more complex work.  I think it could be interesting, if we learn more about Tim etc. --  as it reads now, I don't think the ending works.

Hey guyz, Thanks for the feedback.  I'm new at this and appreciate it.  this script is more or less a start for a 50 page short I'm writing and think it will make more sense when it's complete.  Once again, thanks for the input.

no problem, its hard to get a response or a read from anyone. got three scripts on here for a while

Amel, to get reads and feedback, you need to give reads and provide feedback.  You have 2 posts, both on this script.  You need to venture out and read a bunch of scripts, provide feedback, and you'll find that the people you helped, will help you in return.

Or at least the way it works in theory.  Quid Pro Quo.

yeah that's what i've been thinking. and i just created an account yesterday or two days ago

There you go, then.  You're on the right track now.

Just jump ion and read some shorts near the top of the board.  Choose scripts written by writers who have already responded to feedback, so you know they're active and want feedback.  You'll find that if you do this and then ask fro a return read, most will be more than happy to oblige you.

Good luck and enjoy your time here.  It's a cool place and great place to learn.